---
section: Library
booktitle: "The Path of Love"
booktype: "Discourses"
bookcode: "PLOVE"
dategiven: "31 December 1976 am"
place: " in Buddha Hall"
chapternum: "Chapter #10"
chaptertitle: "Please Wake Up"
acode: "7612310"
shorttitle: "PLOVE10"
audio: "Yes"
video: "No"
esttime: "76mins"
displaytitle: "The Path of Love: Chapter #10"
---

```style
.sutra {
  font-style: italic;
  white-space: pre-wrap !important;
}
```
<!--This file is automatically generated. Do not edit!-->


The first question:
<p class="question">YOU TELL US THE PATHS ARE OF WILL AND SURRENDER. THE PATH OF WILL IS CERTAINLY NOT FOR ME, BUT THEN SURRENDER ALSO DOES NOT SEEM TO BE PERFECT. NOW, WHAT TO DO? BELOVED MASTER, I AM TOTALLY CONFUSED. KINDLY SHOW ME MY PATH.</p>


THE FIRST THING: if you are really totally confused, out of that confusion will come clarity. But you are not totally confused. Once confusion is total, it becomes the path. Then there is no need for any other path. We seek paths out of confusion, because we are confused... but not totally confused, and we think that we can figure things out. Total confusion means now you are totally helpless, now there is no way to go, now you don't know anything about the goal, about yourself, about the Way. You know nothing. You are in a state of blank. If confusion is total, mind becomes blank. But you are never totally confused -- partially, certainly; totally, never.


Total confusion is one of the ways to reach God. It means all your knowledge has proved meaningless; and when I say all, I mean all. Not that you say, "I know a little bit. This much is right. This much is true." Total confusion means you are in a tremendous dark night of the soul. There is no light available, and there even seems to be no possibility. You are hopeless. There is no hope. The future has disappeared, the past has proved meaningless. The anguish has come to the utter peak. From that very peak, mind disappears -- because mind can continue only if you are partially confused. Mind cannot exist in a total confusion. In fact, mind cannot exist in anything which is total.


Total love -- mind disappears. Total will -- mind disappears. Total surrender -- mind disappears. Totality is against mind; they never exist together. Total confusion -- mind disappears.


Try to understand this: that confusion can remain only if it is not total. Mind can remain only if you are not totally in anything. Be total in anything whatsoever, and mind cannot cling to you even for a single moment. But you have used the word 'totally' just to emphasize; you don't know the meaning of it.


A totally confused person cannot even ask this question. How will he ask? How will he articulate a question? A question arises out of knowledge. A totally confused person will come to me, will look at me with empty eyes, with mad eyes; he cannot formulate a question. The questioner means the mind; the questioner means you are still clinging to certain knowledge. You are still hoping that a path can be found, that somebody can show you the path. You still think yourself capable -- that you will be able to find some way to get out of it. Your desperation is not UTTER. Your anguish is not perfect.


If you cannot think that will is your path, and you cannot think that surrender is your path, then I will say: confusion seems to be natural to you -- let that be your path. But be confused totally. Don't be halfheartedly in it. Be so totally confused that nothing of knowledge remains in you -- no certainty, no security, no scripture, no religion, no belief. And I say it to you because I myself worked on the way of confusion.


Of course, when the total confusion comes closer to you, you will become more and more mad. You will not know what is what. Then courage will be needed: tremendous courage is needed. Sufis call it a technique: "the technique of confusion". Confusion uproots everything that you know, leads you into emptiness, a darkness. When all knowledge is dropped, how can confusion remain? Just listen to it.


You come to me, you believe in God, and I say there is no God; then there is confusion -- not because I have said there is no God, but because you believe that there is God. Now there are two conflicting things in you: "There is God" a part of you says, another part has become convinced with me that there is no God. Hence, confusion. Confusion means conflict. Confusion means you have two sorts of knowledge which are going diametrically opposite, which are pulling you apart.


For the future the technique of confusion is going to become more and more important. It was never so important in the past, because a Hindu was born a Hindu and he never bothered about Christians and Mohammedans and Parsis and Jainas. From the very beginning he knew that he was right, and everybody else was wrong. A Mohammedan was a Mohammedan, and he knew the truth is in the Koran and everything else is just nonsense. The Christian was a Christian, and he knew the way went through Christ and there is no other way; all other ways go to hell.


