---
section: Library
booktitle: "I Am Not As Thunk As You Drink I Am"
booktype: "Diaries"
bookcode: "THUNK"
dategiven: "27 October 1980 pm"
place: " in Chuang Tzu Auditorium"
chapternum: "Chapter #27"
chaptertitle: "None"
acode: "8010275"
shorttitle: "THUNK27"
audio: "No"
video: "No"
esttime: ""
displaytitle: "I Am Not As Thunk As You Drink I Am: Chapter #27"
---

```style
.sutra {
  font-style: italic;
  white-space: pre-wrap !important;
}
```
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> [!info]
> Note
>
[NOTE: This is an unedited tape transcript of an unpublished darshan diary, which has been scanned and cleaned up. It is for reference purposes only.]


(Whether man lives in the dark or enlightenment is his choice, Osho says first off tonight.)


If people are miserable that is their choice and responsibility. If they really want to change they can change it instantly. They go on saying that they want to change but they still cling to misery, hence their talk remains impotent. They are simply deceiving themselves by their own words.


This is the first thing a sannyasin has to understand, that we are born in freedom and we create ourselves by our acts and choices. There is no fate; we make it. Hence except for ourselves nobody is responsible. Once it is understood things become very easy. Then it is up to you; nobody can prevent you from being blissful.


Darkness represents unconsciousness, light represents consciousness. In darkness there is misery; in light there is bliss -- and meditation is the key to change darkness into light.

(And wisdom is the experiencing of that light.)


Wisdom is not the accumulation of facts, figures, information -- it is a transformation.


We are living outside ourselves, hence our inner world remains dark. If we turn in, if our attention starts focussing inside, then light is created. We have everything that is needed to create light, just a rearrangement is needed.


It is as if your room is messed up by somebody -- the furniture is upside-down, the chandelier is on the floor. Everything is there but not in its place. It will be difficult to live in such a room. You will have to put things back exactly where they belong.


This is how man is: he has everything that is needed, god has provided everything. We come absolutely ready to live our lives to the optimum, but we live at the minimum for the simple reason that we never arrange things. For example, our attention is extrovert, hence we can see everybody except ourselves -- and that is the most important thing to see. It is perfectly good to see others but first you have to see yourself, first you have to be yourself. From that vantage point, from that centred state, you can look at others and that will give you a totally different quality.


So the attention has to be turned inwards. That's what sannyas is all about a hundred-and-eighty-degree turn of our attentiveness, of our awareness. And wherever we focus our awareness that space becomes lit up. I am not against the outside world but the inside world is the first to be taken care of, then the outside world has a secondary place. And the person who can take care of his inner world is easily capable of taking care of the outside world. Wisdom means knowing oneself, and to know oneself is the beginning of all other knowing. Then the circle of your light can go on spreading; it can become more and more comprehensive. A moment comes when your wisdom comprehends everything, it becomes all-inclusive. That is the moment of enlightenment -- when one feels nothing is missing, nothing is lacking. One has come home, there is great relaxation, rest, fulfilment, deep contentment; there is a silence, yet it is full of songs.


(Wisdom is knowing yourself, Osho reiterates to Satyam Gyanam, and reminds him that that knowing doesn't happen through books.)


Books contain every kind of information. The Bible, the Koran, the Gita -- they have beautiful statements. Those statements are made by people who know the truth. But the problem with truth is that the moment you say it it becomes untrue. It remains truth only when it is unexpressed; express it and you have falsified it. But there is no other way to convey it. Hence all the enlightened people have passed through a very strange experience: they cannot remain silent because now they know something which they would like to share, but when they try to share they find that it is not the same when you say it; it is something else. The real thing is left behind, only the word reaches the other person.


So there have been three kinds of enlightened people in the world. One kind decided to remain silent, so the world knows nothing about them because they never spoke. The second kind decided to convey it, knowing perfectly well that whatsoever you say misses the point. But they thought something was better than nothing -- even if it only triggers a process of enquiry in the listeners that's more than one can hope for. But they have not mentioned that truth is inexpressible, for the simple reason that if they say it is inexpressible then immediately the question will be asked 'Then what are you saying? Then what are you expressing? If it is not true then why do you go on saying it? Either it is true or it is not true. If it is not true don't say it; if it is true only then is it worth saying.' So they have not mentioned that they are doing something which is not possible. That is the second category of enlightened people.


And the third category is the most paradoxical -- it consists of people like Lao Tzu, Buddha. They speak and simultaneously they also say that it is not sayable. Hence Lao Tzu has not been able to find many followers, because he looks a little crazy: he goes on saying things and at the same time he goes on saying that nothing can be said. He defines truth and says it is indefinable. He starts his Tao Te Ching... that is the Bible of the Taoists. The first sentence is 'To say the truth is to falsify it, the truth cannot be said.' This is the beginning of the book. And then he goes on saying everything about truth. Now who will listen to such a crazy man?


Mohammed does not mention that truth is inexpressible at all, Jesus does not mention it at all. they belong to the second category. But because they don't mention that truth cannot be said their ideas have been reduced to dogma, and doctrines and churches.


