---
section: Library
booktitle: "Tao: The Golden Gate, Vol 1"
booktype: "Discourses"
bookcode: "GGATE1"
dategiven: "18 June 1980 am"
place: " in Buddha Hall"
chapternum: "Chapter #8"
chaptertitle: "Now Here"
acode: "8006180"
shorttitle: "GGATE108"
audio: "Yes"
video: "Yes"
esttime: "0mins"
displaytitle: "Tao: The Golden Gate, Vol 1: Chapter #8"
---

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```
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The first question:
<p class="question">OSHO,
I AM A JUDGE. HAVE I ANY CHANCE OF EVER ENTERING NIRVANA? IF YOU ANSWER IS NO, THEN I CAN CHANGE MY PROFESSION; I CAN BECOME A DOCTOR. I AM ALSO TRAINED AS A HOMEOPATH.

JAGDIT SINGH,</p>


There is no record of any judge ever entering nirvana. Just because of you, the whole night I had to look in the Akashic records again! I could only find one thing in them:


Satan and St. Peter decided to hold a soccer game in paradise. It was to be hell versus heaven.


When everything had been arranged, St. Peter said to Satan, "Look, I can't be dishonest with you. There is no way that your side can win. All soccer players are simple, pure people and when they die, they all go to heaven. Heaven is full of soccer players."
"I thank you for your sincerity," replied Satan "but don't worry, we can defend ourselves."


When St. Peter had left, Satan's secretary said, "St. Peter is right -- we will lose the game. All the good soccer players go to heaven."
"Don't worry," said Satan. "Where do you think all the judges go?"


Jagdit Singh, changing your profession from judge to doctor is not going to help you either! About that also there is a reference in the Akashic records.


A doctor came to heaven's door. St. Peter looked at the guy, asked his profession and said, "Wrong door son. Please go to hell."


The doctor was puzzled, looked very confused and said, "But I went there first and they said, 'Go to the other door.'"
"I know," said St. Peter, "they meant the back door."
"But why?" asked the doctor.


St. Peter said, "That is the entrance for the suppliers."


This is not going to help, Jagdit Singh. Why don't you become a sannyasin? Then there will be no need to bother about nirvana because you will enter it immediately. Then it will not be a question of tomorrow. You can look at my sannyasins. Nobody is worried about nirvana -- they are already in it. To be a sannyasin means to be in nirvana. A sannyasin does not need to enter into nirvana; nirvana enters into him. Hence wherever he is nirvana is. You can throw him into hell, but he will be in nirvana; it will not make any difference at all. If your nirvana depends upon certain conditions it is not much of a nirvana.


Nirvana is a state of unconditional acceptance. Wherever you are, if you can accept your life with totality, with joy, with gratitude, if you can see your life as a gift, then nirvana is never a problem. The problem arises only because you don't accept your life, you reject life. And the moment you reject life you start looking for some other life and you become worried about whether it is going to be better than this life or not. It may be worse. That's what hell is: the fear of a worse life than this. And that is nirvana: the greed for a better life than this. But there is no other life; there is no hell, no heaven. Only fools are interested in such things.


E3ut you being an Indian are brought up with the idea of a geographical concept of heaven somewhere above and hell somewhere below. In fact, there is no below and no above. Existence is unlimited, unbounded; there is no bottom to it and no roof either. Something can be above the roof of Buddha Hall -- for example, this plane passing by; this is "above" the roof. You are below the roof and the ground, the floor, is below you and the earth is below the floor. But existence has no roof, no bottom; it is unbounded on all sides.


What Indian scriptures say about hell is nothing but talk about America! If right now you dig a hole wherever you are sitting here and go on digging you will reach to America, because the earth is round. But the Americans also think in the same geographical way, that hell is below. If they look into the hole, you will be in hell. You will think they are in hell and they will think you are in hell. And only my sannyasins will Laugh at the whole affair. Who is above and who is below?


These heaven/hell concepts have nothing to do with geography or space, and they don't have anything to do with time either. So it is not a question of tomorrows, not a question of something after death; it is a question of understanding, it is a question of meditation, it is question of becoming utterly silent, herenow. There is no other space than the here and no other time than the now. These two words contain the whole existence: "now", "here".


Swami Rama Teertha used to tell a beautiful parable:


There was a great philosopher; he was an absolute atheist, continuously arguing against God. Twenty-four hours a day he was concerned with destroying the idea of God. Whosoever came to him he would try to convince.


On the wall of his sitting room in big letters he had written "God is nowhere" just to start an argument with anybody. Whosoever the visitor was he was bound to ask him, "What do you mean by writing this?" It was impossible to overlook it -- such big, bold letters. The whole wall was covered with big letters: "God is nowhere." Everybody was bound to ask, "God is nowhere? What do you mean? Are you an atheist?" And that was enough to start the argument. And he was really very skillful at arguing.


Atheists are always more skillful as far as argumentation is concerned than the theists. Theists are believers; they are gullible people. Atheists believe in logic and nothing else, and logic knows only how to deny. Logic has no idea of how to say yes. The word "yes" does not exist in the logicians's mind, only "no".