It was absolute certainty, based in ignorance; and I am not in support of it. But there was no confusion. There was certainty and everybody was happy with his certainty. Certainty is very dangerous -- nobody has achieved truth through certainty. But people were more comfortable, it was more convenient. Mediocre, stupid minds felt very good; they know. The very idea that we know, and that we are in the right, and everybody else is in the wrong, is a great protection. It leads you nowhere, because unless one moves through confusion, clarity never comes.


Clarity is not certainty. Certainty is not clarity. Certainty is a blind belief. The world has lived in certainty, but now that is no more possible. That comfort is no more available. The world has become smaller and smaller and smaller; it is a global village now. The Hindu has to know about the Christian; there is no way to avoid it. The Christian has to know about the Hindu. People can read, people can listen to the radio, can see the TV. People have become more capable of knowledge, and knowledge has exploded from everywhere. Now all this knowledge is creating confusion: "Who is right?"


Mohammedans, Christians, Jews, believe in only one life. There was no confusion before; that was THE TRUTH. Now it is very difficult. Even for an idiotic Christian, it is very difficult to continue to believe in one life -- because millions of Hindus, millions of Buddhists, Jainas, Sikhs; half the world is not a small matter. Half the world says there is rebirth, reincarnation. Now it is impossible not to listen to this other half, and they also have their reasonings. Confusion arises.


Confusion means: now you have become available to all sorts of knowledge. And when you come toe, certainly! -- then you will be more and more confused! One day I speak on the Mohammedans, another day I speak on the Jews, another day on Buddhists, Hindus, Jainas, and I continue. I am making all secret sources of knowledge available to you. It is natural; you will become confused. But don't be in a hurry.


Confusion is being used here as a technique, and confusion is going to become the most important technique in the coming world. Because now there is no way to move back into your tunnels and become a Hindu and blind to everything else, and become a Jew, blind to everything else; there is no way now. It is impossible for a Christian to deny Buddha, and when Buddha comes in, of course your belief in Jesus starts wavering. Even Buddhists have now to trust that Christ is also somewhere near -- he may not be exactly at the center, but somewhere near. He may not be a Buddha, but is at least a bodhisattva; a Buddha potentially, very close. But then there are troubles: then the whole of Jesus -- his attitude, his approach, his philosophy, his way of life -- is so contradictory to the Buddha's. Buddha sits silently under his tree, unconcerned about the world. Jesus is very much concerned, very much involved with the world; it is not just an accident that the Jews had to kill him. And it is not just an accident that Buddha was not killed by Hindus. He was not doing anything, he was just sitting under his bodhi tree, meditating. But Jesus was meddling with the social affairs: the politics, organization, society, church, religion. He was going to destroy the whole structure; he was a revolutionary. He had to be killed.


Now there is Jesus, there is Buddha, there is Krishna. Krishna is another dimension: Buddha is sitting under his tree, Krishna is playing on his flute. You cannot imagine Buddha playing on a flute. Jesus is hanging on the cross, and Krishna is dancing with so many girlfriends. Such diverse dimensions have become available together; now you are confused.


But to me, confusion is more valuable than certainty. Certainty is mediocre, certainty is stupid. Certainty simply means that you don't know. Only a person who is very ignorant can be certain.


Once it happened: Somebody was talking to Voltaire and he mentioned a name, the name of a very famous theologian, philosopher, and the man who was talking about this theologian said to Voltaire that he knew everything. Voltaire looked surprised and said, "Is he so stupid to know everything?"


A wise man hesitates. A wise man cannot be so certain. A wise man knows the multiplicity of life. A wise man knows the multidimensional existence. A wise man knows that all that we know is nothing in comparison to that which remains to be known. The unknown is always more than the known. The known is just like a grain of sand; Buddha has said so. "Whatsoever I know," he says, "Is just like a grain of sand, and whatsoever I don't know is the whole sand of the earth, of all the Ganges," of all the rivers, of all the seas.


Certainty is not something valuable. It is comfortable, true; so is stupidity comfortable. An idiot seems to be the most blessed man. Why? -- he has no confusion, he has really no mind to be confused. He has such a tiny flicker of intelligence that he cannot afford confusion. The greater the intelligence, the greater you can afford confusion. Hence I say this age is the age of confusion, because this age is the age of intelligence.


The old certainty is gone and the old foolishness too -- and good! And I hope it is gone for good. Confusion has entered; this is the first step towards clarity. If you really are courageous, you will question everything that you know, and you will question ABSOLUTELY. And you should not be very soft about it. You should question everything that you know, and through questioning, all that you know is eliminated. And don't be in a hurry to be certain, otherwise you will not be able to question. Your questioning will become dishonest. If your questioning is honest, then it has to go to the very core of your being.


