---
section: Library
booktitle: "This Is It"
booktype: "Diaries"
bookcode: "THISIS"
dategiven: "06 May 1977 pm"
place: " in Chuang Tzu Auditorium"
chapternum: "Chapter #6"
chaptertitle: "None"
acode: "7705065"
shorttitle: "THISIS06"
audio: "No"
video: "No"
esttime: ""
displaytitle: "This Is It: Chapter #6"
---

```style
.sutra {
  font-style: italic;
  white-space: pre-wrap !important;
}
```
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[A sannyasin, returned from the West, says she is not ready to live in the West. She has a strong desire to be loved, feels a desperation that she hasn't been loved. Osho says that is one of the basic problems that touches everyone.... ]


.... because we live in a society which is absolutely loveless, so everybody is hungry for love, desperately hungry, dying for it, starving. And the problem is that unless you love people they cannot love you -- and you cannot love because you have not been loved. This is the vicious circle.


To be able to love one needs to be loved, otherwise a person never becomes able to love. They have been experimenting with monkeys.... If the mother hugs the monkey, the monkey becomes capable of hugging other females in later life. If the mother is not allowed to hug the child -- the child is fed and taken care of but the mother is not allowed to hug the child -- then the child is never able to hug any other woman for all his life. He has simply not learned the language; he cannot love because he has not been loved, so he does not know what love is all about.


Psychoanalysts have been surprised to discover that if the mother does not hug and kiss the child -- the monkey-child -- it will never be able to make sexual contact with a female... he will not know how to make love either. The mother hugging him somehow gives off a certain energy which resounds in his being, creates sexuality, creates the possibility for love. That warmth functions on some of the chakras inside.


If those chakras have never been revolved then you are simply at a loss. Man is the only animal who is at a loss, the only loveless animal on the earth. We are being taught everything except love, and whatsoever we are being taught goes against love. Not only that we are not taught love -- we are taught ways which go against love. We are taught how to hoard money, how to become rich, we are taught how to become successful, how to be ambitious, how to become respected -- we are taught everything -- and these are against love.


A loving person cannot be ambitious; it is impossible for a loving person to be ambitious. Ambition needs a hungry person, a person who has never been loved and who cannot love. Because of that starvation, he projects his hunger and love onto something: money, power, prestige. That becomes his love affair -- then he is ready to die for it!


There are millions of people who live only to accumulate money and they don't know of anything else that life is for; money has become their beloved. Then there are people who are just hankering for their whole life for a higher post. They are the ladder-climbers: they go on climbing up the ladder, not knowing where they are going and for what. If they are pulled down the ladder they are very angry -- if they go on up they are not happy; either way their life is in vain.


We are taught ambition, we are taught desire, we are taught aggression, we are taught to hate people, to doubt people. We are taught to be inimical to people, never to trust anybody. All are against you and you are competing with everybody else for your survival. That's what they call survival of the fittest. So be more egoistic, be more ambitious, be more aggressive, have more energy so that you can force your way amongst other competitors. But if you love, all these things disappear -- then who bothers?


Love is so fulfilling. Who needs much money? Love is so tremendously satisfying. Who wants power? It is a transfer: if you can love a man deeply you will not need anybody else's appreciation; that one man's appreciation is enough. That one man has looked into your eyes and seen your potentiality. That one man has looked deeply into your heart and has loved you. That one man has looked into you and seen what is great in you, what is beautiful in you, and you have looked into his eyes and seen the reflection of your being there. It is enough -- you become worthy. Suddenly you have worth -- you are not just useless, you have tremendous worth.


And the worth is not of the quality of utility -- not that you are useful, that's why that man is in love with you. He is simply in love with you! Love is unconditional. It is not that you are moral, that you are virtuous, that you are educated, that you belong to a very famous family -- these things are irrelevant; he simply loves you as you are! It is not that he sees that in the future you will become very famous, it is not that in the future you will become a great intellectual, a great author, a great actress, no! He simply loves you as you are; this very moment as you are, is enough for him. That gives worth! That is missing.


But remember it is not only your problem -- it is everybody's problem. So don't make much fuss about it. Just try to understand it and find a way to get out of it. If you don't understand it, getting out will be difficult. What happens if you don't understand?


If you don't understand you go on crying for love and you go on waiting for somebody to come. Prince charming will come and will kiss you and you will be turned into a beautiful human being and then everything will be okay; but up to then, you have to wait. And meanwhile you are dying, meanwhile your energies are shrinking, meanwhile you are not growing, meanwhile you have become stagnant. Those princes only come in stories, they don't come in reality. In reality you have to seek them: you have to move towards them, you have to invite them, you have to take the initiative.