Then a child was born to the great atheist, and the child was learning language. It was difficult for him to read the whole word "nowhere"; it was such a big word. One day he was trying to read "God is nowhere." Seeing that the word was too big, he divided it in two; he read instead "God is now here." "Nowhere" turned into "now here"! And he must have been in a certain beautiful space, in a certain silent space; he started thinking about now and here, he became interested in the phenomenon of now and here. "What is 'now'? What does it mean?" He had never experienced now and he had never experienced here.


And that is the case with millions of people in the world: they think of the yesterdays and the tomorrows; they never experience the now. They think of every other place; they never think, they never experience, they never taste what it means to be here.


This child opened some doors of the greatest mystery of life. The philosopher forgot about God, he forgot about arguing against God; his whole interest started revolving around now and here.


And there is only one way to know what is now and what is here, and that is meditation. One has to become utterly silent, because mind is always going either backwards or forwards; either it moves into memories or into imagination. It never stays here, it never remains in the now, for the simple reason that to be in the now means the death of the mind. It is afraid of the now, it is afraid of the present.


Slowly slowly he learned the art of being now and here. And the day he succeeded in being now and here he experienced God.


Jagdit Singh, my suggestion to you is forget about nirvana. Nirvana means something that will happen after this life -- don't be concerned about it. Be concerned about this moment, because this is the only true moment there is, and enter into it. And that very entrance is the entrance into nirvana. And once you have found it, nobody can take it away from you.


Then you can remain a judge, you can become a doctor, you can be whatsoever you want to be; it does not matter. There are great stories...

One Chinese parable says:


Lao Tzu used to send his disciples to learn the art of meditation from a butcher. The disciples were very puzzled -- why the butcher? And Lao Tzu would say, "You go and see. The man lives exactly the way one should live, always herenow. It does not matter what he is doing. He is not the doer at all; he is just a watcher, he is a witness. It is a role that he is playing -- he is acting as a butcher."


And he was no ordinary butcher; he had been especially appointed by the Emperor of China to his own kitchen.


The Emperor asked Lao Tzu, "How to learn to be herenow? -- because you are always talking about herenow."


Lao Tzu said, "You need not ask me; your butcher is the right person. Even I send many of my disciples to watch him."


The Emperor was shocked. He said, "My butcher! What does he know about it?"
Lao Tzu said, "You watch him work."


And the Emperor watched. And it was really a tremendously ecstatic experience even to watch him working. His instrument, his knife, was so sharp, so shining, as if it was absolutely new, as if he had brought it for the first time.


The King asked -- he was very interested in weapons -- he asked, "From where did you get this beautiful knife?"


He said, "This knife was given to me by my father who died forty years ago. For forty years I have been working with this knife, cutting animals with this knife."
"Forty years!" the King said. "And the knife looks so new so fresh!"


The butcher said, "There is an art to it. If you are doing everything watchfully, alert, conscious, then no rust gathers -- not only in you, not only on the inside, but even on the outside no rust gathers. I am fresh, my , knife is fresh. I am young, my knife is young. And I am I working as a meditation. This is just a role that I am playing."


A Zen master used to tell his disciples the story of a master thief who became enlightened...


So don't be worried about being a judge or a doctor -- even a thief can become enlightened. The question is not what you do, the question is how you do it. The question is not about the act but the consciousness out of which that act arises.


This is one of the most famous Zen stories. I love it tremendously.


The thief was known as a master thief -- no ordinary thief. Even the king respected him because never in his life was he caught. And everybody knew that he was the greatest thief in the country. In fact, his fame was such that people used to brag that "Last night the master thief entered our house," that "Our treasure has been stolen by the master thief." It was a privilege because the entry of the master thief meant you were really rich, because he would not go to any ordinary person, only kings and very rich people had the privilege of the master thief visiting them.


The thief was becoming old. His son said to him, "Now you are old and soon you will die. Teach me your art!"


The master thief said, "I was also thinking about it. But it is not an art, it is rather a knack. I cannot teach you, it cannot be taught, but it can be caught."


That's how religion is: it cannot be taught, it can only be caught. That's the difference between a teacher and a Master: the teacher teaches, the Master only makes himself available to be caught. You have to imbibe his spirit. If you only listen to his words you will miss him; if you start tasting his wine, only then will you understand him.


The thief said, "It is a knack; if you can catch it, I am ready to help you, I will make myself available to you. I had been wondering myself, but it is such a great skill -- like poets, real thieves are born not made. But one never knows unless one tries. You come along with me tonight."


The son followed. The son was young, healthy, very strong. The old man was really old, more than eighty. The old man arrived at a rich house. He broke the wall, he removed the bricks -- but the way he was doing it! And the young man was just watching, standing there and trembling. It was a cold night and the young man was perspiring and trembling. And he was so afraid: he was looking all around -- somebody might be coming. "And what kind of man is my father? He is doing everything so silently, so gracefully, as if this was our own house! No hurry, no worry. "


The father did not even look around even a single time. He entered the house, gestured to the son to follow. He followed trembling, perspiring, his whole body was just bathed in perspiration; it was flowing like water. He had never experienced this kind of perspiration even on hot summer days -- and it was a cold winter night, ice cold! And the old man was moving in the house, in the darkness, as if he had always lived there. He didn't stumble against anything.