A seeker of truth becomes a fire, a thirst, a great hunger. He puts his whole life at stake. Of course, he has to take the risk of being confused; he will be confused. But if you persist, and you don't cling to something just for clarity, just for certainty, just to be comfortable; if you don't cling to something, if your search is authentic, one day you will see -- all has disappeared.


First comes confusion; confusion cuts the roots of your knowledge. Once all knowledge has disappeared, confusion also disappears -- because confusion cannot exist without knowledge. You believe in God and somebody says there is no God, and your belief was just a belief, and you drop the belief.... You say, "Okay, I will now believe only when I know, and I have not known yet. So good: this man who says there is no God has helped me to get rid of a belief that was only a belief and not my own experience, borrowed. I drop it."


If you drop the belief.... I am not saying to start believing that there is no God, because then again you will be confused some day. Then you can come to somebody else who is tremendously happy, prayerful: his very vibe says that there is more to life. And he says there is God, and God has happened to him -- again you will be confused. Now you were clinging to the belief that there is no God, and here comes this man. No, don't cling to any belief. Drop all belief. Remain in that vacuum of no belief, neither in God nor in no God. No belief -- Christian, Hindu, Mohammedan, theistic, atheistic; no belief -- then who can confuse you? How can you be confused? Somebody brings some news; you will say, "Thank you. I will ponder over it, I will meditate over it. I don't believe anything, so there is no question of getting confused."


If confusion is used totally, your beliefs will disappear, it will clear the whole ground. And in that state of no belief, confusion becomes impossible. When confusion becomes impossible there arises a clarity, and that clarity is not of belief, not of scripture, not of belonging to a church, not of comfort, not of convenience, not produced by anybody. It is your own transparency of awareness. And through that clarity is truth.


You say, "I am totally confused." Sorry, I cannot agree with you. In fact, you are asking me to give you something so that you can drop your confusion and can become certain again. No, I am not your enemy. I will not give you any belief. I am ready to give myself, but I will not give you any belief. I am ready to partake with you my own experience, I am ready to share my being, but I will not give you any belief. I will not make you comfortable because this will be death. Your home has not yet arrived, and somebody makes you comfortable by the side of the road and gives you a tranquilizer, and you are dreaming, sleeping, and thinking this is your home and everything is beautiful -- no, I am not going to do that to you. That's what your priests and popes have been doing up to now.


I am going to shake you and shock you out of your tranquility, out of your certainty. I am to create a stir in you. I will come like a cyclone. I am to destroy your mind utterly. Only if you are ready for that destruction will creativity be born to you.


You say, "You tell us the paths are of will and surrender. The path of will is certainly not for me." How do you know? How have you become so certain that the path of will is not for you? Try first, be experimental. One learns through trial and error -- and there is no other way. Don't be A PRIORI: don't say from the very beginning, "This is not for me, and I am certain," otherwise you will again be confused. Some day you will find somebody who has attained through the path of will, and you will see the flowering and the fragrance of the person, and you will start feeling, "Maybe the path of will is for me too... this man has achieved." Your greed will arise. You will be again confused.


This is the way you create the possibility for confusion. Don't say, "The path of will is certainly not for me" -- because you have not tried yet. Try it. If you try the path of will nothing is going to be wrong. If you succeed, good. If you don't succeed, that too is good. Then you have known at least one thing: that this is not for you. That too is a great achievement: to know, "This door is not for me." Otherwise sometimes one goes on knocking on a wrong door.


Once a man came to me and he said, "Beloved Master, one dream constantly recurs, and it has become nightmarish, and I have come to you to help me out of this problem"
I said, "What is your dream?"


He said, "Since my childhood" -- now he is almost fifty -- "it comes again and again, almost once or twice a month. And it is such that I don't see any way out of it. The dream is simple: I am standing at a door, a very beautifully carved wooden door -- it must be of a palace -- and I knock, and my whole being says to somehow enter into this palace -- a great urge. But nobody answers. Then I start pushing the door, I do as much as I can. I start perspiring. The effort becomes hectic, and uncertainty arises in me that it is not going to open again, so again I have failed. some unconscious desire to enter, and the futility of it... and then I wake up, trembling, perspiring. My breathing is not natural -- disturbed. And then I cannot sleep for at least two hours. I think about it: why this dream?"


I asked the man, "Can you remember? Is there any sign on the door?"


He said, "Yes, there is a sign! But I never thought about it. How did you come to know there is a sign?"
"And what does it say?"


