---
section: Library
booktitle: "Nirvana: The Last Nightmare"
booktype: "Discourses"
bookcode: "NIRVAN"
dategiven: "20 February 1976 am"
place: " in Buddha Hall"
chapternum: "Chapter #10"
chaptertitle: "Living in nirvana"
acode: "7602200"
shorttitle: "NIRVAN10"
audio: "Yes"
video: "No"
esttime: "85mins"
displaytitle: "Nirvana: The Last Nightmare: Chapter #10"
---

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<p class="question">DURING ONE OF YOUR LECTURES WE LEARNED THAT IF WE TRY TO LEAVE OUR EGO JUST BY TRYING TO BE HUMBLE FOR EXAMPLE, THEN THE EGO COMES THROUGH HUMILITY. WE ALSO LEARNED THAT THE ONLY WAY TO GET RID OF THE EGO IS MEDITATION. BUT DOESN'T THE EGO COME THROUGH THAT ALSO? I ASK THIS BECAUSE I'VE SEEN LIVE EXAMPLES IN THE ASHRAM.</p>


LET me answer you through an anecdote:
"A psychologist was giving a young man some personality tests. He drew a vertical line and asked, 'What does this make you think of?'
'Sex,' said the young man.
Next the psychologist drew a circle. 'and what does this make you think of?'
'Sex,' said the young man again.
The psychologist drew a star. 'and this?' he asked.
'Why, sex of course,' the young man said.
The psychologist put down his pencil. 'In my opinion,' he said, 'you have an obsession about sex.'
'I have an obsession!' protested the young man. 'for goodness' sake, who's been drawing all those off-colour pictures?'"


If you are obsessed with the ego, wherever you go you will find live examples of it, and you will think others are being egoistic -- it is your projection. Once you become humble, the whole world becomes humble. Suddenly, the ego not only disappears from you, it disappears simultaneously from the whole world.


To a non-egoistic person, the ego never comes across. Not that others become egoless because he has become egoless, but because he is egoless, he cannot see the egos of others. It simply disappears for him. It is your attitude.


So the first thing to remember is, whatsoever you come across, first try to find the causes within you. Don't be worried why others are egoistic. Let them be if they are. They will have enough punishments for their egos; their own egos will be punishing them enough. You need not be worried.


Whenever you see that somebody is egoistic, immediately turn within, close your eyes, and try to find out the cause in you. That is going to help. If you find a cause within yourself, it can be dropped, it can be transformed. And if you become egoless, suddenly you become tremendously blissful.


Why be worried about others? Just think of you. Be a little more selfish. You are trying to be too unselfish, too altruistic. Be a little more selfish. Think of your own being and of your own wastage of life.


Whatsoever you come across, the more the possibility is that somewhere, deep hidden, that is your problem.


Watch it in this way. Whenever you become angry, it is not because the others have created anger in you. It was already there; it may have been in a dormant state. The others can only provoke that which is already there. Their insults cannot create anger in you. If it is not there, insults cannot create it. Insults can only bring it out if it is there already. Anger is not created by anybody else; it is there or it is not there. And if nobody is going to create the anger, then you will start trying to find some excuse.


I have seen people angry with their shoes, throwing them in anger. I have seen people angry with the doors, slamming them in anger. What has the door done to you? What can the shoe do to you? But you cannot find human objects. Nobody has insulted you, nobody has become an excuse for you, and you are bubbling with anger. You are already on the verge of explosion -- anything will do.


Everything that you come across in others is more or less a projection of your own mind. This is the basic religious attitude. If you think it is coming from the other, that is the political attitude. That's why a politician goes on changing others. A revolution is needed -- in the society, not in himself. The world has to be changed, only then can he live peacefully.


The politician can never live peacefully; it is impossible. The world is not going to be changed. It is not that easy. Your life is short, and the world has remained almost the same and it is going to remain almost the same. Only you can change, because only you can become conscious.


Consciousness is revolution. Consciousness is transformation. So become conscious within yourself.