He reached inside the house, he opened the innermost room. Then he opened a closet and told the son to enter the closet. The son entered the closet... and what the father did was unimaginable to the son. The father locked the closet -- the son was inside! -- shouted loudly, "Thief! Thief!" and escaped.


The whole house was awake, the neighborhood was awake. People rushed here and there; they looked all around inside the house. You can imagine the situation of the son! He thought, "This is the end. Finished! My father is mad! I should not have asked -- this is not for me. He was right to say that thieves are born not made. But is this a way to teach? If I stay alive I will kill this old man! I will go home and cut his head off immediately!"


He was really angry -- anybody would have been in his situation -- but there was no point in being angry. Right now something had to done and he could not think of anything. The mind simply stopped.


That's what meditation is: the mind simply stops. It cannot figure out what it is all about, what to do,


because all that it knows is useless; it has never been in such a situation before. And mind can only move again and again in the world of the known. Whenever anything unknown is encountered, mind stops. It is a machine. If you have not fed it the right information before, it cannot work, it cannot function.


Now this was such a new situation, the young man could not conceive what to do. There was nothing to do. And then a woman servant came with a candle in her hand looking around for the thief. A thief had certainly entered the house: the wall was broken, the door had been opened -- all the doors had been opened. The thief had entered the innermost room -- he must be hiding somewhere.


She opened the closet door to look in -- maybe he was hiding inside. She would not have opened the door of the closet, but something happened inside the closet, which was why she opened it. She heard some noise, some scratching noise as if a rat were biting clothes. She opened the door to look for the rat really. This was the young man making this scratching noise, he was doing it. And it had come to him spontaneously, it was not out of the mind. Seeing somebody entering with a light... he could see that somebody was inside the room, he could hear the footsteps, he could see the light outside; suddenly it was not so dark. The only way to get the doors opened was to do something. What to do? Out of nowhere, intuitively -- this is not out of intellect but out of intuition -- he started scratching like a rat and the door was opened. The woman looked inside with her candle. Again, out of intuition, out of the moment, he blew out the candle, pushed the woman aside and ran away.


The people followed -- almost a dozen people were following him carrying torches and lamps -- and it was certain he would be caught. Suddenly he came across a well. He took a rock and threw the rock into the well, then stood by the side of a tree to watch what happened. It was all HAPPENING, he was not doing it. All the people surrounded the well -- they thought the thief had jumped into the well. "Now there is no point in bothering about him on this cold night. In the morning we can see. If he is alive we will put him in the jail; if he is dead he is punished already." They went back.


The young man reached home. The father was fast asleep, snoring. He pulled his blanket aside and he said, "Are you mad or something?"


The father looked at him, smiled and said, "So you are back -- that's enough! No need to tell the whole story. You are a born thief! From tomorrow you start on your own. You have caught the spirit of it. I am not mad -- I gambled. Either you would be finished or you would come out of it proving that you have the intuitive insight -- and you have come out of it. No need to bother me at this moment in the night. Go to sleep. In the morning, if you feel like telling me, you can tell me. But I know what has happened -- if not the details, then the essence of it, and that's enough. That's my whole art, my son; you have learned it. And if I die tomorrow I will be dying happily because I will know I am leaving somebody who knows the art. This is how my father taught me -- this is the only way. One has to risk."


Even a thief can become enlightened. Even a thief can live in the moment, can drop out of the mind.


So I am not too concerned about what you are doing. That's why I never ask anybody, "What profession do you belong to? What you are doing?" Whosoever comes to me to be initiated I initiate, irrespective of his profession. Sometimes people themselves say, "Osho, before you initiate me let me tell you that I am a drunkard," that "I am a thief," that "I am a murderer" -- this and that -- that "I have just come out of the jail." I say to them, "Don't bother me with all these details. Whatsoever you have done in your sleep is all the same. Whether you have been virtuous or a sinner, whether you have been a saint or a devil incarnate, it does not matter."


Unconscious acts are unconscious acts; they are all the same. One man can dream that he is a sinner, a murderer; another can dream he is a great saint. In the morning both will find that they were dreaming -- all dreams are the same. So don't bother me at all.


Not only that, people have taken sannyas who are imprisoned From their jails they write to me: "We are imprisoned for life. Can we become sannyasins?" I say, "Why not? -- because everybody is imprisoned for life! A few are imprisoned outside, a few are imprisoned inside the prison; it is the same. You are in a smaller prison, others are in a bigger prison; it does not matter. But if you want to become a sannyasin, the only thing is you will have to learn the knack of being herenow You can become a sannyasin."


There are many prisoners who have taken sannyas, from almost all countries. I have given them sannyas. Of course, they cannot wear orange; they write to me. "It is impossible because of the prison rules; we have to wear a certain dress." I say, "No need to worry about it."


One prisoner wrote to me from Germany: "I will carry an orange handkerchief; that much is possible. I will keep your mala in my pocket. I cannot wear it -- it wouldn't be allowed." But I can understand; that's okay. He writes: "But I will meditate every day." And he has been meditating; for these two years he has been meditating regularly, again and again writing to me that "I am immensely happy. In fact, I feel it a great blessing that I have been imprisoned; if I was not imprisoned I may not have become your sannyasin. It is in the prison library that I came across one of your books."
Now the prison has become his door to nirvana.