And the man closed his eyes and he started laughing. He said, "This is just incredible! The sign says: Pull. And I have been pushing!"


So I said, "Next time the dream comes, follow the sign."


After two, three months, he came and he said, "I am waiting and waiting and the dream is not coming."


I said, "It may not come, because the purpose is fulfilled. You have become alert, you have become aware of it."


Try the path of will; maybe it is for you, maybe it is not for you. I cannot say offhand that it is for you or that it is not for you -- because if I say and you believe me, you will be creating a possibility of confusion some day. Don't believe me. You try. What is wrong in it? Be a little more playful, it is a beautiful sport: try the path of will.


Why do you say, "Certainly it is not for me:? How can you be certain? This trick of becoming certain without knowing has to be dropped, completely dropped. Try. If you succeed, good. If you don't succeed, then too you have succeeded, because then the remaining thing is the path of surrender. If you fail on the path of will, then more hopefully, with more energy, with more totality, you can move on the path of surrender. If you don't try on the path of will, you may move on the path of surrender, but you will always remain suspicious as to whether this is your path or not.


So first thing: never decide without experimentation. Be scientific. Everything is a hypothesis; try it. It can be valid only by experience, it may prove invalid only by experience. There is no other way to decide. Let the decision come out of your existential experience. And then you say, "But surrender also does not seem to be perfect." But how can anything be perfect if you are not perfect? The surrender is going to be your surrender, not mine. The surrender is going to be yours, not Meera's or Mahavira's. The surrender is going to be yours, not Krishna's or Christ's. The surrender, of course, is bound to be of the same quality as you are.


The path of will or the path of surrender are not like superhighways where anybody can walk and the way remains the same. No, the way changes with the walker. You bring your quality. For example, if you see a Picasso painting... you can use the same brush, and the same colors, and the same canvas, but are you hoping that a Picasso will be born? The painting will be yours. The brush and the canvas may be Picasso's. You can even ask permission to paint in his studio, but then too the painting will be yours; it will not be a Picasso.


Exactly like that, when you move on any path, the path is not a collective possession. Each individual has to create his own path while walking on it.


Your surrender is going to be your surrender. It will be as perfect as you are. Don't expect more, otherwise, from the beginning, you are creating obstacles for your growth. And in fact, the path is perfect only when you have arrived, never before it. But then the path is not needed.


So everybody has to walk on an imperfect path, because everybody is imperfect. And why ask for perfection? Your demands are too much. You go to the chemist: you don't ask for a perfect medicine. You ask for the latest and the best, not for the perfect -- because the perfect never exists. Tomorrow a better medicine may come and this medicine will be discarded. Every month medicines are being discarded, new ones are being invented; but no medicine is perfect, and cannot be. Perfection means now there is no possibility to grow. Perfection means death. Perfection means now everything is finished, the full point has come.


Life is a process; it is not perfect. Nothing is perfect in life. Everything is imperfect. So the most you can ask is: "Which is the more perfect way" -- that's all; not THE perfect way, but the more perfect, comparatively. The path of will maybe is not so perfect for you as surrender, but if you are making an absolute demand that it be a hundred percent perfect, then from the very beginning you are too greedy. Move slowly. Your path is your path. The path will change you, and you will change the path -- and this is going to be a dynamic process, a dialectical process. You will change the path by your change, and then the path will change you, and you are both going to enrich each other. When Meera walks on the path of surrender, of course it is going to be more perfect than when you walk. When Mahavira walks on the path of will, it is going to be more perfect than when you walk.


And one thing more: we come to know only when Meera has arrived. Then the fragrance spreads. When Mahavira has reached, then the rumor spreads around the world that somebody has become enlightened. Then people rush. When they come to see, it is a perfect thing: Picasso has done his work, the painting is perfect. But you don't know: Mahavira had moved just like you -- wavering, in uncertainty, confusion, going astray, coming back, doing a thousand and one mistakes. But you don't know THAT Mahavira -- that Mahavira who was struggling in darkness, alone. Now Mahavira has arrived and has become a light; now everybody comes to see and pay his respects. But Mahavira had also moved the same way -- with the same limitations. When we know Buddha, Mahavira, Krishna, Zarathustra, they have become perfect souls, SIDDHAS. Then we know. We had not known their seeking stages.


Remember, you are not a siddha; otherwise what is the point in seeking? You have not yet arrived, you are arriving. Choose the best that is possible, don't hanker for the perfect. Otherwise you may never move. If you are waiting for the perfect airplane to come and then you will go, you may never go -- because they are being perfected every day. Don't wait for the perfect train. Whatsoever is available, choose the best. Be choosy. Think, meditate about it, find out the pros and cons, but don't wait for the perfect.


