---
section: Library
booktitle: "Eighty Four Thousand Poems"
booktype: "Diaries"
bookcode: "84POEM"
dategiven: "17 April 1980 pm"
place: " in Chuang Tzu Auditorium"
chapternum: "Chapter #15"
chaptertitle: "None"
acode: "8004175"
shorttitle: "84POEM15"
audio: "No"
video: "No"
esttime: ""
displaytitle: "Eighty Four Thousand Poems: Chapter #15"
---

```style
.sutra {
  font-style: italic;
  white-space: pre-wrap !important;
}
```
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> [!info]
> Note
>
[NOTE: This is an unedited tape transcript of an unpublished darshan diary, which has been copy-typed on to the computer. It is for reference purposes only.]


To be a disciple is something of immense value.
It means surrender
It means putting your ego aside
It means a heart-to-heart communion
With the master. It is a love affair.
It is not a question of being convinced
By the ideas of the master.
It is being convinced by the presence,
By the divine presence of the master.
It is being convinced  that the master is no more
But god is flowing through him.
Then only can one become a disciple.


To be a student is easy.
It doesn't require much from your side.
But to be a disciple is very demanding.
It requires trust, tremendous trust
But once you have tasted
The beauties of disciplehood
Then there is nothing sweeter than that.


It happened in many other times too:
Many of the disciples of Buddha
Became enlightened but they wouldn't leave him.
And he would insist
'Now that you are enlightened
You have become Buddhas in your own right.
You should go and spread the word, reach people!
But they would say,
'No. We still want to remain disciples
We don't  ant to be Buddhas.'


They said to Buddha...
Manjushree, the first disciple of Buddha
Who became enlightened
Fell at his feet, cried and wept.
He said,'I was not thinking
That enlightenment would happen so soon.
Pleas let me hang around!
I don't want to go anywhere.
I am ready to drop this enlightenment
But I am not ready to drop my disciplehood.'
Buddha said, 'That is impossible.
Once enlightened, you are enlightened forever.
There is no going back!'


But there is significance
In his crying and weeping:
He would still like to be a disciple
He would still like to be in the same communion
In the same love affair.
He does not want to come to the end
Of that beautiful journey.


So be truly a disciple.
And the word 'disciple' simply means
One who is capable of learning
One who is available to learn
One who is receptive.


A loyal heart is the beginning of sannyas:
A heart that can trust
And a heart that can be committed
That can get involved
A heart which is capable of dropping all doubt.
Only such a heart
Can become a boat to the farther shore
Only a loyal heart can know what god is.
The doubting person thinks much
But knows nothing.
The trusting person thinks nothing
But knows all.


This is just the beginning,
The beginning of something
That will go on becoming vaster and vaster.
Even the greatest rivers
Start with a tiny spring.
But if one goes on working
If one goes on pouring one's energies
Soon it becomes a vast river.
And only big rivers can reach the ocean.


Man has to become an increasing river
Of faithfulness, of trust, of love
Only then is there a possibility to reach
The ocean, god, the ultimate.
Small faith is bound
To be lost somewhere on the way.
And people have such small faiths, like dewdrops
Just a little heat is enough and they evaporate.
Increasing faithfulness means
Whatsoever happens your faith remains unmoving.
Even if everything goes against it
Your faith remains unmoving.


There is a Sufi parable:
Junaid, the master of Al Hillaj Mansoor
Was seen with a woman by the side of a river.
The woman was pouring some liquid into a glass.
It appeared that he was drinking wine
Because the container was like that of wine.
A few people rushed to Al Hillaj
Caught hold of him and said
'Come here. You trust this man?'
They looked from far away
Hidden behind the trees
Al Hillaj saw the master drinking wine.
He laughed.
Those people said,'Now what do you say?'
He said,'My eyes must have gone wrong.
I don't trust my eyes but I trust my master!'


This is faith!
He cannot deny: He is seeing a woman pouring something
And Junaid is drinking
And he seems to be almost drunk.
But those people were not going to leave him.
They said,'Then you come close, come with us.'
They forced him to go there
But when they went there it was nothing:
The woman was nobody else
But the master's mother.
And there was no wine -- it was only a
Wine flask -- it was pure water.
But Al Hillaj said. 'Even if it had been wine
And the women had been a prostitute
I would have still stuck to my first statement
That my eyes are seeing something
Which is not there, which is not possible.
My eyes can go wrong; my master cannot go wrong.


