---
section: Library
booktitle: "Going All the Way"
booktype: "Diaries"
bookcode: "ALLWAY"
dategiven: "19 November 1980 pm"
place: " in Chuang Tzu Auditorium"
chapternum: "Chapter #19"
chaptertitle: "None"
acode: "8011195"
shorttitle: "ALLWAY19"
audio: "No"
video: "No"
esttime: ""
displaytitle: "Going All the Way: Chapter #19"
---

```style
.sutra {
  font-style: italic;
  white-space: pre-wrap !important;
}
```
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> [!info]
> Note
>
[NOTE: This is an unedited tape transcript of an unpublished darshan diary, which has been scanned and cleaned up. It is for reference purposes only.]
<p class="sutra">GIVE GRABLESSLY</p>


Man's misery consists in his incapacity to give love. He asks for love but he is not willing to give; he demands, but he has completely forgotten that unless you give you cannot get. Giving comes first and then getting is inevitable, it happens of its own accord. And when love comes without your asking, it brings happiness. When you ask in the first place it cannot come. If it comes it will be false, pseudo, hence it will not bring happiness. The flowers will not be real and they will not have any fragrance.


This is something very fundamental for every sannyasin to understand: give and forget about getting it back. It comes back, it comes back a thousandfold, it starts showering on you. That's the very nature of existence: whatsoever we give to it comes back to us, aud nature is not miserly. But if you have any conditions then you create the barrier. Any demand and you have broken the bridge. Love has to be given without any desire for getting and then bliss is yours.
<p class="sutra">ROOTIN' FOR YOURSELF</p>


(Sannyas is a rebellion that turns you totally inside out.)


The greatest spiritual phenomenon is rebellion. Remember the distinction between revolution and rebellion: revolution is political, social, extrovert; rebellion is inner, individual, spiritual. Revolution is bound to be superficial; it cannot go deep because its whole concern is to change the structure. The structure consists of the circumference of things, it is not the centre, it is not the root. Revolution is like pruning the branches and the leaves; the leaves will come up again, in fact the foliage will become thicker by pruning. That's why every revolution has failed.


And in the wake of every revolution something absolutely against the revolution has settled. It happened in the French revolution, it happened in the Russian revolution, it happened in the Chinese. It has been man's whole history. Every revolution becomes anti-revolutionary finally, it starts destroying itself because it never touches the roots.


Rebellion cuts the roots and then the leaves wither away of their own accord. Not the structure but man's consciousness has to be changed, not his behaviour but his being has to be changed. That is rebellion.
Sannyas is pure rebellion.
<p class="sutra">HAVE A GOOD LOOK -- AND LOOK GOOD</p>


(Insight and beauty are by-products of meditation, Osho tells Dhyan Michiko.)


Meditation brings both. On one hand it brings tremendous beauty to your being because it brings the spring to your soul. Thousands of flowers suddenly burst into explosion. And on the other hand it brings a great insight into things -- that is wisdom. Wisdom is not knowledge, wisdom is clarity, the capacity to see things as they are.


Your name precisely defines the whole process of sannyas. Begin in meditation, and beauty and wisdom will be the outcome of it. In following the path of meditation one becomes beautiful and wise. And to be beautiful and wise is more than one can ask for.

(The ability to be alone and love it is part of the bargain too.)


Meditation is the art of being alone, absolutely alone, forgetting the whole world and its concerns, its worries, its tensions as if it does not exist any more. When you come to that space inside you when only you are and nothing else exists, that is aloneness. But remember, it is not loneliness. You are not lonely, you are with yourself. It is not negative, you are not missing anything; in fact for the first time you are with yourself, for the first time you are not lonely. Aloneness is just the opposite of loneliness.


Ordinarily people are lonely even when they are in a crowd. You can see in the trains, in the clubs in the hotels, on the streets, thousands of people rushing hither and thither and all look lonely. You can see in their eyes that they are all searching for 'something' and there is frustration, they are not finding it.


Even while they are with friends they are lonely, somehow trying to befool themselves that they are not lonely. But how long can you befool yourself? Sooner or later you have to recognise it, the truth cannot be ignored for long. Even lovers are lonely. Maybe in the days when you begin a new love affair you can befool yourself and the other, you can both conspire in befooling each other -- that is what is called the honeymoon. It is a conspiracy. Two person have agreed to befool each other; it is a contract. But for how long? -- one week, two weeks, three weeks at the most. If you are American then one week, if you are British then three weeks! (laughter) If you are an Indian then it can remain for your whole life because in fact in India the honeymoon never begins. It is just a marriage, no honeymoon. Indians have been so afraid that sooner or later the honeymoon will be finished, that they never begin it, it is better not to begin it They never go on a honeymoon, they simply start it businesslike, because that's how it has to become sooner or later. It is better from the very beginning to know that it is just hell and nothing else. Those three weeks of being in heaven will make it look even worse than it is, because compared with those flights of fantasy, coming back to the earth will look as if you have failed, you have missed.