And start. In the beginning, great things are not going to happen. But... those great things can happen only if you being. To begin with, anything is okay. You start. Move. Your feet will be faltering, your body may not be adjusted. Just like when a small child starts walking; how many times does he fall? How many times does he again try, waver, then by and by become strong of foot? That's how one moves into the eternal, too.


One thing: this movement is not towards some outer goal. This movement is towards some inner goal which is, in essence, already there. So you ask me, "Now, what to do?" Only one thing do I say... and let me tell you one beautiful story. Listen to it very carefully. It is a story from Jorge Luis Borges, one of the most metaphysical writers of this age.

Episode of the Enemy


So many years on the run, expectant, and now the enemy stood at my door. From the window I saw him working his way up the hill. Laboring along the steep road, he leaned on a staff, a clumsy staff which in his hands was no more than an old man's cane, not a weapon. Although I was waiting for it, his knock was so weak, I barely made it out. At the door I fumbled with the key to let the man in. I feared he was going to collapse all at once, but he took a few faltering steps and stumbled, utterly worn out, onto my bed.


I bent over him so that he could hear me: "One believes that the years pass for one," I said to him, "but they pass for everyone else too. Here we meet, at last, face to face, and what happened before has no meaning now." While I spoke, he unbuttoned his overcoat. His right hand was in the pocket of his suit coat; something there was aimed at me, and I knew it was a revolver.


Then he told me, in an unwavering voice, "To get myself into your house I fell back on your pity. Now I have you at my mercy, and I am unforgiving." I tried to get out some words; I am not a strong man and only words could save me. I managed to utter, "It is true that a long time ago I ill-treated a certain boy, but you are no longer that boy, and I am no longer that callous brute. Besides, revenge is no less vain and ridiculous than forgiving."
"That's just it," he replied. "Because I am no longer that boy, I am about to kill you. This has nothing to do with revenge. This is an act of justice. Your arguments, Borges, are only strategems of your terror designed to keep me from my mission. There is nothing you can do now."
"There is one thing I can do," I said.
"What is that?" he asked.
"Wake up," I said.
And I did.


The whole life that you are acquainted with is nothing but a dream -- a nightmare, true. The enemy and the friend, both are parts of a dream; the surrender and the will, both are parts of the dream; theories, philosophies, dogmas, churches, are parts of the dream, the human dream. The only thing that has to be done is: please wake up. And nobody can make you awake... unless you decide. It is your decision. There is no need to hanker anymore for outer beliefs to cling to, because all beliefs are false. There is no need to seek a philosophy of life; life is enough. All philosophies are false, including my philosophy. When I say ALL, I mean all. Wake up! Please wake up! That's all that can be said.

The second question:
<p class="question">I WANT TO BECOME A SANNYASIN, BUT THERE ARE SO MANY HYPOCRITES HERE AMONGST YOUR SANNYASINS, AND THAT IS PREVENTING ME. WHAT SHOULD I DO?</p>


My answer is through a small anecdote.

"Why don't you attend church?" asked the village parson of the local innkeeper.
"I don't go," he replied frankly, "because there are so many hypocrites there."
"Please don't let that stop you," said the parson. "There's always room for one more."

The third question:
<p class="question">I HAVE DONE VERY MANY GROUPS, AND HAD MANY PERTINENT GROWTH EXPERIENCES IN WHICH I HAVE REALLY FELT THAT I HAD CHANGED AND GAINED TREMENDOUS NEW INSIGHT. BUT I STILL MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES, AND DESPITE EVERYTHING I HAVE DONE, STILL REPEAT THE PAST AS IF I HAVE NO CHOICE. WHAT TO DO? CAN CHANGE BE PERMANENT? OR IS THE WORK WE DO ON OURSELVES SIMPLY ILLUSION, SIGNIFYING NOTHING? CAN SANNYAS BE PERMANENT CHANGE?</p>


First: all efforts to improve yourself are bound to fail, because the one who is making the effort is the problem -- the ego. The ego is constantly making efforts to improve: have more money, have a bigger house, have a bigger car, have a more beautiful woman, or a husband; have this, have that. That is ego. You understand it.


But then the ego plays another game too: it says, "Become more peaceful, become more loving, attain to meditation, become a SIDDHA, be like a Buddha." This again is the same game in another direction. The same ego that was trying to decorate itself by outer things, now wants to try and decorate itself through inner things.


