---
section: Library
booktitle: "I Am Not As Thunk As You Drink I Am"
booktype: "Diaries"
bookcode: "THUNK"
dategiven: "11 October 1980 pm"
place: " in Chuang Tzu Auditorium"
chapternum: "Chapter #11"
chaptertitle: "None"
acode: "8010115"
shorttitle: "THUNK11"
audio: "No"
video: "No"
esttime: ""
displaytitle: "I Am Not As Thunk As You Drink I Am: Chapter #11"
---

```style
.sutra {
  font-style: italic;
  white-space: pre-wrap !important;
}
```
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> [!info]
> Note
>
[NOTE: This is an unedited tape transcript of an unpublished darshan diary, which has been scanned and cleaned up. It is for reference purposes only.]


(Ingo is the first for initiation tonight.)


This is your name: Swami Anand Ingo. Anand means bliss, cheerfulness, joy, the state of celebration. Ingo means luminous.


Misery creates darkness. Bliss brings luminosity, light. These are simple facts. We may not know about bliss but we certainly know about misery; everybody has known misery in some way or other. The moment there is misery you are surrounded by dark clouds; life loses all meaning, all significance. One feels suicidal. The future seems absurd, there seems to be no reason to live even for a single moment any more and once becomes closed, one starts shrinking inwards, one does not want to relate, to communicate. One wants to be left alone.


Exactly the opposite is the case with bliss. The moment bliss arrives life begins to have tremendous meaning, all darkness disappears. The dark night of the soul is over, the morning has arrived, and with the morning, the songs of the birds and the joy of the flowers and the colours on the horizon. Suddenly one would like to live for eternity, forever and forever. But people are not aware of bliss.


Yes, they have known something of happiness. Happiness is just a glimpse of bliss, a faraway glimpse, a reflection, rot the reality. It is as if you are seeing the moon reflected in the lake. The moon in the lake is not the real moon; it can be disturbed any moment. Just throw a small pebble into it and the reflection disappears.


The same is true about happiness; just a small accident is enough to destroy it. It is reflection, it is not reality. Reality is indestructible; only illusions can be destroyed. But when you have seen something of the reflection of bliss you have felt a little light. Even in the reflection the moon in the lake is full of light, it is luminous. The candle reflected in the mirror is also luminous.


We know something of happiness but those small glimpses can help us to move ahead, to seek the real. And it is not far away. One of the strangest, weirdest things about the human mind is that bliss is inside and it goes on seeking it everywhere else except inside.


Let sannyas be the point of a radical change, let it be a turning in. And immediately you are luminous. And the moment darkness disappears, death disappears. Then life is eternal; then it has been always and it will be always.
To know it is to be free from fear.


(His name: Demian, is the name of a mythological person, a man who gave his life for his friend, so it represents friendship, Osho tells the new swami.)


Love can lead you to something higher than love. Friendship is that something higher. Love is rooted in biology, it is something instinctive. Falling in love with a woman or a man is nothing extraordinary. It is a natural fact. I am not against it but there are still higher altitudes of love free from biology.


The moment love is free from biology, from the instinctive, it becomes friendship -- and it is a rare achievement.


People ordinarily think that they are friendly. But whenever there comes a question of sacrifice they withdraw; they immediately find a thousand and one excuses -- and that is the only criterion.


Love is good but one should not settle at that. When two lovers become friends they have really loved each other. And it is very rare to find two lovers becoming friends. They can become enemies very easily, in fact they are, they are continuously at each other's throats jealous possessive, fighting, nagging, suspicious. This is not friendship, this is the lowest form of love, it is lust.


Even lust is not bad. It is raw material -- you have to refine it I don't condemn it. The people who have condemned it have not helped humanity.


Just the other day the Polack pope made the statement that even to look at your wife with lust is a sin. He quotes Jesus, and he quotes him wrongly -- because Jesus says to look at a woman with lustful eyes or even to think in lustful ways is sin. But Jesus says it about a woman, not about your wire -- otherwise why should one  get married in the first place? But Polacks are Polacks! Even if they become popes they cannot change.


It is perfectly good between a husband and a wife because it is a biological relationship. It is instinctive. But one should not settle there. One should rise, one should use it as a stepping stone. And unless your love becomes a friendship... And what are the differences?