If such trust is possible, then miracles happen
And miracles only happen with such trust.


Yoshimi means the lucky one.


It is really fortunate to be a sannyasin
It is a rare privilege. It is available to all
But very few will be able to receive it,
Only the lucky ones.
Feel grateful to god that you have been able
To gather enough courage to take this jump.
Feel grateful to existence
That it has brought you here
That something immensely valuable
Becomes possible now.


Sannyas is only a door to the divine
But if you are at the door
The divine is not far away.
Just go on remembering
That you have to go inwards, into the temple.
Because there are a few people who return
Even from the door -- the unlucky ones.
Prove that you are really a lucky one, Joshimi!


And Yoshime also gas another meaning;
It means watchfulness.
That has to be your method
The work upon yourself.


The definition of a sannyasin
Is one who is on guard, alert, aware.
Watchful of the world around


Watchful of the mind inside
Watchful of all kinds of thoughts, desires
Images that float in the mind
Watchful of the watcher too.
And that is the ultimate in watchfulness
In vigilance:  To be aware of
Awareness itself.


First become aware of the world --
Which is the easiest -- aware of the trees
And the birds and the sun and the moon.
Then become aware of your body


Then become aware of your  mind and
You are coming closer and closer to the centre.
These are all concentric circles around the centre.
Then become watchful of your feelings.
And then finally
Become watchful of your watching.


The day one is capable
Of watching one's watchfulness
Is the greatest day in life.
Paradise simply descends in you
Bliss starts showering like thousands of flowers.


A sannyasin has to become a song
A song in every possible way.
He has to be a celebration.
He has to live life in all its dimensions.
He has to be  a dance
He has to create music in his being.
Unless one creates music in one's being
Unless one starts living life as a dance
Unless one celebrates existence
There is no possibility of knowing god
Because god is the ultimate crescendo
Of dance, song, celebration


God is not for the sad people.
It is for those who are capable
Of love and laughter.
This existence is a tremendous play.
Don't take it seriously!
Take it with a song in your heart
Take it joyfully.
Move in the world with a light foot
With a laughter in your heart
And then suddenly the whole existence
Starts turning into a divine experience.
The mundane becomes extraordinary.


My sannyas is not renunciation of the world.
It is rejoicing about the world, in the world.


Everyone is here to become a proof
For god's existence
And unless one becomes a proof
For god's existence
Life is not fulfilled, life is empty and hollow
Meaningless, without any significance.


Become aware of it, that life is carrying
Something tremendously significant inside it
But it is only a seed at the moment.
Sannyas can become the right soil for it.
And in the right season, when the spring comes
You can bloom, you can release fragrance.
Only then is there contentment.
Otherwise people live in discontentment
And die in discontentment.
Their whole life is nothing
But an exercise in futility.


The sooner one becomes aware of it, the better
Because time is very short.
One never knows about tomorrow:
It may come, it may not come.
Hence everything has to be done now.


Now the real battle begins!
It is easy to fight with others.
The real fight is with one's own darkness
The real fight is with one's own ego.
The ego is the only evil, the only devil.
And if you can kill the devil
You become victorious.
But very few people enter into that fight.
They fight with everybody else in the world
They fight many kinds of battles
But the real battle remains unfought.


Sannyas means the beginning of the real war.
It is a war between
Your consciousness and your unconsciousness.
Your consciousness is very tiny
Just one-tenth of your being.
And the unconsciousness is vast
Nine-tenths of your being.


So be a mighty warrior
Only then can one hope to win.
But if one gives a good fight victory is certain.
It may take time, patience will be needed.
But victory has happened.
If it has happened to a few people
It can happen to everybody
Because we are all potentially the same.


Victory can be ugly if it is violent
If it is forced upon somebody; then it stinks
Stinks of blood, murder, death.
But victory can also be a fragrant phenomenon.
Then the process is totally different.
It has not to be forced on somebody.
You have not to conquer somebody
You have to conquer yourself
You have to become a master of your own being
Then victory is fragrant, then it has
The fragrance that is not of this earth
It has the fragrance of the beyond
It has divine fragrance.


The Buddha, the Christ, they are surrounded
With the aura, with that fragrance.
They are victorious people
really victorious people --
Not Alexander and Adolf Hitler.
Their victory is ugly.
Anything that is based on violence
Is going to be ugly.
Unless you have conquered all your ugly desires
Of destructiveness, of ego, of greed
Of jealousy, of hatred
You will not know what love is.
When all these ugly things
Have been dropped, transformed
You will be full of love


Buddha also conquers other people
But not with a sword, he conquers with his love.
Jesus also conquers.
His victory  is far more permanent than
The victory of Alexander the Great.
That is very tiny, momentary.
But the victory of Jesus
Will go down the centuries.
He will not be here
But his fragrance will continue.