Love will happen only to those people who seek it, otherwise not. So if you really want to be loved, just waiting won't help. Start seeking. There are so many beautiful people; in, fact each person is so beautiful. Maybe he does not suit you -- that's one thing -- but nobody is ugly, nobody can be ugly. They all come out of god. How can they be ugly?


Each person has intrinsic value, and the value is tremendous. Just seek somebody with whom your vibe falls in tune, somebody with whom you feel at-one-ment... with whom you fall en rapport. And don't wait -- waiting is wasting!


The society is loveless, so nobody is going to come because they are also waiting, remember! Everybody is waiting and everybody is afraid to take the first step, because the society is loveless. If somebody comes to you and proposes he is afraid you may reject him, and rejection hurts, it hurts very much. In being rejected by a person one feels, 'Again I am proved to be worthless. It was better not to ask. At least I could hope -- now there is no hope.'


If one is rejected too many times, by and by one starts sinking within oneself, becomes dead, closes. There is always fear of being rejected, so nobody approaches anybody, nobody takes the initiative; everybody is waiting for the other to take the initiative, and the other is in the same plight.


So in the future only those people are able to love and be loved who will take great initiative. Take the initiative! I don't think there is any problem. You just have to get out of your self-imposed imprisonment. Nothing is there and there is nobody blocking you. In fact there is no guard on the prison door: the door is open. You are there just out of old habit and you are afraid that if you go and take the initiative, if you are rejected, then?


Nothing to be worried about! Rejection is not really rejection of you. Maybe the man himself is afraid; he is rejecting just to protect himself. There can be a thousand and one reasons: he is cold, he does not know what love is, he cannot vibrate with love energy or wherever he has ever tried, he has failed. Now the failure has become sealed and he does not want to come across failure again. Maybe he has loved women and they have frustrated him... a thousand and one reasons.


So there is no reason to think that when someone rejects you he is rejecting you. His rejection will have some reasons within himself, it is his problem. Feel compassion when somebody rejects, don't feel rejected: that is the whole art of moving into love. And it is good to be rejected ninety-nine times if at the hundredth time you are accepted; it is worth it, that risk was worth it.


Nobody rejects you because you never take any initiative and nobody ever accepts you -- that is hell! Just the other day I was reading a diary of a poet, and I loved his definition of hell. He says, 'Hell is the place where people are waiting to be loved and nobody ever turns up.' I liked it... that's right! All are waiting... and the waiting becomes long -- hell is said to be eternal.


Bertrand Russell has written a book against christianity -- 'Why I am not a Christian' -- and one of the main reasons that he has given against Christianity is that Jesus says that hell is eternal, and Russell says that this is not possible and this is not fair either... and the logic is correct.


Russell says 'If I expose to a court all the sins that I have committed in this life' -- and Christians believe in only one life, so there is no problem about it -- 'the hardest judge cannot sentence me to more than four years' gaol'. Even if those sins have to be included which he had thought of but never committed, then too, not more than eight years. And for these small sins -- small, mediocre, mundane -- he will be thrown into eternal hell? That looks unfair!


And anybody who has a little reasoning will see the point -- that Russell is right and Jesus is wrong. But I say to you that Jesus is right and Russell is wrong, because the reason is something very different.... Hell is not eternal but it appears to be eternal. Have you watched sometimes? -- in deep misery time passes so slowly, as if it is not passing at all.


Your mother is dying and you are sitting by the side of the bed. It is the middle of the night and you know she is dying, you know that she may not be able to see the morning again. It is only a few hours but they look so long -- as if years are passing -- and the clock seems to have stopped, it is not moving. Pain lengthens time.


Your beloved has come and you are sitting by the side of him, silent or singing or talking, and time flies so fast. Hours pass like minutes, days pass like hours, and you always feel that it was not enough. It is already the middle of the night and you have not even finished your talk -- nothing has ever started.


Time passes fast when you are in a blissful mood, time stops when you are in a painful mood; that is the whole meaning. Jesus saying that hell is eternal is simply proposing Albert Einstein's theory of relativity, nothing else -- that it depends on your mood, it is relative. Maybe hell is only for one minute but it will look eternal. And heaven -- maybe it is eternal -- will look like one minute. So come out of this hell....


And I am creating here people whose whole religion is love, my whole message is that of love. I don't call any love sin, I don't call any love good or bad -- love is good! Even the lowest kind of love is good because it is at least the lowest rung of the ladder. So don't be disheartened; take courage, find a friend! And remember always not to think about love in romantic terms, mm? otherwise much frustration happens out of it. That too is a misery. Society is loveless and people have very wrong notions about love. First they don't get love and if sometimes they do, they are not satisfied by it because they have great perfectionistic ideals, inhuman ideals.