The first difference is that friends are not jealous. If your wife moves with somebody, feels happy with somebody, you will feel good if you are a friend. There is nothing wrong in it. But if you are a husband you will feel very bad, you will feel hurt, wounded. Your ego suffers as if you are being rejected, as if you have not been able to prove your manhood, as if you have fallen short, your wife enjoys other people's company more than your company. Comparison, jealousy. anger. hatred -- all these arise. These are part of lust.


But if you are friendly you will feel happy because the person you love is happy. You will give freedom and you will give all the help that you can to make the other happy. You will not hinder them, you will not get in the way. Friendship has something spiritual about it. Love is biological, friendship is spiritual. And Unless love becomes something like friendship one suffers through it; rather than finding bliss one finds more and more misery. But the reason is not in the energy of love. The reason is that you have not been able to refine it, you have not been very artful about it. You have taken it for granted, as if this is the end. This is not the end.


Let your love become friendship, let your love become prayer. These are the two possibilities, two aspects. If you become friendly with the person you love then you can love many persons. Then your love spreads, then the circle becomes bigger and bigger. This is one aspect. The other aspect is that when you start loving many people with no clinging and you also allow the others the same, your love starts growing another aspect -- the aspect called prayer.


Prayer means loving the whole, the whole universe, becoming friendly with the trees and the rocks and the rivers and the mountains and the stars. When friendship reaches to the point of prayer one is religious.


(Love, and the new dimensions love opens up, seems to be a theme that Osho is emphasising this month. Love is a great trouble-maker, Osho begins this address, and that's why so many people prefer to live without it.)


For centuries people have escaped from love to the monasteries, to the mountains, to the deserts, just to avoid all opportunities where love can grow. They have lived in solitariness in the caves, afraid of love. And there is a point in it: love creates much turmoil. Life without love has a certain calmness about it but if that calmness is cold, dead. Yes, there is a silence but that silence is of a cemetery; it has no song in it, it is not worth anything.


One has to transform love. And this cannot be done by escaping. One has to enter into the whole turmoil of love and still remain alert, watchful, aware, so that the turmoil remains only on the circumference and never reaches the centre and the centre remains still.


This is the way of a sannyasin: love has to be accepted and yet you are not to be disturbed by it. It will bring many problems and they are good because they create challenges in life. And when you respond to challenges you grow.


All your so-called saints who escaped to the deserts became retarded. They were not growing spiritually, they were really becoming more and more stupid. But we have worshipped that kind of stupidity for so long that we have completely forgotten that it is stupidity.


I have travelled all over this country. This country has more saints than any other country -- and they are all stupid, one hundred per cent stupid. I have never come across a saint who has dwelled in the mountains for long who has not lost all intelligence. One is bound to lose intelligence because intelligence needs constant challenges, only then does it remain sharp. It is like a sword: if you put a sword in a mountain cave it will gather rust; the sword will become useless. And the same happens to intelligence. So I am all for accepting the world and all its challenges -- and love is the greatest challenge because its requirements are so many.


First it requires you to drop the ego and there the struggle begins: the ego clings, you cling to the ego, the ego wants to dominate the whole thing -- and love cannot be dominated. If you cling to the ego love disappears. If you drop the ego only then can love grow. This is the first challenge and then one after another new challenges go on coming.


Love means that you have to learn to respect the other as an end unto himself, the other is not a means. That is the only immoral act in the world. In fact the whole of immorality can be defined through this simple things if you are using the other as a means you are immoral; if you are full of respect for the other person as an end, then you are moral.


And sooner or later the other person wants his apace and fear arises in you. You would like to make the other a prisoner -- of course, with beautiful chains, golden chains, studded with diamonds. But you would like the other to be imprisoned so that you can be certain of the tomorrow. Otherwise who knows? -- your lover may leave you. One never knows what is going to happen the next moment so one wants to be certain about the next moment, one wants a certain guarantee -- and that very guarantee kills love.


Then there are husbands and wives -- these are the people who have butchered love, killed it completely. Now marriage is certainly a far more permanent phenomenon, like a plastic flower. A real rose is bound to disappear, any moment it can disappear. Just a strong wind comes and the petals wither away. One has to accept this, that life is a constant flux.