So Indians have completely eradicated the idea of a honeymoon. Marriage starts in a businesslike way, it is not a love affair. The lovers are not really lovers at all; the parents decide, the astrologers decide, the society decides. They begin in a business-like way, everything is considered except their hearts. Then it can remain for your whole life, but it is ugly.


Whether American style, British or Indian, it makes no difference; people are lonely, very lonely. They are surrounded by the family and the children and everything but still something deep down is empty.


One tries to forget it through alcohol and through many other things, but they are all in a way alcoholic. Anything that can help you to forget yourself and your loneliness, sitting in a movie, looking at the TV, going to see a volleyball match... Somehow trying to forget it all. But for how long can you forget, for how long can you watch TV? Yes, people are watching TV for five or six hours, glued to their chairs. But sooner or later you have to come back to yourself and again the same emptiness welcomes you, the same loneliness.


People are lonely in crowds, lonely in their relationship. But meditation makes a miracle happen: you are alone and not lonely. For the first time you are with yourself and enjoying it, rejoicing in it.


The moment you start rejoicing in your aloneness it becomes wisdom. Then you are no more dependent on anybody; you have found the source of bliss within yourself -- that is wisdom. Now you have immense freedom, now you can be anywhere, even in hell, and you will be blissful.


It has been said that the blissful people go to heaven -- that is absolutely wrong. I say to you wherever blissful people go there is heaven. It is not certain that they go to heaven but wherever they go it is heaven. And wherever the miserable people go it is hell. Looking at the faces of your so-called saints I can predict that wherever they are they must be in hell. Their faces are so miserable, so Christian, so Hindu, not human at all, inhuman. They cannot enjoy any thing.


Just the other day I read a statement by the Polack pope that sex is good... as long as you don't enjoy it(laughter). This is beautiful! (much laughter)
<p class="sutra">HIS COMMANDMENT, OUR CRIME</p>


(We might end up in a situation like that of Jesus, Osho warns us tonight. Society couldn't forgive Jesus for his joy.)


Jesus said again and again to his disciples to rejoice. That was his sin. All other things are rationalisations -- that he was trying to prove himself the messiah, the Christ and he was not. These are just rationalisations trying to hide the real fact. The real fact was that he was a blissful person and he was making his bliss infectious, and the establishment became afraid, scared.


So if one wants to be blissful... And by being my sannyasin you have to be blissful, that's the only should. There is only one commandment: Be blissful and forget all the other nine. Even if you have to break the other nine it is perfectly okay but be blissful.


And certainly a strong spirit is needed. So remember your name, Peter, be rocklike. You will have to fight the whole miserable lot that is around you. But one thing is good about bliss, that it is really powerful, if you decide to be blissful the whole world of misery cannot destroy your bliss.
It can kill you (much laughter)... but it cannot destroy your bliss.


(Perhaps the expression on the sannyasin's face is somewhat apprehensive. Osho chuckles and reassures him.)
-- Don't worry!


It won't kill you first, it will kill me first. Your number will come much much later... maybe it will not come at all because I have two hundred thousand sannyasins. But you are all going to be caught -- that's the reason for the orange. Jesus' disciples escaped at the right moment; my disciples cannot escape -- I have made every arrangement so that you will be caught!
<p class="sutra">ARRIVING IS WHEN YOU'VE STOPPED WANTING TO</p>


The first great meditator in the world, Patanjali, defined meditation as a state of thoughtless awareness. But it can exist in two ways. It can be thoughtless yet there may be hidden seeds out of which new thoughts can arise... it can be seedless, then there will be no question of thoughts ever arising. The first of meditation Patanjali calls sabij, with seeds. The second he calls nirbij without seeds. It is possible to get rid of thoughts very easily, but to get rid of the seeds is far more difficult because they are very subtle, they are yet unmanifest.


But once you have got rid of thoughts you become capable of seeing in your own depth, if there are any seeds, any eggs, if there is any desire left.


Even the desire to attain to god is a seeds even the desire to be blissful is a seeds even the desire for truth is a seed.


So first the meditator has to get rid of the whole jumble and junk of thoughts and then he has to search for seeds, possible seeds, and then he has to uproot those seeds too.