So the first thing: if YOU are trying to improve yourself, you are doomed to fail. Once you understand this -- that the ego is the problem, and it is the ego's greed that wants to improve and become this and that; the VERY idea of becoming is a projection of the ego -- then comes revolution. And that revolution is nothing that you have to do anything about, that revolution comes through understanding the ways of the ego. Once you have understood that it is the same ego that was after money, after power, prestige, politics -- the same ego is now playing inner games of meditation, enlightenment, and all that nonsense -- once you recognize it is the same ego, in that very recognition, a laughter arises in you. You start feeling the ridiculousness of it.


There is no improvement. I am not saying there is no mutation, but there is no improvement. Mutation is there, UTTER change is there, but no improvement. Improvement means a modified form: you remain the same with a few more plus things added to you -- a car, a big house, a woman. You remain the same; now a woman is attached to you, a car is attached to you... you remain the same. Now you have become a meditator -- you remain the same; now you have become a sannyasin -- but you remain the same; deep down you remain the same. And you go on accumulating things: qualities, characteristics, character, morality, virtue, knowledge. You go on, but deep down it is the same old trip. Nothing is new. This way, improvement is not possible.


Improvement is not possible at all. When you understand this -- this greed, this hankering to be somebody else, someone else more important, more significant, greater and greater; once you have understood that this is all ego playing -- in that moment of understanding, suddenly there is mutation, a jump, a quantum leap. You are no more the old, the new has entered.


And remember, the new is not connected with the old at all. That's why I don't say it is an improvement. The new is so absolutely new, so utterly new, that it has nothing to do with the old. The old man is completely gone. It is a totally new being, discontinuous with the past. With this gap, it cannot be called improvement.


Spirituality is not an achievement. It is not an ambitious trip.


You say, "I have done very many groups and had many pertinent growth experiences." Those growth experiences were not pertinent. They were just games of the ego. You felt good. The ego patted you and said, "Good boy; doing so good. You are going to improve. One day it is certain you are going to become a Buddha or a Christ. You are on the way, and going so beautifully." And you felt very good. Those experiences were not pertinent. Your ego used them. They became absolutely dangerous. Anything that the ego uses is immediately poisoned. You started feeling very happy: "So now it is happening!" You must have started waiting for SATORI, SAMADHI: "Now it is not very far away! Any moment...."


Your ego reduced all those experiences to toys: you started playing with them. And you must have started expecting them more and more. You have become virtuous, religious; now these things will be happening more and more. Remember, whenever you start asking, "This thing has been beautiful; I was delighted in it, and I would like to have it again," now you are trying to make a continuity.


The new can happen only when you are not. Now you will not leave yourself at all; you will always be sitting there. Even if you go through those same groups again, you will not be enriched, because you will be waiting: "Now this is going to happen." And when you wait nothing happens, because in your waiting you are there. Things happen unexpectedly. Things happen when you are not even waiting for them. God is seen sometimes only when you are not looking for Him, because when you are looking you are tense. God happens in such mundane and trivial moments that you could not have expected. Whenever you are expecting, you are there; and God cannot be there because YOU are there. When you are not expecting -- just swimming in a river, and the trees, and the birds, and the sunlight, and you are completely lost... and of course, nobody waits for God to happen in that moment -- suddenly He is there. You are doing nothing but playing with your cat, looking into the cat's eyes -- and of course, you are not waiting for something great to happen -- and suddenly those eyes of the cat change, and there is depth, and there is God. And suddenly you are overwhelmed.


God is always sudden, unexpected. When you are doing your PUJA, and ringing your small bell, and doing things like that, God never happens -- because you are so full of expectation. You are waiting and looking to the side: "Has He come or not?" A knock on the door, maybe just a postman, and you are so much excited: "Maybe God has come!" When you are waiting He never comes, because when you are waiting YOU are too much. He comes only when you are not.
"I have done very many groups, and had many pertinent growth experiences in which I have really felt that I had changed and gained tremendous new insight."
I, I, I... you see?
"But I still make the same mistakes, and despite everything I have done, still repeat the past as if I have no choice."
I, I, I....


You will make the same mistakes because it is the same I. You cannot hope that anything else is going to happen.


The I is a mechanism; it goes on doing the same thing, it has become very efficient in doing it. It is like a computer: it creates habits, and then it goes on repeating the same habits. Now please, stop any idea of growth. This is not the way. Forget about growth, because growth is in the future. Growth is already a postponement: tomorrow it is going to happen. Forget all about tomorrow; tomorrow never comes. Be here now. This moment is the only moment there is. Enjoy this moment in total absorption. Whatsoever you are doing, do it totally, be lost in it. What it is, I am not saying. If you are lost in it, it becomes worship, it becomes prayer.