Love creates all these challenges, but if you remain centred, alert and aware, then these challenges are immensely helpful; they make you rich.


If you can be a centre to the cyclone that love creates then your life starts growing. And as your centering becomes deeper with each challenge, as you become more grounded, more rooted, and nothing can uproot you -- no problem can shatter you and you remain integrated in all kinds of crises -- you will feel grateful to love, because it is only through all those problems that this integration has happened. And then one starts towering higher than love -- and that is what grace means. When you love and yet love cannot create any problem for you, then there is grace, then there is immense beauty of the body, of the mind, of the soul. And they are all joined together in that graceful harmony. But there is no way if you avoid love.


Never avoid love and its problems. Face them, accept the challenge and the trouble, but at the same time remain calm and quiet.


('Contentment is the foundation of the temple of bliss' is the meaning Osho gives to Paritosh Anand's name.)


People are constantly living in discontent about everything. It is a habit. It is not that if they have more money and a better house and a better wife or a better son or a better job they will be contented -- it is not that. Whatsoever they have they will remain discontented. Poor, they will be discontented; rich, they will be discontented.


Discontent is a habit of the mind. Mind lives through it, it is intrinsic to mind; mind can never be contented. Once you understand this a miracle happens; then you can put the mind aside because it is never going to give you contentment. That is not in its nature, so you are asking for the impossible. And what cannot happen cannot happen, it is futile. This has been the experience of the whole of humanity for centuries. Still everybody tries, hoping that he is an exception; nobody is an exception. And discontentment creates misery.


If you understand why you are discontented, if you don't find any excuses on the outside and you see that it is the functioning of the mind, then the functioning can be dropped. It is very easy. The question is to see it. Don't believe it because I say it is so; you have to see it.


Watch your mind. Look at the past. Many times you thought if you could get a certain thing you would be happy, and you got it and you were not happy. And you have not even taken note of it. This has happened so many times but you don't learn the lesson, nobody learns the lesson. People go on landing in the same pitfalls again and again.


A sannyasin has to learn. That's precisely the meaning of disciplehood, the capacity to learn. Learn that your mind is the cause of all discontentment and then there is misery and then there is hell. Drop the mind and with it all misery and all hell disappears and suddenly a revelation happens to you -- your innermost core is full of bliss. Just the layer of the mind has to be removed and bliss explodes. And bliss and contentment happen simultaneously. But first you will feel contentment because you will be removing discontentment. So the first experience of your interiority will be of contentment and immediately you will see bliss following it.


So watch the mind and all its tricks that it goes on playing upon you. To have a transformation nothing else is required, only watchfulness of the mechanism of mind. And through that understanding things start happening of their own accord, effortlessly, quietly.


(Japanese Satoru's new name, Sagar Deva, is to remind him that the experience of god is one of vastness, of infinity, Osho says.)


There are neither boundaries in space nor in time. There is no beginning, no end. And to experience it one becomes it, because that is the only way to experience.


It is not something that you can know by standing outside. You cannot be a spectator to it, not just standing by the roadside. You have to slip into existence Just like a dewdrop slipping into the ocean. Of course the dewdrop loses something -- its identity -- but it gains tremendously, it becomes the whole ocean.


All that a sannyasin is to lose is the ego. And once there is egolessness you have become a participant with the whole. You are no more, the whole is -- and that is the ultimate goal of all religious quest.


Meditation is just a method of encouraging the dewdrop to take the jump into the ocean. The function of the master is seductive: he simply seduces the disciple to take the quantum leap. He goes on encouraging him. Of course in the beginning the disciple tries in every way to escape, to avoid it, to find excuses, but once you are trapped by a master it is impossible.


And you are trapped, so don't waste time in escaping and avoiding! Rather take the jump as quickly as possible. And I know Japanese can do it more easily than anybody else. So please, do it!

(Osho speaks about another aspect of contentment.)