If you love a man, he will perspire and his perspiration stinks. If you love a man you will not like a thousand and one things in him... sometimes very small things. You cannot get a perfect man. Not are you perfect nobody is perfect: there are limitations, frailities. The first difficulty is that people are loveless, so nobody knows how to love. The second difficulty is that people have been brought up on romantic ideas of love -- fairy love, airy fairy, abstract, dreamy -- not real, not authentic, not actual. If you have that idea, then even if you find a lover you will be frustrated sooner or later.


So drop all romantic ideas -- they are barriers in love. Romantic ideas are very poisonous; they are part of the same neurotic society. A loveless society creates romantic ideas about love. That is part of the same game, it comes in the same package. First, make people loveless, and then give them such ideals that they cannot fulfil them so they remain always hung up, just in limbo. Without love, they suffer; with love, they suffer -- suffering is certain.


A man of understanding, without love, enjoys his aloneness -- in love, enjoys relationships; he enjoys all the time! A foolish person alone feels lonely, is frustrated -- together, is never happy because the other is imperfect. So don't be foolish -- just be intelligent! Your problem will be solved only by creating a little intelligence... and it is there! So from tomorrow morning you start taking initiative, mm? Good!


[The sahaj group is present. The leader says sometimes in groups, they stop talking and have sessions of relating without words. It is beautiful, but even then the relating is still in terms of words -- he feels this is an inhibiting force.]


... Sometimes you can get more into words when you are not talking because then you are more free inside. When you are talking, the inside chattering stops. When you are not talking, then inside you can go on talking with great speed. The speed of talking can never match with that speed that goes on inside.


In fact that's why people talk, why so much talk goes on -- people gossiping, saying anything, rubbish. There is a reason in it -- the reason is that that is a way to relax their mind. If they are not allowed to talk, the mind goes very crazy. When they talk the mind stops; it has to stop -- you cannot do both things together. And when you really get into talking, then the mind stops. So those are a few moments when the mind feels relaxed. Talking is a relaxation, in a way.


That's why if somebody comes who goes on talking and does not give you a chance to talk, you feel he is a bore. He is not a bore; you get bored by your inner chattering. He simply does not allow you to talk, that's all. He will relax very much, he feels tremendously good. Saying good-bye to you, he will say '... it was great, it was fantastic!' -- but you are tremendously bored because he monopolised the whole thing. He does not allow you to get anything out of yourself, so you were jammed in and he was flowing.


If you watch silently you will see that you are bored by your chatting, not by his chatting. So just to stop talking is not enough for silence. But sometimes -- after a group session of talking, energy, catharsis, movement -- a moment can come when the whole group can fall silent. For a few seconds there can be silence, utter silence. But if you want to make it for the whole day it won't happen; you will miss even those few moments. So I will not suggest that you do the whole work through relating without talking -- that won't help. People will get bored with their inner chattering. Allow catharsis, and sometimes silence will happen... let it happen when it happens. Don't impose it and don't manipulate it and don't in any way enforce it; don't 'even think about it. Let the group energy move, let it be active, cathartic, chaotic, spontaneous. You will find suddenly one moment that the whole group has felt it and they have all fallen silent. Then enjoy it for a few moments, a few seconds, a few minutes at the most.


You cannot bear that silence too long, otherwise the mind will start chattering. So keep quiet for that time, but let it be spontaneous -- when it comes, it comes. It comes almost like a breeze: when it comes it comes. When it comes, enjoy it; when it doesn't come, don't hanker for it.


The work has to be active -- these passive moments will just be guests. If you start thinking that you can make the whole day silent, you will miss the point; even these few moments will not come back. This is something like an inner polarity which has to be understood.


It is as if a person is chopping wood the whole day and then he is tremendously tired and in the night he falls into deep sleep like a log. Now, if he starts thinking logically -- that he was working the whole day, it was hard, strenuous and still he could sleep so well, so if he doesn't work the whole day but rests he will have even a better sleep -- he is a fool! Then he will not have any sleep at all. That whole day's tiredness created these moments of sleep!


The polarity: when you work you earn some quantity of rest -- it has to be earned. When you talk, when your mind is active, you earn some moments of silence and rest. They have to ba earned -- they don't come free -- and the way to earn them is to do the opposite. So if you really want to have those moments, my suggestion is just the contrary to yours. My suggestion is to go into catharsis more, bring as much energy into the work as you can manage. Let the whole group go almost mad -- then those moments will come and they will have a depth, a great depth.


And you will be surprised by one thing: when it comes, suddenly the whole group will fall silent without any indication from you. That means the silence has come, it is something more than all of you. It is nothing created by your small mind, your tiny mind. It is something that comes, hovers around you, starts moving in the room, and you all feel it and you all fall silent in it. It is a guest... it is almost a certain quality of space.