If you find somebody else as egoistic, thank him immediately. He has helped you to become aware of your own ego. Be grateful to him and forget all about him. Now go within. Now try to find out where the cause lies -- why you felt that this man is egoistic. Somewhere your own ego has been hurt.
<p class="question">EVERY TIME I THINK I WANT TO DO SOMETHING, THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE HAPPENS AND I FEEL AS IF I AM GOING CRAZY. IT FEELS AS IF I HAVE NO MORE POWER OVER WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME.</p>


Nobody has -- because nobody is. The power is possible if you are there. You are not there. The whole is. These individual egos are not there. These are false entities, just illusions. An illusion cannot have power. That which is not, that which does not exist, how can it be powerful? Naturally, it is impotent.


So the first thing to be understood: the ego is impotent.


The whole is omnipotent; the part is impotent. But the part is impotent only if it tries to be separate from the whole. Once it dissolves itself into the whole, it becomes the whole. Then it is no more impotent; then that part also becomes omnipotent.


If you are trying to do something, you will feel helpless. Life happens; it has nothing to do with doing. In the very effort you are creating trouble for yourself. Don't try to swim upstream. Then you will feel as if the river is fighting you. It is not the river.


The river is completely unaware of you. The river is completely unconcerned with you. The river is not doing anything to you; the river is not being nasty to you. Only you are trying to swim upstream, hence you feel the river is going against you.


If you start floating with the river, all enmity disappears from the river. Not that it was coming from the river; it was coming from you. If you are trying to do something, the opposite will happen. That is the misery of human ego; that is the hell.
I have heard one beautiful story:
"An ascetic, a great ascetic, who lived his whole life as a celibate, who remained virgin, who was very much against sex and whose whole life was just an effort to fight against sex, against love, died. His chief disciple could not survive the shock; after just a few hours he also died.


When the chief disciple reached the other world he could not believe his eyes; he was shocked. The master was sitting there -- the great ascetic -- and Marilyn Monroe was sitting in his lap, almost naked, kissing and hugging the man! He was very shocked, but then, even in his dense head, understanding arose. He thought, 'Of course, god is just, and my great master has been well rewarded for all his austerities.'


So he went and touched the feet of his master and said, 'Master, now I can believe that god is just. In heaven you have been well rewarded for all your austerities, tapascharya, that you did in your life.'


The master looked very angry, and with deep condemnation he said, 'You blockhead! We are not in heaven and I am not being rewarded -- she is being punished.' "


The opposite is bound to happen. The ascetic is going to meet Marilyn Monroe; it is going to happen. The ascetic has created the whole thing himself.


In India there are many stories of great rishis, great seers. I don't see why they have been called great seers, because they seem almost blind. The stories are that whenever those great seers were deep in their austerities, in their fasts, in their sadhana, beautiful women from the other world would come; apsaras, heavenly damsels would come and try to seduce them.


It seems almost impossible. Why should it happen? Why is the other world so interested in seducing poor seers? And who is managing this whole nonsense? They are doing austerities to get out of the world, to stop the wheel of sansar; they are passing through the nightmare of nirvana, they are trying to become desireless -- why are they being punished? Why do beautiful women come to them and try to seduce them?


But still, the stories are logical. Nobody is sending those beautiful women. There is nobody to send them. There are no beautiful women to be sent. They are fighting upstream.


The more you fight with sex, the more your fantasy becomes real. The more you avoid sex, the more you fight with it, the more you go against it, the more your own dreaming creates damsels of the other world around you. It is your own upstream effort.


I'm not saying that transcendence of sex is not possible.


It is possible, but it is possible.... Almost always it is possible, but it is possible only if you flow with the stream, never against the stream. If you are not fighting with the stream, things will happen that you always wanted to happen, but because you wanted, they were not happening.


There is a proverb that man proposes and god disposes. But why should god be so against man? Why should he be so cruel? There is no god to dispose anything, and if there is, he cannot be so cruel as to dispose your poor desires. You don'task much. You ask almost nothing, trivia. Why should he dispose? He can't be so miserly.


But the real thing is: the moment you propose, in your very proposal you have created the disposal. You are fighting against the stream. Now you are moving upstream, and you will feel as if the river is moving against you.