Cleaning the floor can become a prayer; just doing ordinary things in your kitchen can become a prayer; digging a hole in the garden can become a prayer. There is no need to go to any temple. Only those go to the temple who don't know how to bring prayer to their lives. There is no need to go to a mosque or a GURUDWARA, because God is everywhere. Wherever you are totally absorbed, the door of the temple opens.
"Can change be permanent? Or is the work we do on ourselves simply illusion signifying nothing?"


That which you do is illusory, because you are an illusion. Out of you, only illusions are born. You cannot give birth to truth. YOU are temporal; out of you the timeless cannot be born. You have to give way, you have to put yourself aside. Only you are standing in your own way, nobody else. God is available; just don't stand in the way.
Are you listening?


Don't stand in the way of God, that's all. And then He is in the flower, and in the bird on the wing; then He is in the breeze passing through the trees. When you are not there to distort, you will find Him everywhere -- because He is everything. It is a miracle how we go on missing Him. But you are asking for something permanent. The ego can never be permanent; it is a momentary thing. And out of the ego, whatsoever you gain will be lost.
You are asking: Cannot a wave be made permanent?


The wave cannot be made permanent. The only way is to freeze it so it becomes ice. But then it is not a wave, it is just a piece of ice. Then it is no more a wave because it cannot wave. The aliveness is gone, the dynamism is gone. You fall in love with a woman and you want to make the love permanent? Then you are in danger; you are trying to make a wave permanent. You go to the court, and the court puts a seal on your marriage. Now it is a legal thing: love has disappeared. Now it is a contract, and ugly.


Love is the most beautiful thing in the world, and marriage, the most ugly, because law has entered into love. Why do you go to the court? Because you want to make love permanent: "Who knows? This woman may fall in love with somebody else tomorrow" -- now the court will protect. "Who knows? This man may escape" -- now the court will protect: you can drag him to the court. He cannot easily escape. What are you doing when you are marrying a woman or a man? You are asking society to protect, asking the law, the policeman, to protect. What kind of love is this in which a policeman is needed to protect you? This will be a sort of prison. Call it whatsoever you would like to call it, but it will be a bondage. You will be prisoners of each other, and this is how we destroy everything.


Ego is impermanent. If your love is out of the ego, it is impermanent. The mind is temporary, temporal. Mind, in fact, is time. Nothing can be permanent in the mind. If you want to look at the permanent -- 'permanent' is not the right word, 'eternal' is the right word -- then look deeper into the wave, and there is ocean. If you want to look to some eternal, look into love deeply and you will find God there. But you bring the policeman rather than searching for God.


When love is happening, don't hanker for permanency. Think and brood, meditate, contemplate... the eternal. Those moments are rare, love moments. Windows open easily, melting happens easily. You are dazed with something unknown. Don't bother about marriage right now. Right now go into those moments, waves, and find the ocean -- because wherever there is a wave, there is bound to be an ocean behind it. When the love-wave is there, the love-ocean must be behind it. That ocean of love is God.


So please don't seek the permanent, otherwise you will always be frustrated. Because the one who is seeking permanence is impermanent himself. You have chosen a wrong medium: the mind, the ego. Look into your own being.
"Can sannyas be a permanent change?" Again you go on using a very dirty word,'permanent'. Sannyas is both the wave and the ocean; it depends on you. If you simply see the wave, it is impermanent. If you look deep into it and you can find the ocean, it is eternal. The eternal is not permanent, the eternal is beyond time.'Permanent' means staying longer in time; but what does it matter whether you are a sannyasin for one day or one year or one thousands years -- what does it matter? The impermanent is impermanent -- one day, one year, one thousand years.


Seek something which is beyond time. Then once it is there you know: it has always been there, and it will be always there. The eternal is your innermost nature, SWABHAVA. It is your innermost being.


Whatsoever you are seeking, it should not be out of greed and out of ambition. It should not be a desire to repeat. Forget the past. As it disappears, let it disappear and don't think of the morrow. As it has not come yet, why bother? When it comes, we will be here to look into it. And whatsoever has happened yesterday, don't ask for it again today -- because it may have happened yesterday because you were not waiting for it; today you are waiting for it.