Jagdit Singh, don't be worried. Don't be concerned about those Akashic records and the stories that I was telling you. There is no need to change your profession. If you want to change it there is no need to find any excuse you can change it. You can become a doctor, you can become anything you want, but don't make it something great, don't make it an ego trip. But start meditating.


If you can take a jump into sannyas you will have proved yourself a man of courage. Then right now you will be in nirvana. And I believe in nirvana now or never!

The second question:
<p class="question">OSHO,
YOU ARE TEACHING, US TO BELIEVE IN NOTHING. BUT WHY SHOULD I TRY TO DROP MY EGO WITHOUT BELIEVING THAT LIFE IS BETTER WITHOUT AN EGO? BEFORE I DROP MY EGO I CANNOT KNOW HOW LIFE IS WITHOUT AN EGO. THEREFORE I HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT LIFE IS BETTER WITHOUT AN EGO BEFORE I TRY TO DROP THE EGO. BUT I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, BECAUSE I SUPPOSE THAT LIFE WITHOUT AN EGO IS LIFE WITHOUT A WILL OF MY OWN. THE IDEA OF GIVING UP MY OWN WILL IS HORRIBLE TO ME. I CANNOT IMAGINE THAT ANYBODY WOULD DO THIS OF HIS OWN FREE WILL, BECAUSE MY EGO IS ALL I HAVE.
OSHO, PLEASE TALK TO US ABOUT THIS.

BERND SCHWEIGER.</p>


It happens all the time that I say one thing and you understand something else for the simple reason that I am talking from a state of no-mind and you are listening through the mind. It is as if a person who is awake is talking to a person who is fast asleep. Yes, even in sleep you can hear a few words, fragments of words, maybe even fragments of sentences. but you will not be able to understand exactly what is being said to you. You are bound to misunderstand.


That is one of the problems faced by all those people who have experienced something of the beyond. The beyond cannot he put into words. It remains inexpressible for the simple reason that you can understand only that which you have experienced.


I am not saying drop the ego; that is impossible. Even if you want to drop it you cannot drop it. It is impossible because the ego does not exist. How can you drop something which does not exist? You can only drop something which exists in the first place. But the ego is a false phenomenon; nobody has ever been able to drop it.


Then what do I mean when I say learn the secret of being egoless? I do not mean that you have to drop it but that you have to understand it. There is no question of belief.


Now the whole question has come out of your misunderstanding, but you are making it look so logical that anybody looking at your question will think, "Of course, how can you drop the ego without believing that life will be better without the ego?" And I say don't believe in anything. I repeat again: don't believe in anything. I am not saying that you should believe me and become egoless, I am simply saying -- sharing my own experience -- that the more I tried to understand the ego the more I became aware that it is non-existential. When I became fully conscious of it, it disappeared.


It disappears of its own accord. You don't drop it. If you drop it, then who will drop it? Then the ego will survive; then it will be the ego dropping another ego, dropping the gross ego. And the gross is not dangerous, the subtle ego is more dangerous. Then you will become a pious egoist, you will become a humble egoist, you will become a spiritual egoist. Then you will become an "egoless" egoist. And that is getting into more trouble because that is getting into more contradictions.


All that I am saying to you is very simple. Try to understand what this ego is. Just look at it, watch it. Become aware of all its subtle ways, how it comes in. And there are moments when it is not -- watch those moments also. Even you have those moments when it is not. It needs constant pedaling -- it is like a bicycle. If you go on pedaling it, it can go on moving; if you stop pedaling it... how far can it go without pedaling? Maybe a few feet, maybe one furlong, two furlongs, but then it is bound to fall.


The ego needs to be constantly nourished. There are moments when you forget to nourish it and it disappears. For example, seeing a beautiful sunset it disappears because the sunset possesses you so totally. It is so beautiful, it is so extraordinary, so exquisite, it fills you with wonder and awe; for a moment you forget completely that you are, only the sunset is, and the clouds and the luminous colors on the clouds, and the birds coming back to their nests, and the day ending, entering into a silent night; as the sun starts disappearing below the horizon, something in you stops.


It happened to Ramakrishna -- his first experience of egolessness. He was only thirteen. He was coming home from the field -- he was a poor man's son and he lived in a small village. He was passing by the lake. A silent evening, the sunset, and there was nobody on the lake; his coming to the lake... There was a big crowd of white cranes sitting by the side of the lake. They suddenly flew up -- it was so sudden, as if out of nowhere -- and against the backdrop of a black cloud which was shining like velvet against the setting sun, those white cranes in a row flashed before his eyes like lightning. It was a moment, a tremendous moment!


He fell on the ground. He was so possessed by the beauty of it he became unconscious. He had to be carried home by others. After one hour somebody found him Lying down there on the shore of the lake. It took six hours for him to be brought back to consciousness. When he came back to consciousness he I am not saying drop the ego; that is impossible. Even if you want to drop it you cannot drop it. It is impossible because the ego does not exist. How can you drop something which does not exist? You can only drop something which exists in the first place. But the ego is a false phenomenon; nobody has ever been able to drop it.


Then what do I mean when I say learn the secret of being egoless? I do not mean that you have to drop it but that you have to understand it. There is no question of belief.