Start floating with the river, and suddenly you will see the river is taking you to the ocean. And it is not against; it is very friendly, it is very lovely. No need to swim even, no need to make any effort -- effortlessly just float and the river takes you. Don't waste your energy.


The question is: EVERY TIME I THINK I WANT TO DO SOMETHING, THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE HAPPENS.


It will happen. It is your doing. Please stop proposing. Rather, allow happenings to happen. Move with things. Don't bring your will and your ego. The whole is vast and you are a tiny part. Accept this. Dissolve in the whole, merge yourself in the whole. Don't try to create an illusion that you are separate. You are not. Once this illusion is dropped....


And that is what I mean when I say drop the ego. Ego is nothing but the illusion of separation from the whole. Humbleness is nothing but a reunion with the whole, a remarriage with the whole. The ego is a divorce; humbleness is a remarriage, a reunion, unio mystica -- when you are united with the original source.


Then all that you always wanted to happen starts happening, but it never happens till you stop wanting.


This is the dilemma. If you go on wanting, your very want will create a situation in which it is not going to happen. And of course, the mind will say, 'Make more effort.' The mind will say, 'This time you lost; next time bring more willpower.'


Willpower is a dirty word. The greatest stupidity there is, is the idea of willpower. The will belongs to the whole; it doesn't belong to the part. My leg cannot have its own will. If it tries to have its own will, it will be paralysed. My hand cannot have its own will. The whole, my whole body, me, can have a will.


We are just the hands and legs of the whole. We cannot have wills -- only the whole. The whole wills, and everything happens to us.


Once you accept this, all effort, all struggle, is gone then. One moves effortlessly. All weight, all heaviness from the head disappears, all headache disappears. In fact, the head itself disappears. Then life is an ecstasy, a continuous bliss, an eternal celebration, a benediction.


But you go on trying to do something. It is exactly there, precisely there, where you miss. And the more you miss, the more you desire -- a vicious circle is created.
"Over a friendly game of chess, Father Shaughnessy said to Rabbi Ginsberg, 'Tell me Rabbi, have you ever tasted ham? Be truthful now.'
'Once,' said the rabbi, reddening slightly, 'when I was in college, I must admit curiosity overcame me and I had a ham sandwich. But tell me Father, be truthful now. Did you ever perhaps with a girl?...'


It was Father Shaughnessy's turn to blush. He said, 'I must confess that once in college, before I was ordained, I did have a little.'


Silence fell, and the Father said with a sad smile, 'It is better than ham, isn't it?"'


The moment you fight with anything, you give it tremendous power. The moment you fight with anything, you give it tremendous attraction. The moment you fight with anything, it becomes infinitely inviting.


Sex is not as beautiful as people who have denied themselves think. In fact, if sex is completely allowed, totally free, sooner or later one gets fed up with it. Already it is happening in the West. People are fed up with sex; hence the attraction for drugs. And because the governments go on denying drugs  -- the same as they were doing with sex before -- the drugs have a tremendous attraction.


Whatsoever is denied becomes tremendously powerful over you, because the mind goes on constantly fabricating fantasies around it.
 You try anything. Try to fight with anything. Small things.... If I tell you that to touch your nose is a sin.... It is absolutely nonsense, and such an innocent thing -- touching your nose -- but try it. For three weeks think that touching your nose is a sin -- you will go crazy! You will find places where nobody can see and you will touch your nose. And you will enjoy it, I tell you. And then you will feel guilty that you have missed one more opportunity of getting to heaven.


And the more you avoid it and the more you control yourself, the more you will ask, 'What has happened?' The nose was never attractive; you never even bothered about it. You were not even aware that it existed. Suddenly it has become the very center of your mind. You will think of noses, beautiful noses -- not one, rows of noses, longer and longer and longer rows, and in your dreams you will touch thousands of noses, and in the morning you will feel guilty and you will have to go to a priest to confess that again you have done the same sin. This is what has happened.


In my childhood, in my family tomatoes were not allowed. Because I was born in a jain family, and tomatoes look like meat -- just look! They are very innocent. You cannot find more innocent people than tomatoes! But they were not allowed. They had a tremendous attraction for me.