Sometimes a runner comes to such spaces. Running under the sun on a beach for miles, the whole body is exhausted -- you have been breathing deeply, the sun was there, the air was there and it was total freedom. In running, the mind stops; because the whole energy is moving in the body, the mind gets low energy. Suddenly you feel it is there, surrounding you -- you can stand, you can sit or you can fall down on the beach and you will feel it embracing you from every nook and corner; from the sand, from the sun, from the air, from everywhere it is there. You can almost touch it.


Silence is a guest. If you force it, it is a mind-created stillness, imitative, pseudo... and you can see that the difference is tremendous, it is very great.


So don't manage it. Mm? -- just go to the other extreme; if you want it to come, go to the other extreme. Work hard, drive the whole energy crazy, let people move faster and faster, and then you will see that those moments come; everybody suddenly feels it intuitively. There is no need to ring a bell, nobody says anything to anybody, but immediately everybody feels it. It is collective -- you have touched the collective unconscious. When it happens and everybody has suddenly felt that it is there, out of respect, out of sheer respect, one has to be silent. What else can you do? -- such great energy is there. In great reverence you bow down to it, you rest at its feet. When it is gone, it is gone -- you start working again. Try this way.


[A visitor says he has bone cancer in his foot. The doctors tried several treatments but say the foot will have to be amputated. He said he felt angry with them.


Osho checks his energy, and tells him he thinks it a good idea that the foot is removed.... ]


Don't be afraid -- removing it will solve the problem. And not removing it for a long time can be dangerous, mm? -- it can spread. It is very difficult to accept cutting one limb of the body, but nothing to be worried about; just go through it....


You have come, that's good; that's not wrong. You have come, that's very good; it is going to help you, mm? Be here for a few days, then go back and have it removed. And become a sannyasin -- that will help! Or do you have to think about it? It will help you!...


It will create a detachment with the body... and you are not the body, so nothing to be worried about. And sometimes blessings come in the form of curses. One never knows!


This may prove a blessing -- just accept it! Be here for a few days but go back and let it be removed. Don't be here too long because the disease is such that it can spread, mm? But you came, that is very good!


... Just accept it as a gift of god -- this too! Everything is a gift, and things are so mysteriously related. For example, you are here because of this operation, otherwise you would have missed me. Now your whole life will be totally different. The leg is nothing to be worried about -- the body has to go one day; nothing to be worried about.


If you can totally accept the foot being removed as a gift of god, that will bring a great transformation in your consciousness; that will be a revolution. So don't miss this opportunity! Accept it as a gift -- not angrily at all, not sadly at all.


When Jesus is crucified, at the last moment he wavers and says 'What are you doing to me? Why this agony? Have you forsaken me?' He becomes doubtful for a single moment; it is natural. Being crucified, he must have felt doubt as to whether there was a god or not, or was he just a neurotic and just projecting himself ? If god is a father then what is he doing to his son ? It was natural and human, very human of Jesus, but he understood immediately and he said 'No, not my will, but thy will be done! Thy kingdom, thy will -- who am I?' -- and he relaxed.


And to me, that moment he became christ -- that moment. Up to that moment he was just Jesus, a human being. In that moment the revolution happened: he accepted.


So let this be a great situation: accept it! If god wills it that way, perfectly good -- one is ready to go the whole way, wherever he leads. Thy will be done; let that be your mantra.


So be here for three, four days, then go, mm? and with total acceptance and relaxation let go. Almost enjoy it -- because such an opportunity rarely comes; it does not come to everybody's life. It is an opportunity to die while you are alive... it is a crucifixion.


If you can accept it with no strings, with no conditions, if you can accept it also as a gift, you will have a new beginning, a new birth, you will be reborn, and your whole life will be of a different quality... so don't miss this! It is nothing to do with whether the disease goes or not -- that is not the point at all. Whether you remain alive or not, that is not the point.


If even for a single moment you can attain to that perfect let-go in which you are no more willing anything against god, it is enough: you have attained. That's all life can give -- more is not possible. That is the moment of bliss, of ecstasy.


So go back happily, almost rejoicing in it, thankful, with gratitude, and just tell the doctors 'Now do it -- I am ready!' And let it be a celebration. Where will the operation be done -- in London?


... So I will tell my sannyasins there, and when the operation is done they will be around you. They can sing and rejoice and make it a real celebration. Move with that energy and let it be a great experience -- don't miss it!

[Osho gives him sannyas.]


Deva samarpana. It means surrendered to god... Deva means god, samarpana means surrendered. ...


And that's to be your attitude now from this moment: surrendered to god. Whatsoever happens is good -- if death happens, that is good! Now you are not to choose and you are not to think about it and things are going to change utterly.
But you did well that you came, mm? It was needed.
			

> [!info]
> Copyright 1964-1990 Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh)
>