Now the whole question has come out of your misunderstanding, but you are making it look so logical that anybody looking at your question will think, "Of course, how can you drop the ego without believing that life will be better without the ego?" And I say don't believe in anything. I repeat again: don't believe in anything. I am not saying that you should believe me and become egoless, I am simply saying -- sharing my own experience -- that the more I tried to understand the ego the more I became aware that it is non-existential. When I became fully conscious of it, it disappeared.


It disappears of its own accord. You don't drop it. If you drop it, then who will drop it? Then the ego will survive; then it will be the ego dropping another ego, dropping the gross ego. And the gross is not dangerous, the subtle ego is more dangerous. Then you will become a pious egoist, you will become a humble egoist, you will become a spiritual egoist. Then you will become an "egoless" egoist. And that is getting into more trouble because that is getting into more contradictions.


All that I am saying to you is very simple. Try to understand what this ego is. Just look at it, watch it. Become aware of all its subtle ways, how it comes in. And there are moments when it is not -- watch those moments also. Even you have those moments when it is not. It needs constant pedaling -- it is like a bicycle. If you go on pedaling it, it can go on moving; if you stop pedaling it... how far can it go without pedaling? Maybe a few feet, maybe one furlong, two furlongs, but then it is bound to fall.


The ego needs to be constantly nourished. There are moments when you forget to nourish it and it disappears. For example, seeing a beautiful sunset it disappears because the sunset possesses you so totally. It is so beautiful, it is so extraordinary, so exquisite, it fills you with wonder and awe; for a moment you forget completely that you are, only the sunset is, and the clouds and the luminous colors on the clouds, and the birds coming back to their nests, and the day ending, entering into a silent night; as the sun starts disappearing below the horizon, something in you stops.


It happened to Ramakrishna -- his first experience of egolessness. He was only thirteen. He was coming home from the field -- he was a poor man's son and he lived in a small village. He was passing by the lake. A silent evening, the sunset, and there was nobody on the lake; his coming to the lake... There was a big crowd of white cranes sitting by the side of the lake. They suddenly flew up -- it was so sudden, as if out of nowhere -- and against the backdrop of a black cloud which was shining like velvet against the setting sun, those white cranes in a row flashed before his eyes like lightning. It was a moment, a tremendous moment!


He fell on the ground. He was so possessed by the beauty of it he became unconscious. He had to be carried home by others. After one hour somebody found him Lying down there on the shore of the lake. It took six hours for him to be brought back to consciousness. When he came back to consciousness he started crying. And they asked, "Why are you crying? You should be happy -- you have come back to consciousness."


He said, "No, I am crying because I have come back to the ordinary world. I was not unconscious. I had moved to a higher plane of consciousness, I had moved to some new plane. I don't know what it was, but I was not there and still there was great joy. I have never tasted such joy!"


That was his first experience, his first SATORI: a moment of egolessness. Then he started seeking and searching for it deliberately, consciously. He would go to the lake again and again in the morning, in the evening, in the night, and it started happening again and again more easily.


It happens to you too; it has happened to everybody. God comes to everybody. You may have forgotten him; he has not forgotten you -- he cannot. It is not only that you are searching for him; he is also groping for you, he is also searching for you.


I am not telling you to drop the ego, I am telling you to understand it, to see it. Seeing it, it disappears. And see and become aware of those moments when it disappears of its own accord. Making love, it disappears. In a deep orgasm, it disappears; you melt, merge into existence. The wave again becomes the ocean; it is no more separate, it falls back into the ocean. It is only for a moment. Remain conscious of that moment and you will see the beauty of it. Once you have seen the beauty of egoless moments, then it will be easy for you to see the ugliness of the ego, the misery of the ego.


You need not believe me, I am simply inviting you to experience it. I am utterly against belief -- belief is the cause of destroying religion on the earth. It is belief that has made religions false and pseudo.
Now listen to your question again, Schweiger.


You say: OSHO, YOU ARE TEACHING US TO BELIEVE IN NOTHING.

Absolutely true.

BUT WHY SHOULD I TRY TO DROP MY EGO...?


Who has said this? You must have heard it, that I can understand, but I have not said it.


A young man went to a sex therapist for advice about his staying power. "Ah yes, " said the therapist. "Premature ejaculation is quite a common problem for many young men. It is entirely due to overeagerness and there is a definite cure."
"What is that, doctor?" asked the young man.
"Next time you go to bed with a woman, imagine that you are about to eat a delicious meal in a gourmet restaurant. Imagine every aspect of the meal, from the soup to the coffee.
"Begin with the soup... imagine it steaming in the bowl... taste each spoonful. Next, order the wine, perhaps a rose..smell the bouquet of the wine, look at it sparkling with each sip. Imagine the main course... perhaps a mushroom-garnished steak with a baked potato, sour cream and chives and a fresh green salad. Eat it very slowly, tasting each bite. After the main course order dessert... perhaps a chocolate mousse or a pecan pie with whipped cream. And then... you are ready for your coffee... Brazilian, French roast, or maybe cappuccino. Then you can relax and feel the contentment of having enjoyed a very satisfying meal.
"By the time you have enjoyed such a banquet in your imagination your problem will disappear. You will have such an orgasm, such fulfillment -- together! "


The young man thanked the therapist and went away, delighted. That same evening in bed with his woman friend, they began making love. So he started to fantasize. He pictured the restaurant in his mind, sat down at the table, and called out, "Hey, waiter, we'll have the tomato soup... and a cup of coffee!"