Lao Tzu's ideas cannot be made into a dogma, his philosophy cannot be reduced to a creed. He has put enough dynamite in it; that dynamite will destroy all structures that are created around it. It is self-sabotage; he has made every effort to sabotage himself. But the third category of the enlightened people is the most honest and sincere. Of course they have to be very paradoxical and contradictory, almost illogical and crazy. Lao Tzu has been thought to be a madman.


His disciple Chuang Tzu went even further. Nobody has surpassed Chuang Tzu in craziness; he is the craziest Buddha that has ever walked on the earth. That's why I call this place (Osho indicates the auditorium with a circular movement of his fore finger) Chuang Tzu Auditorium, I love this man!


My own approach is the same: every day I go on saying what truth is, and every day I have to deny whatsoever I have said. So those who are going to be with me have to become accustomed to my self-contradictions, my paradoxicalness, my craziness.


To be my sannyasin means to be in the hands of a crazy man. But what can I do if you choose this way? -- it is your freedom!


It's not so important whether one is just a rather ordinary sort of flower or something more exotic, the essential thing is that one has blossomed, Osho points out to Anand Nurit.


Hence the most ordinary grass flower enjoys the same sun, the same wind, the same rain, the same stars as the most loved flower, the lotus. There is no difference in nature. So there is no question of being small or big, rich or poor, educated or uneducated, black or white, beautiful or not beautiful, man or woman -- nothing matters. All that matters is flowering. The moment a flower opens its petals it enjoys the same bliss as the most beautiful lotus or the rose.


Gautam Buddha may be the son of a great king and you may be very poor, but it makes no difference. He may have lived in great palaces, you may be living in a hut -- it makes no difference. As far as inner growth is concerned god is available to everybody equally; god is a communist. And in fact only people who know god can be true communists, because they understand the essential equality; then even the smallest is equal to the biggest.


One of the most precious sayings of Gurdjieff is that there is an experience where the part is equal to the whole. Logically it is absurd; as far as logic or arithmetic is concerned the part cannot be equal to the whole. How can the part be equal to the whole? The part is small, it is bound to be small, it cannot be equal to the whole. The whole consists of many parts and this is only one part. But Gurdjieff is right: there is an experience of absolute silence, of tremendous understanding, of awareness, where the part is equal to the whole; there is no difference at all.


Remember it: nobody is born privileged, everybody is born equal. And as far as ultimate truth and the ecstasy that follows its realization is concerned, all are equal. In talents people are different. Somebody is a poet, somebody is a painter, somebody is a mathematician, somebody is a scientist. The mathematician cannot be a poet, the poet cannot be a scientist, the scientist cannot be a painter; they have different talents. In talents people are different, there is variety, but as far as their innermost being is concerned there is no difference at all. All are equal, with the same possibility, the same potential for opening up.


So even a small grass flower has the same value as the greatest lotus. Remember it: the universe is absolutely impartial. It does not give more to some and less to some; it showers on all equally. Then it is up to you whether you allow it to penetrate your being or not.


(The meaning of Prem Denis's name, love and god of wine, just about sums up sannyas, Osho tells the newest addition to the party.)


In Greek mythology there is a god, Dionysius, the god of wine. In that sense Greek mythology is the only mythology which has a special god for wine.


Christianity destroyed that whole idea. There were temples of Dionysius and there were festivals, particularly in Springtime when flowers bloom and nature suddenly becomes joyous, and bursts forth into celebration where Dionysius was worshipped. And his worship consisted of only two things, singing and dancing. People gathered, they danced, they sang. They abandoned their egos completely, they got utterly lost in their singing and dancing. In fact it had nothing to do with the outer wine, it was essentially to create an inner drunkenness.


If you dance totally, forgetting yourself, dropping your self-consciousness, a certain subtle drunkenness arises in you. And it is very paradoxical: on the one hand you are drunk, on the other hand you are fully aware.


My effort here is to revive Dionysius, so my whole method consists of singing, dancing, rejoicing. My sannyasins have to be rejoicers and love has to be the wine, because if you love you can dance, if you love you can Ying, if you love you can create. Love releases all kinds of creativities in you. Love helps you to grow grapes in your inner world.
So you have come to the right place, Denis!


(As Susana sits in front of Osho listening to the explanation of her new name, Anand Archano, her eyes close and her head slowly falls back. Moments later a tear plops off her cheek onto her lap.)


I know only one prayer and that is being blissful. Nothing has to be said to god, one has simply to be blissful and all is said through one's bliss. People can pray but if they are sad, miserable, their prayer is only words, empty words with no content. If one is blissful then words are not needed at all; one can simply dance and sing or just sit silently, joyously -- and that's enough. That gratitude reaches to the ultimate source of light.


So that is going to be your prayers no words but a silent joy pervading your whole being.      -- How long will you be here?      -- Forever.      -- That's right -- that's what I was afraid of! (laughter) Good!

(Real knowing, or truth, is beyond all books -- even Bibles, Osho repeats.)