It happens every day in meditation. Somebody comes to an inner space and is thrilled, and the desire to repeat arises. Then next day it is not there, then he feels very frustrated. Then next day he is even more deep into his depression, because it is not coming. And he comes to me and says, "It was better before. At least I had not known it. But now I know it, it is there, and now I am suffering. Why can't I have it again and again?" You cannot have it again and again because it is the very nature of God to happen unexpectedly. He is a guest who comes without informing you.


The Hindu word for guest is ATITHI: it means one who comes without giving you any date beforehand. TITHI means date, ATITHI means one who comes without informing you at all.


God is a guest. When He comes, feel thankful. When He does not come, feel thankful. It must be in your favor that He is not needed today, that you need a gap, that you need a plateau... so things that have happened yesterday become settled.


A highly irascible employer was much given to uttering tirades of abuse to his long-suffering staff. One young girl stood it for so long, but when her virtue was questioned, she had had enough, and walked tight-lipped straight out of the office.


The following morning, she marched into the tyrannical boss's office and thrust a piece of paper under his nose. "This is from my family doctor," she said firmly, "and it certifies that I am pure and untouched."


He glanced at it and thrust it back at her. "This is no good," he snarled. "It is dated yesterday."


Yes, the yesterday is yesterday; gone is gone. Who knows? You may have changed. But all character is of yesterday, all virtue is of yesterday. When you call somebody a saint, what do you mean? You say, "His yesterdays were very saintly." But they are dated yesterday. He may have committed a sin last night. You call somebody a sinner, but that is not right; those are all yesterdays. Yes, he may have committed sins, but last night he may have prayed, he may have meditated, and he may have had a glimpse. So don't call anybody a saint, because a saint belongs to the past; and don't call anybody a sinner, because a sinner is of the past -- and life and being is always free of the past.


Being is of the present. And when you want something to be repeated, again you are simply desiring for the past to be repeated. What is the point? You have known it. Don't you want to know something higher, something greater? Remain available. That is one of my fundamental teachings: Don't desire, remain available. Wait on God and let Him do things.

The fourth question:
<p class="question">ARE WE NOT HERE TO HELP AND SERVE OTHERS IN THE WORLD?</p>


My answer is an anecdote.


I have heard about a little boy whose mother was lecturing him about selfishness. "You know, darling," she pointed out, "we are in this world to help others."


The little boy considered this for several seconds, then he asked with a great deal of seriousness, "Well then, what are the others here for?"


You first please look at yourself. Don't try to become a do-gooder. These are dangerous people. In the name of doing good, they simply try to interfere with other people's lives.


Who are you to help others? You have not even helped yourself yet. Physician, first heal thyself.


It happens many times around me: you listen to me, your mind becomes more and more informed, you start gathering knowledge, and then suddenly the desire arises to help others. What you really want is just to pour your rubbish into their heads. You want to initiate people now. You want to help people to become spiritual. Please, unless you have known what I am saying, don't try to convey it to others, because it will be a distorted form. And lies are better than half-truths; at least somebody can come to know that this is a lie and will drop it. A half-truth is very dangerous. He will never be able to detect that it is a lie because that half-truth will prevent him, and he will never be able to drop it, and he will become cluttered with it.


For four years the little old lady had owned the parrot, and for four long years she had fruitlessly tried to get it to talk. She had tried everything: repeating little phrases endlessly, buying bells, mirrors, and the very best food. Now she was at last at her wits' end. In desperation she turned to the parrot and screamed, "For God's sake, why won't you talk!"


The parrot regarded her with a beady eye. "To tell you the truth," it said suddenly, "I have always felt that it was not a good thing to go around repeating things one hears."
At least be as wise as that.

The last question:
<p class="question">HOW, JUST IN THE PRESENCE OF A MASTER, CAN THE INNER TRANSFORMATION HAPPEN? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE?</p>


It is like infection, spiritual infection, healthy infection. Just as illness can be caught, so can "wellness" also be caught. Just as illness has its own vibration, a certain wavelength, so has wellness a certain vibration, its own wavelength. When you are near a spiritual person, you start vibrating in a new way. His very presence plays on the guitar of your soul. His very presence starts creating a sweetness in you.


Presence is not just "mere", as you ask. Presence is very vital. The very environment of a spiritual person is dangerous. It can transfigure you completely. It is like a fellow said on a crowded bus, "I am so full of penicillin, if I should sneeze here in this crowd, I am sure I would cure somebody."


If you are not really in search of being cured, avoid spiritual people, and avoid Masters. Their presence is dangerous, because it can become a taste in you, and a taste is the beginning of a transformation.
		

> [!info]
> Copyright 1964-1990 Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh)
>