You may have heard it, but I have not said it!


You say: BEFORE I DROP MY EGO I CANNOT KNOW HOW LIFE IS WITHOUT AN EGO.


You have known it many times already. Nobody is so poor... I have never come across a man who has never known a few moments of it. Just try to remember. Or now, if you cannot remember, just try every day to watch. Soon you will be able to see a few moments which are without ego. Even this moment, if you are not too concerned about your question, this moment can be without ego; it is so for everybody else. It may not be for you because you will be so disturbed that I am destroying such a logical question of yours, that I am avoiding the real question, that I am trying to evade it, that I am not being logical. I never am, because what I am trying to indicate is basically supra-logical.


If you just try to listen to me as if this were not Schweiger's question but some other fool's -- some idiot has asked this, not you -- then even this moment can be of tremendous beauty and you can experience egolessness. And then you can compare. Only your own experience and comparison will make it possible for you to decide. Who am I to decide for you? I never decide for anybody else.

The third question:
<p class="question">OSHO, I AM GOING BACK TO THE WEST. PLEASE TELL ME A FEW JOKES ABOUT THERAPISTS.

Prem Elli,

[AT THIS POINT THERE WAS A POWER FAILURE AND THE LIGHTS WENT OUT IN BUDDHA HALL.]

IT is night.... You see how miracles happen!</p>


A therapist is walking down the street when a woman with a basket filled with flowers comes to him and says, "Do you want to buy flowers, sir?"
"No, thank you."
"But don't you want to take flowers to the woman you love?"
"Stop this, lady. I'm a married man!"


An old therapist visits another therapist. "Friend," he says, "I have a problem. I am eighty years old and I still run after young girls."
"Well, your case is quite common. It happens to almost everyone at your age," replies the other shrink.
"But, you see, I have forgotten why I'm after them!"

In his study a psychotherapist is laughing.
"What are you laughing at?" asks his wife.
"Oh, nothing special, dear. It is just that I love to tell jokes to myself, and this last one was new!"

And the last:


A very old shrink comes to a prostitute. They agree on the price and the old man starts undressing himself. He takes off his jacket, tie and shirt, and throws them all out of the window. As he holds his trousers in his hand, ready to throw them out of the window, the prostitute grabs him by the arm and says, "Why are you doing that? When we are finished you cannot go naked on the street!"
"Well," answers the old shrink, "you see, darling, by the time I come, these clothes will he out of fashion!"

The fourth question:
<p class="question">OSHO,
FIRST A JOKE:

TWO MADMEN WENT INTO A PUB AND WHILE LOOKING AROUND FOR A PLACE TO SIT THEY SAW THEMSELVES IN A BIG MIRROR ON THE OPPOSITE WALL. ONE MADMAN SAID TO THE OTHER, "HEY, LOOK AT THOSE TWO GUYS OVER THERE. THEY LOOK SO FAMILIAR TO ME. LET'S GO OVER AND SAY HELLO TO THEM."
AS THEY START MOVING, HOWEVER, THE OTHER MADMAN SAYS, "NEVER MIND, THEY ARE ALREADY COMING TO SEE US!"

THIS JOKE SAYS A LOT ABOUT HOW I HAVE BEEN FEELING SINCE I STARTED WORK TWO MONTHS AGO. THE CLOSER I COME TO YOU, THE CLOSER I COME TO MYSELF, AND VICE VERSA. YET WHEN I FEEL CLOSE TO YOU SOMETIMES GREAT FEAR ARISES. COULD I BE TOO MUCH AFRAID OF LOVE?
PLEASE COMMENT.

Prem Rajendra.</p>


LOVE CERTAINLY CREATES GREAT FEAR because we have been brought up to hate, not to love. Our whole conditioning is against love, but the strategy is very subtle and very few people become aware of the phenomenon that we are brought up to hate. The Hindu hates the Mohammedan, the Mohammedan hates the Christian. the Christian hates the Jew. The religions all hate each other. The theist hates the atheist, the atheist hates the theist. All political ideologies are based on hatred. Communists hate fascists. fascists hate socialists. All nations are rooted in hatred; they all hate each other. This world is full of hatred. Your blood, your bones, your very marrow are full of hatred. Even if sometimes you seem to be united you are always united AGAINST something, against the common enemy, never otherwise. It is not a union of love.


Adolf Hitler was aware of this psychology. He writes in his autobiography, MEIN KAMPF, that people are not united because of love -- love has no power; all power comes through hatred. Create hatred and they will become united. And I can fully understand his insight. He may have been a lunatic, but sometimes lunatics have great insights. This is a great insight into mob psychology.


He says in another place, "If you want your country to be ready and alert, always keep them full of the fear that they are going to be attacked, that the war is just knocking on the doors, that everybody surrounding the nation is your enemy. Whether they are enemies or not does not matter; if they are, good; if they are not, still, invent, propagate, that they are enemies. only then will your country be united."