Hence the seeker of truth has to leave behind all that he knows, all knowledge as such, because it consists only of theories, assumptions, beliefs, inferences, hypotheses, philosophies. It consists of all that is borrowed from others, and you cannot know truth unless you are totally free from all that has been taken from others. That is a hindrance. It does not allow you innocence, it does not allow you clarity, perceptiveness, transparency.


So put aside all that is borrowed, be utterly nude, naked like a small child, knowing nothing. From that point the real journey begins. Wisdom is not far away from a state of not-knowing; in fact half the journey is already complete. The negative part you have already done, you have removed all the rocks. Now you can wait, and spring will start flowing. It was hindered, now there is no hindrance it will start flowing.


Man can do only the negative part, the positive happens of its own accord. You put aside knowledge and wisdom wells up.


(In his address to Zeno, Osho puts right a popular misconception about the nature of meditation.)


Ordinarily whenever people think of meditation they think of making a great effort, they think it is arduous, they think it is an uphill task. Real meditation is just the opposite of that. It is a let-go; it is not an uphill task, it is a total let-go. It is surrender, not fight; it is not effort but effortlessness.


Real meditation means learning to sit silently doing nothing, relaxing in doing nothing, resting in one's own being doing nothing -- because doing means we have moved from the centre, doing means mind has come in, body has come in. Either you have started thinking and desiring or you have started acting.


These are the three concentric circles around our being. The first circle closest to our being is that of feeling. Even when you feel something you have moved away from being. The second, which is even farther from being, is of thinking; when you think, you have moved even farther, farther than feeling. And the third circle is of activities; when you start doing something you have gone very far away, the farthest possible.


The meditator slowly moves inwards. First he leaves activities. That's why sitting silently in a certain restful posture became important. The statues of Buddha depict him sitting in a certain posture -- that posture is called the lotus posture. It is the most restful position for the body, scientifically too. When the spine is exactly erect, making a ninety-degree angle with the earth, the body is in the most relaxed position because gravitation affects your body the least in that posture. If you are leaning forwards, backwards or sideways, then more of your body is pulled by gravitation. When you are just erect the least effect of gravitation is on the body, hence it is the least tiring.


In walking you get tired because you are going against gravitation, you are fighting; when you are walking you are fighting against gravitation. It is a fight. The earth is pulling you downwards and you are raising your legs up -- that means you are fighting. In running you get even more tired and more quickly for the simple reason that running is a greater fight. Sitting became the posture Or meditators, particularly the lotus posture when the spine is absolutely erect and. the legs are crossed. For Westerners it is a little difficult because for centuries they have never used the lotus posture; they have completely forgotten it. In the East it is a very common phenomenon: people sit on the earth without knowing they are sitting in a lotus posture -- or something very close to it.


When your legs are crossed and your hands are also resting on your legs and touching each other, it is now a well-known scientific fact that your body electricity starts moving in a circle. In this posture the circle is not broken anywhere. The electricity is released from your fingertips or from your toes. When both legs are resting on each other and both hands are resting on each other the electricity starts moving in a circle. It is not released from the body, it becomes an inner circuit, hence it preserves energy. And as your electricity starts moving in a circle you become the centre of the circle.
Your consciousness simply rests in the middle of it.


So the body has to be in a non-active posture, then it is easy to stop the thought process. And the way is just to watch the thoughts without any evaluation or judgement. That's the whole strategy of getting out of thoughts: don't condemn, don't judge, just remain an indifferent watcher.


The word Buddha uses for it is 'upeksha': absolute indifference, unconcern. Let the thoughts pass, they have nothing to do with you and remain unaffected. The more unaffected you are, the less they will come. When your unaffectedness is absolute the mind disappears. And with the disappearance of the mind now there is only one more circle left, that of feeling.


Feelings are more subtle, hence they can be only tackled last. The body is the most gross; the mind is just between feeling and body -- a little subtle but a little gross also. Feelings are the most subtle.. They come like a whisper, like a little breeze: if you are not very alert you will not be able to feel them. There are just subtle changes of mood. You were feeling very good and a slight change and you are not feeling so good; a little anger has arisen or a little sadness has come in. And they are continuously changing.


After watching your mind you become capable of watching those very subtle nuances of feeling. The strategy remains the same, the method is the same, it just becomes a little more subtle. Just go on watching, unaffected, and one day feelings also disappear. The body is sitting there like a Buddha statue and you are just resting in your being.


This state is Zeno, meditation. And to be in it is the greatest experience of life. Once you have known it you can again start moving into the world using the body, the mind, the feelings, but now you are the master. Now you can use all those three circles very easily but you are not identified with them.


So this process is only till one has experienced absolute silence, cent ring, grounding. Once it has been experienced then there is no need to have a separate time for meditation; then whatsoever you are doing is meditation. Then for twenty-four hours a day there is a kind of meditativeness, because one remains centred and yet one goes on doing all kinds of things.


Thoughts come and the watchfulness is there, the body functions and the watchfulness is there, and any moment you can go in, any moment you can slip out. This is mastery. And a man who is capable of it is the real conqueror -- others are just slaves.
			

> [!info]
> Copyright 1964-1990 Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh)
>