Life is such a gift that if we see how much has been given to us we will be just grateful. And we don't deserve it, we have not earned it; it is a sheer gift from the whole. We are not worthy of it but we have taken it for granted, hence we go on asking for more. So nothing ever gives us satisfaction, nothing ever makes us feel gratitude. The mind is always complaining, the mind goes on complaining continuously. From the cradle to the grave the whole journey is full of complaints. This is how we miss the great opportunity of growing, of loving, of being, of rejoicing. And there is so much to dance, so much to sing, so much to love.


But we have to change this habit of complaining. Instead of complaining learn the art of thankfulness. That's what sannyas is, the art of gratitude. And it changes the whole of your life; once you shift from complaint to gratitude, from discontent to contentment, it changes your whole vision, whole perspective. Suddenly spring bursts forth in your being, thousands of flowers bloom in your consciousness -- and the first flower is that of love.


A contented person is nothing but love. He is not even loving, he is simply love. He loves for the sake of love because that is his way of showing gratitude to existence. That's his thankfulness, his prayer. So he goes on loving each and everybody. He does not ask for anything in return; he simply gives because so much has been given by god that we should share it a little bit.


And the miracle is that the more we share, the more goes on coming to us. Once you have learned the secret and the arithmetic of sharing you cannot be miserly about it; you will simply go on sharing as much as possible, because the more you share, the more you have.


Share your bliss, share your love, share your understanding, share everything that you have got -- all the inner riches. That sharing is essentially what I mean when I say that the contented man becomes love itself.


So change your mind from discontent to contentment and then see the miracle -- that love starts flowing through you in thousands of streams, in many dimensions, in many ways. And life becomes such a splendour, incomprehensible to the intellect, unfathomable for the mind, a tremendous mystery and the ultimate ecstasy.      -- How long will you be here?      -- I don't know. Maybe one year, two years.      -- That's good -- be here forever. I can say it!


(Viola's new name is Deva Anuragini. It means divine and full of love, Osho explains. In fact to be full of love is to be divine, he says.)


One need not go to the church or the temple or the mosque, one need not be a Christian or a Hindu or a Mohammedan; to be religious one has simply to be loving. God understands only one language, the language of love. If you love his existence you have said whatsoever needs to be said to him.


But people go on doing childish kinds of prayers. They are childish because when you were a child they were taught to you. Every child is told "Say your prayers before you go to sleep," so every child mutters a prayer, finishes it quickly, pulls up the blanket and forgets all about it once it is finished. Then it becomes a habit and people go on repeating it for their whole life. But this is not prayer, this is sheer stupidity. Using words with god is being stupid. The only language he understands is of love, of silence.


So love, existence and your prayer will go on reaching him. And then there is no need to pray at a particular time, with a particular ritual. Religion is not a ritual, and whenever it becomes a ritual, it is dead.


Religion is love alive, throbbing, pulsating. So love his existence, the manifest god, and the unmanifest will know about it, because the unmanifest is just hidden behind the manifest. Whatsoever you do to the manifest reaches the unmanifest.


See what so-called religious people go on doing: they pray to god yet Christians go on killing Mohammedans and Mohammedans go on killing Hindus and Hindus go on killing Mohammedans. They go on praying to god, all of them -- and they go on killing live people. They go on destroying, killing, what god creates -- and they all say god is the creator. But it seems they are just repeating words without knowing any of the meaning of those words. If god is the creator then to destroy is to be against god. Then the only way to participate with him is to be creative -- and that's my approach.


I teach my sannyasins to be creative. In your own small way... whatsoever you  can create, be creative. Contribute something to existence out of your love -- and that is prayer. Make life a little better than you found it. When you leave the world, leave the world a little bit better than you found it -- and you have lived rightly. You will be immensely rewarded.

(Marion becomes Anand Aruna.)
Aruna means the early morning sun, when it is just coming above the horizon.


Literally Aruna means red, because at that moment the sun is red and because of its redness the whole eastern horizon becomes red. And that is the colour of sannyas. It is the beginning of the day. It represents the end of the night and the beginning of the day, the end of darkness and death and the beginning of light and life.


Be blissful, only then can the sun rise within you, because it is only in bliss that you become receptive, open, vulnerable, because in bliss all fear disappears and you are ready to receive the unknown guest. You are not afraid of the unknown.