Hindus become united if there is a fear of the Mohammedans. Mohammedans become united if they are afraid that Hindus are going to attack. India becomes united if the fear arises that Pakistan is getting ready for war. Russia goes on piling up more and more atom bombs, hydrogen bombs and whatnot, just out of the fear that America is getting ready for war. And America goes on piling up the same atom bombs, hydrogen bombs, in the fear that Russia is getting ready for war. This whole world seems to live out of fear and hatred.


Love has been destroyed. For centuries, for thousands of years, your love has been paralyzed and poisoned, so whenever love arises in you, your whole conditioning goes against it; it creates trembling in you, it creates fear in you. If it is pseudo then there is no problem, you can manage. But if it is real, if it is authentic, then certainly you are going to be tremendously afraid of it, as if you are being thrown into a fire.


Something very strange has happened to man. Love is man's intrinsic nature and without love nobody ever grows, without love nobody ever blooms, flowers, without love nobody can ever feel fulfilled, contented. Without love there is no God. God is nothing but the ultimate experience of love. Hence, because your love is pseudo -- and you can manage only pseudo love because it creates no fear in you -- your God is also pseudo. The Christian God, the Hindu God, the Jewish God, these are all false gods. God cannot be Hindu and cannot be Christian and cannot be Jewish. Can love be Hindu? Can love be Christian? Can love be Jewish? But there are many books on "Christian love".


It seems that the whole earth has become a madhouse. Soon you will find books on Christian roses, Hindu marigolds, Buddhist lotuses. If love can be Christian, then why not roses? Everything that is false is manageable. Marriage is manageable, love is not. If you want to remain in control without any fear, than go on playing with toys; then real things are not for you.


But if you have come here, Rajendra, then all toys have to be broken. That's my whole work: to destroy all toys, to make you aware that you have played with toys your whole life, that you are not yet mature, you are still childish. And remember, to be childish is ugly; to be childlike is a totally different phenomenon. To be childish means to be retarded; then one goes on playing with toys, paper boats and sandcastles.


If one is really mature, integrated, then one is childlike, innocent, full of wonder and awe, sensitive to the beauty of existence, so sensitive that his whole life becomes an overflowing of love. You are surrounded by such a beautiful existence and if your heart does not dance with it you can't be said to be alive. You must be dead, you must be living a posthumous existence, you must be already in your grave. And I am trying to pull you out of your grave. I am calling to you, "Lazarus, come out of your grave!" And if you have lived for a long time in the grave... Graves are comfortable, very comfortable places; in fact, there is nothing more comfortable than the grave. Nothing ever happens in a grave, no fear, because there is no longer any death possible; no disease, no illness, no old age. You cannot be cheated, you cannot be deceived, you cannot be robbed, you cannot go bankrupt. You are safe, secure.


Life is insecure. Life basically is dangerous. And I teach you how to be alive, how to live dangerously, because that is the only way to live; there is no other way. If you want to live safely, comfortably, that simply means you are desiring death, you are suicidal, you are a coward, escapist.


Your feeling is true. You have come across something immensely significant. Now don't turn back.


You say:... WHEN I FEEL CLOSE TO YOU SOMETIMES GREAT FEAR ARISES.


Let it arise! That means the beginning of life. Accept it. Go through it. And it will not harm you; it will help you -- it will make you stronger than ever. If you can go through the fear consciously, fear will disappear and you will come out of the fire of it purer, like pure gold.


Love is the death of the ego, hence the fear. The ego is very much afraid of going into love. It can pretend to, but it cannot go into love. It can come only up to a certain point; beyond that it becomes afraid. Then it starts shrinking back, turning back. Anybody who has ever been in love knows it.


And with me, of course, Rajendra, it is going to be far deeper than it can be with an ordinary love. The love between a disciple and the Master is the greatest love existence has ever known. It is trust, it is trusting the unknowable. It is going with a madman into the uncharted sea, leaving the shore behind where all the security was. Getting into a love relationship with a Master means in the worldly eyes going mad.


Jesus came once in the early morning to a lake. A fisherman has just thrown his net, the sun just on the horizon. A beautiful morning: the birds singing and the silent lake and the silence and the freshness... And Jesus put his hand on the shoulder of the fisherman. The fisherman looks back. For a moment no word is uttered by Jesus or by the fisherman. Jesus simply looks into his eyes: the man falls in love. Something has transpired.


Jesus says, "How long are you going to waste your life in catching fish? Come along with me! I will show you the way to catch God."


The man must have been of immense courage. He threw his net in the lake. He didn't even pull the net out. He followed Jesus without asking a single question, without asking, "Who are you and where are you leading me?"


The psychologists will say that he was hypnotized. If it is hypnosis, then it is available only to the very fortunate ones. It is not hypnosis. In fact, he was not hypnotized because the word "hypnosis" comes from a root which means sleep. He was awakened -- he was asleep before. His whole life he was just catching fish; that was sleep. Now this man has stirred a new longing in him, a new desire; a new star has risen in his heart. He would like to go with this man. And without any question he followed him.