Once, staying with a friend, curiosity overtook me, and he offered tomatoes and I ate. They were so beautiful; they have never been as beautiful since then. But in the night I vomited. I felt so guilty. And then, when I vomited, I understood that these tomatoes are really very dangerous things. I had never vomited before that. My whole being was upside down, I couldn't sleep the whole night, and the next day I fasted, just to repent. Now it all looks stupid, but then it was relevant.


And all the things -- whether it is sex, whether it is food, or whatsoever -- once it is denied, once an authority says, 'No, it is wrong,' suddenly your innermost unconscious mind starts thinking about it, imagining how to get it. You go on projecting and you go on colouring it, making it more and more beautiful.


Drop all this nonsense. Float with life. Trust in life. And that's what I call trust in god.


Forget all gods; they are man-made, manufactured by the human mind. Trust life, and wherever life leads you, go with it. Don't try to swim upstream, and all that you would like will happen -- but not because you would like it.


In fact, a deep desire for it exists in you because already life has planned to fulfill it for you. The deep desire simply indicates that life has planned it to be fulfilled for you. You just allow life, you float with life, and it will lead you to the promised land. That's why a deep desire goes on asking.


People go on creating a paradise somewhere beyond the clouds. The paradise is herenow. You create a paradise because you deny yourself many things and you desire many things and you go on fighting and the whole life becomes miserable.


In this misery, you create hope, because otherwise the misery would be too much. Everybody would commit suicide if there was no paradise. Because of paradise you go on -- it is only a few days' trouble and then everything will be okay; you will be with god in paradise.


You are never going to be with god in paradise unless you are with god herenow. Be with god today.


And what is the way of being with god today? Don't fight  -- surrender. Surrender to life. And you are not surrendering to anybody. It is your life. So the moment I say surrender to life, don't create a duality in the mind. You are not surrendering to anybody else; it is your life, it is you... infinitely you, expanded you.
<p class="question">SEVERAL SANNYASINS HAVE TOLD ME THAT YOU DO NOT APPROVE OF MACROBIOTICS. IS THIS SO? I WONDER WHETHER YOUR CRITICISMS WERE DIRECTED AT OBSESSIVE ATTITUDES TOWARDS DIET RATHER THAN AT THE PRINCIPLES OF MACROBIOTICS.
MACROBIOTICS IS PURE TAOISM. THERE ARE NO RULES AND NO PROHIBITIONS. ITS EMPHASIS IS ON AWARENESS, FREEDOM, SENSIBILITY AND FLEXIBILITY. IT HAS NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH FOOD FADS, RIGID DIETS OR OBSESSIVE ATTITUDES. BROWN RICE IS MISTAKENLY REGARDED BY SOME AS THE BASIS OF MACROBIOTICS, BUT IT IS ONLY ONE ELEMENT AND CAN BE USED OR DISCARDED, RECOGNIZED OR IGNORED. COULD YOU PLEASE COMMENT?</p>


The first thing: I am against all fads. Irrespective of what the fad is, I am against all fads, because fads attract obsessive people. Fads become hiding-places for insane people. People who are abnormal, they hide themselves behind fads, and they create systems, theories, dogmas, to rationalize.


I used to live with a woman. She was a very lovely woman, but almost crazy about cleanliness. The whole day she was cleaning the house, the whole day she was decorating -- for no purpose, because she never allowed anybody in the house. If guests would come she would meet them on the lawn.


I asked her, 'You continuously go on decorating and cleaning your house, but I see that nobody is ever allowed in.' She said, 'Those people, they may make everything dirty.' 'Then what is the purpose of it?'
She said, 'Cleanliness is next to god.'


Now, this woman is mad. Cleanliness has become just a hiding-place. It has become a ritual. Now, cleaning the whole day, she remains occupied. Cleaning the whole day has become her whole life -- it is a sheer wastage. But you cannot say that cleanliness is bad; cleanliness is good. So she has a reason. She is mad with a perfect rationality.


Even her husband was not allowed to come into the drawing-room. And she never allowed herself to have any children, because children are dirty and they would create trouble and they would make things messy. Her whole life was sacrificed at the altar of cleanliness.


I said, 'Of course, you have proved that cleanliness is second to god. You have made it an altar of god and you are sacrificing your whole life to it.'
But she would say, 'Am I wrong?'..