And the moment you are not afraid of the unknown the unknown immediately knocks on your door. If you are afraid then it does not disturb you. God never interferes in anybody's life because he loves his creation. So he leaves everybody total freedom, even to go against him -- that is part of freedom, even to close their doors to him -- that is part of freedom, even to deny him -- that is part of freedom. But it is foolish to use freedom in that negative way. Use freedom in a positive way, use freedom to receive the unknown guest, use freedom to create trust and love and bliss so god can penetrate you.


And the meeting between your being and the being of the whole is the beginning of light, the beginning of eternal life, the beginning of immortality. And that is the search that everybody is on, knowingly, unknowingly. Everybody wants to know something which is indestructible, which cannot be taken away.


Everybody wants to come into the light, everybody wants to have eyes to see, to have clarity of vision, but people go on doing things which really prevent their vision, hinder their insight, cripple their being. A sannyasin has to trust existence and rejoice in the small things of life.


Life consists of small things, but if you rejoice you transform these ordinary things into something extraordinary. Even if you rejoice eating your food it becomes sacred. If you rejoice cleaning the floor it becomes prayer. If you rejoice cooking food for your friends, for your lover, for your children, for your parents, it becomes meditation. The secret is rejoicing. Rejoice in everything that you are doing and then it is done for god, then it is an offering to god.


And whenever the right moment has arrived and you are ripe and ready the sun rises above the horizon and all darkness disappears.


(Dhyan Priya means when you are a meditator you become a beloved of existence, Osho tells the former Ruth.)


Dhyan means meditation. Meditation is a state of absolute silence when there is no mind at all to disturb you, when you are simply alert, aware but there is no thought, no desire, no memory, when there is no ripple in the lake of consciousness, when the lake of consciousness is so quiet and silent that it is almost like a mirror. In that moment the whole existence is reflected in you as it is in its reality -- because thoughts distort, desires disfigure. They don't allow the real to reach you, they give their own colour to reality.


Scientists have discovered that ninety-eight per cent of information is not even allowed to enter; your mind prevents it. The two per cent that is allowed in is very much distorted. The mind has made it according to itself, it is no more representative of It simply shows something about your mind, it does not say anything about reality. That's why come to see something they will all report about different ways.


You have heard the story about the five blind men who had come to see the elephant. They were all great philosophers and they all reported differently. Blind people are philosophers, philosophers are blind people. They started arguing, great argument ensued because they were all perfectly certain that what they has seen was the real elephant. The person who touched the leg of the elephant said that it was like a pillar. They all gave different descriptions, and they were all right in a way. But that part, that half truth is far more dangerous than a whole untruth because it has something of truth in it that gives it a certain validity, a certain quality to convince others.


Meditation simply helps you to drop all ideas so that you become totally open to reality as it is, not according to you. You don't have any prejudice, you don't have any a priori conclusion. You are simply available, open, and whatsoever comes you allow in; it reaches you as it is.


And Priya means a beloved. The moment one becomes a meditator, one becomes a beloved of the whole existence. The whole existence becomes so loving, so tender towards the meditator, that when it happens for the first time it is amazing. One cannot believe that trees are so loving, that rocks are so loving, people are so loving. The whole existence starts pouring love into the meditator.


It is said -- and It is a metaphor -- that whenever Buddha passed through a forest trees would bloom out of season just to receive Buddha! Trees would become alive and suddenly great foliage would start growing, just to receive the Buddha. It is a metaphor, it is not something historical, it is pure poetry but it is indicative of truth. And poetry is far more indicative of truth than anything else is. Truth cannot be described in a scientific way; it can be described only in a poetic way because it is a mystery. But those symbolic, metaphorical stories say one thing, that the meditator becomes a beloved to the whole existence.


About Mohammed it is said -- because he lived in the desert, Arabian desert, and of course the sun is very hot in the desert -- that a cloud would always go on moving with him just above his head to protect him from the heat of the sun. I don't think clouds will do that... but it is indicative, indicative of something far deeper. Of course the whole existence protects such a person; he becomes a beloved.


So be a meditator and become a beloved of the whole existence. Less than that is not worthwhile, less than that is not going to satisfy your thirst. It cannot quench your innermost thirst.
			

> [!info]
> Copyright 1964-1990 Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh)
>