When they were just going outside the town, a man came running. He told the fisherman, "Where are you going? Have you gone mad? This man is mad! Come home! And, moreover, your father who was ill is dead so we have to make arrangements for his last rites and rituals . "


For the first time the fisherman spoke to Jesus. He said, "Can I be allowed to go home just for three days to fulfill my duties as a son to my dead father?"


Jesus said, "Don't be worried. There are so many dead people in the town -- they will take care of it. The dead will bury the dead. You come along with me. If you come with me then there is no going back. If you have chosen me then there is no going back. Come along with me!"


And the man followed. The person who had come to inform him stood there amazed. "What is happening? His father is dead and this man is following a madman! "


Jesus was known as being mad. Buddha was known as being mad. Mahavira was known as being mad. And in a way they look mad to people because their ways are so different, so diametrically opposite to the worldly people.


I am a madman and, Rajendra, you have come and fallen in love with me. There is no going back, fear or no fear. Gather courage! You have to come with me; the journey has already started. Even if you go back you will not find the old shore again. Even if you go back, those old toys will not be of any help anymore; you are finished with them, you will know they are toys. Now the real has to be found, has to be inquired into. And it is not very far away either -- it is within you.


Falling in love with a Master means really falling in love with your ultimate nature, falling in love with your Tao. Hence your joke is beautiful.


Two madmen went into a pub and while looking around for a place to sit they saw themselves in a big mirror on the opposite wall. One madman said to the other, "Hey, look at those two guys over there. They look so familiar to me. Let's go over and say hello to them. "


As they start moving, however, the other madman says, "Never mind, they are already coming to see us!"


The closer you come to me the closer you will be to yourself. The day you are dissolved in me you will be dissolved in yourself. I will disappear immediately. I am just a device, just an excuse to dissolve. Suddenly you will find yourself, you will discover yourself.


The function of the real Master is to help you to discover yourself, to help you to be yourself. And unless you are yourself you are not free and you cannot know what bliss is and you cannot know what truth is and you cannot know what God is.

The last question:
<p class="question">OSHO,
A MASTER
SURRENDERING TO THE BIRDS!
THANKS FOR THE LESSON.

PREM PRABHATI,</p>


THE BIRDS are far more intelligent than the so-called people. The birds are never stupid -- they cannot be, because they don't have schools, colleges, universities. The birds are never mediocre -- they cannot be, because they are not part of any church, any religion, any sect, any belief, any dogma. They are free of all nonsense; they are very sensitive, they are not foolish. It is only man who falls from Tao.


The whole existence moves according to Tao, except man. And why does man fall? -- for the simple reason that man is the only conscious being; it is his privilege to be conscious. Now, consciousness is a double-edged sword. If you use it rightly you will enjoy Tao far more deeply than any bird, than any tree, than any river, than any star. But if you are not conscious you will fall from Tao; you will be miserable -- more miserable than any bird, than any tree, than any river, than any star.


The birds are not miserable -- they cannot be, because they cannot go against Tao. They have no egos, they simply follow the Tao; it is a natural phenomenon. They cannot understand it, they cannot be conscious of it. Their bliss is unconscious.


Man is conscious hence either he will be very miserable or he will be very consciously blissful. Either he will become an idiot or he will become a Buddha. And you have to choose between the two, you cannot simply remain in between. You cannot say, "Why can't I remain just like a bird or a flower or a river or a mountain?" You cannot. Either you will be an idiot or you will be a Buddha. Either you have to fall below nature or you have to rise above nature. The birds are really in a beautiful space. You can also be in the same space -- and in a far better way, in a far deeper way.


Surrender to nature, that's the lesson. Surrendering to nature means surrendering to Tao.


You cannot believe that you can be Buddhas; because you are living such idiotic lives, it seems impossible. Even Jesus' parents could not believe, Buddha's father and wife could not believe, Mahavira's brother, wife, daughter could not believe that he'd attained. You are living such an idiotic life, in your darkness how can you conceive that there is a possibility of attaining light?
I have heard:


In 1912, after his inauguration, Woodrow Wilson visited an old deaf grand-aunt.
"What are you doing for a living now, Woodrow?" she asked.
"I'm President," he bellowed into her earhorn.
"President of what?"
"President of the United States!"
"Woodrow, don't be silly!"


She cannot believe that this Woodrow can be the President of the United States. But this is not something special -- anybody can be the President of the United States. But if Woodrow had said "I have become Jesus Christ!" then she would have really laughed. She would not have even said, "You are silly"; she would have said, "You have gone mad! You just see a psychotherapist or get yourself admitted to a mad asylum. What nonsense you are talking!"


Birds are intelligent people. And here in this Buddhafield they become more and more full of the vibe that sometimes you miss; they go on drinking it. They are not aware, certainly, but they drink to the full.


A family was moving from one house to another in a small city in the interior of Brazil. They were moving by bullock cart. All the furniture was piled high and tied with ropes. On the very top was the parrot in his cage.


As the cart moved along the rough road it occasionally hit a hole in the road. Each time a hole was hit, the parrot's cage fell off and someone would rush to pick it up. Then the cage was placed back on top of the huge pile of furniture.


By the fifth fall, the parrot was very irritated. When he fell again the sixth time he exclaimed in frustration while frantically arranging his feathers, "Look... do something! Give me the fucking address and I'll walk there!"
			

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