The fundamental is
First to be a master of yourself
Then you know what love is.
And through love the whole world can be conquered.


Love -- that one word
Contains all that is worth having in life,
Worth possessing in life.
One can forget god, nothing is lost.
But if one forgets love then everything is lost.
If love is there, god is bound to happen
Because god is the ultimate peak
Of the experience of love.
But without love even god is not possible,
Without love nothing is possible:
No bliss, no benediction, no truth, no freedom.


Love is nectar
It gives you the experience of immortal life,
It is the bridge between time and eternity.


Peace is a by-product fo meditation.
It cannot be achieved directly.
If one tries to be peaceful
Then the peace will be false.
It will appear to be a flower
But it will not be a true flower
It won't have any fragrance.


Real peace
Arises only as a by-product of meditation
Hence only a man of meditation
Can be a man of peace.
The goal should be meditation
The effort should be for meditation.
And when you achieve meditation
When you become more and more calm and quiet
When you become more and more thoughtless
More and more conscious
Then suddenly peace explodes.
It is not that you achieve it
It comes as a gift from god, as a reward
For your coming to your centre.
You have left the circumference of the mind
And you have penetrated the very core
Or your being.


Make every possible effort to meditate
So that your name can become a reality.


There are two kinds of mercifulness.
One is when the other is in misery
And you feel sorry and you would like to help.
That is accidental.
You are not really merciful
Only in a certain situation are you affected.
If the other had not been in misery
If the other had not been in a sad situation
You would not have felt mercy.
It is not your state
It is only a momentary emotion.
It is sentimentality -- it is not of much value.


The second kind of mercy is really valuable.
Then it is a state of being.
It does not depend on other's misery
You are simply merciful.
Whether the other is in misery or not
Is irrelevant.
Even if the other is blissful
Still you are merciful
Still you are compassionate.
To be compassionate is your nature now
So you are simply compassionate
Irrespective of what is happening around.
Then only it is no more sentimentality
It is no more just a passing phase
An emotion, a good emotion.
Then it is something solid and substantial.
Then it is intrinsic, not accidental.


This second kind of mercy is possible
Only through deep meditation.
The first can be cultivated as a character
The second cannot be cultivated.
It comes as a consequence of deep inner search.
It is the ultimate result of an inner pilgrimage.


And one thing more: The first kind of mercy
Will make you egoistic, piously egoistic;
Very holy, but egoistic all the same.
And the holy ego is far more ugly
Than any other kind of ego.
The second kind of mercy
Will be absolutely egoless.
It can happen only when the ego has disappeared.
It blooms only when the ego is no more found.
The first kind of mercy you will find
In Christian missionaries and public servants
And the so-called do- gooders.
They are mischievous people.
They are exploiting other people's misery
For their own virtue, for their own paradise.
They are using others as stepping stones.
The second kind of mercy you will find
Only in a Christ or a Buddha or a Krishna --
People who are fully awakened.


I emphasise the second kind.
Make a clear distinction between the two
Because sometimes the pseudo coin
Can go on deceiving you for your whole life.


Nobody is born noble.
That idea is pure nonsense -- that a few people
Are born noble, aristocratic, royal.
That is utter nonsense.
Everybody is born alike
Everybody is born unconscious.
Nobility is attained when you become conscious.
Then one really becomes an aristocrat
An aristocrat of the soul,
One attains a certain aristocracy
A certain nobleness, a certain grace and beauty
But it comes through one's own efforts.
It is impossible to be noble
If you are unconscious.
In unconsciousness how can one expect to behave
In a noble way?
One is like a robot
And robots are not noble, cannot be:
Machines are machines.
It is only through becoming more conscious
That you come out of your robotlike existence
That glimpses of freedom, of love, of joy
Start arising in you.
And these are the things
Which transform your very being.
They give you a new form, a new flavour
A new fragrance.
Then you live in the world
But you are not of the world -- that is nobleness.
You move through the world
And all the fires of the world
But you keep your cool, it remains undisturbed.
That is undistractedness, that centredness
Is nobleness.



			

> [!info]
> Copyright 1964-1990 Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh)
>