The first step is to become thoughtless, the second step is to become desireless, and in these two steps the whole journey is complete. When there are no thoughts and no desires one has arrived, one has found the home -- and we are all searching for it.
<p class="sutra">MIND V. CONSCIOUSNESS: IT NEEDS NOT A JUDGE BUT A WITNESS</p>


(Osho is addressing Swami Nirvikalpo. His name means a state of choiceless awareness -- which defines exactly what meditation is.)


Meditation is a simple method. Your mind is like a TV screen. Memories are passing, images are passing, thoughts, desires, a thousand and one things are passing; it is always rush hour. And the road is almost like an Indian road -- no traffic rules, everybody, is going in every direction. One has to watch it without any evaluation, without any judgement without any choice, simply watching unconcerned as if it has nothing to do with you, you are just a witness. That is choiceless awareness.


If you choose, if you say 'This thought is good -- let me have it', or 'It is a beautiful desire, a beautiful dream, I should enjoy it a little more, I can go into it a little deeper'... if you choose you lose your witnessing. If you say 'This is bad, this is immoral, this is a sin, I should throw it out,' you start struggling, again you lose your witnessing.


You can lose your witnessing in two ways; either being for or against. And the whole secret of meditation is to be neither for nor to be against, but unconcerned, cool, without any preference, likes, dislikes, without any choice. If you can manage even a few moments of that witnessing one will be surprised how much bliss happens, how ecstatic one becomes.


In the beginning there are only a few moments, then those moments become bigger. And as you become a true witness, without any choice, in that moment the whole traffic disappears. Suddenly the TV screen just a white screen, there are no pictures at all. And to see your mind as utterly empty is the greatest experience in life because it turns your consciousness inwards. There is nothing to see there, so the consciousness takes a turn, a one-hundred-and-eighty degree turn, an about-turn. And in that turning you encounter yourself. That is selfknowledge, and to know oneself is to know all. You have found the door to the divine.
<p class="sutra">MIND IS MOVEMENT</p>


(Or immobilisation is god-realisation. Osho is talking to Swami Sambhava.)


Sambhava means looking at things with equanimity, equilibrium, remaining in a total balance. Success comes, failure comes, and you remain equally the same, for you there is no difference -- that is Sambhava.


And things are happening every moment, a child is born to you and a parent dies, one day you are rich, another day you are poor, one day you are famous, another day you become just a nobody. To remain balanced in all possible situations, that is sambhava and that is the secret of sannyas.


A sannyasin is one who lives in equilibrium. For him everything is the same; life and death are both the same, youth and old age are both the same, day and night, summer, winter -- everything. He takes everything playfully, without any seriousness. Just visualise that and you will see that that is the very key. Then you are always in a state of tremendous silence. Nothing can shake you up, nothing can disturb you, nothing can distract you from your centre -- you are centred, grounded. That centering is sannyas.


So that has to be your work upon yourself. Slowly slowly let the pendulum not move far away between extremes, let it swing less and less and less and less, so a moment comes when it settles exactly in the middle. The moment the pendulum settles in the middle the clock stops. The same is true about the mind: the moment you settle in sambhava the mind stops. Mind is time, mind is a clock -- it keeps you moving like a pendulum. Unless you move like a pendulum it cannot work.


So from this very moment start working. Swing less and less so that one day that great moment comes to your life when all movement disappears. You are suddenly there and nothing, nothing at all, can shake you from your centre -- that day is the day of enlightenment.
<p class="sutra">UPSTREAM STRUGGLE OR DOWNSTREAM DANCE</p>


(Sannyas is opting for the latter.)


The ego is very resistant, it is always in a search to fight with existence. It can survive only through fighting. The moment you drop the fight the ego dies, fighting is its nourishment; hence the ego is very much against surrender. It is ready to go to any length to fight, to suffer, to be miserable, but it is not ready to surrender. And by fighting with existence you are not going to gain anything; you will go on losing. How can one fight with existence? -- we are part of it. The part cannot fight with the whole. And if it fights it cannot hope to win -- that much is certain. There is no possibility of winning, one is bound to lose, and then there is frustration and misery and constant fear because it is a losing battle.


The sannyasin is one who seeing it surrenders the ego. He says to existence 'I am no more, you are.' He stops going upstream, he starts flowing with the stream wherever it is going. He drops all his individual goals, he simply becomes one with the whole and starts taking the destiny of the whole as his destiny too. Now there is no question of defeat, now all the way there is victory. And when there is victory every moment one is certainly in a state of ecstasy, constant ecstasy.
			

> [!info]
> Copyright 1964-1990 Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh)
>