You cannot say she is wrong. Cleanliness is good, hygenic -- but there is a limit to it. The faddist always goes beyond the limit. He is deep down very troubled. I told the woman, 'You do one thing: for three days you don't clean the house. If you can remain sane for three days without cleaning the house, I will also join you and I will also clean your house the whole day.'


She said, 'Three days without cleaning? That is impossible. I will go mad.' She is already mad.


So whenever there is someone who is hiding behind a fad, whatsoever the fad is -- it may be macrobiotics or something else -- I am against it. I am against the attitude of obsessiveness.
Let me tell you one anecdote:
"A man came home from the match. His wife looked up from the paper and said, 'Look here, Fred, there's a report in the paper about a man who's just given his wife to a friend in return for a football season-ticket. You're a keen fan but you wouldn't do a thing like that, would you?'


Fred said, 'Of course I wouldn't. It is ridiculous and criminal -- the season is half over!"'


This is the mind of a fan, of a faddist. But these people can go on hiding behind beautiful reasons.


Mahatma Gandhi was continuously concerned about his bowel movements. He was almost obsessive about it. Sometimes when your stomach is disturbed, one can think about it, but continuously pondering and meditating and brooding over it is nonsense. But he was continuously brooding -- as if that was the greatest subject in the world to think about.


He would do his prayer, or he was going to see the viceroy, or he was going to take part in the round-table conference which was going to decide the fate of India and its freedom, but first he would take an enema. You would be surprised: in his diary, enema is as much referred to as god. Enema seems to be a second god.


But if you argued with him, he would look perfectly clear about it: the stomach has to be completely clean, because without a clean stomach the whole body gets toxins, this and that, and only with a clean stomach can the mind be clean. How can the mind be healthy without a healthy body? Then he would go on and on, arguing about it, thinking about it. But in fact, it is a fad and a sort of illness. And it doesn't show a healthy mind; it shows an unhealthy mind.


This type of attitude I am against. I have said to many sannyasins... because they come to me with their fads. One young man came and he said he had come to me to learn how to live only on water! I told him, 'You will make me a criminal. If I tell you how to live on water, you will die!'


He was lean and thin, almost on the verge of collapse, but he had a fad that purity is possible only through water. Only water is pure and everything else is impure. His eyes were getting yellow, ill. He was not eating well, his body was starved, and by and by his brain would start being feverish. And the more feverish he would become, the more he would make efforts to purify himself. I have to tell such people that they are moving in a very very dangerous direction.


Macrobiotic addicts also come to me. Now, this question is from Dharmananda. He has exactly caught the point. I am not against anything in particular, because I am not in favour of anything in particular. I am just in favour of life -- life in its tremendous richness.


So if it is as Dharmananda says, I don't think macrobiotic people will agree with him. Now let me read the whole question again. I don't think macrobiotic people will agree with him, because he has destroyed the whole thing.


He says: MACROBIOTICS IS PURE TAOISM. No principle, no theory, can be pure taoism. Even taoism is not pure taoism. Lao Tzu resisted for his whole life. He denied his disciples, he rejected all appeals to him to make a theory about his whole principle, because he said, 'Once tao is said, it is no more tao. Truth cannot be said, cannot be theorized.' Only in the end he wrote something -- and that too under pressure.


He was leaving China. It seems he was coming to India. Everybody has to come finally to India. India is not a geographical point; it is the very source of all human consciousness. Everyone who wants to be reoriented has to come to the orient. 'Orient' simply means orientation.


Lao Tzu.... Of course, chinese scholars never say that he was going to India; that offends their ego. They say he was going to the south, but India is the south. They say he moved towards the south, but India is the south for China. And of course, it seems meaningful -- Lao Tzu coming back to India. That seems absolutely relevant. Everybody has to come. India is everybody's home.


He was caught on the boundaries of China by the government officials and they said, 'We will not allow you to go out of the country with your treasure. You have to leave the treasure.'
He asked, 'What do you mean?'


They said, 'You have to write a book before you leave our country. You know something; you have to write it down and hand it over to the government. Then you can leave.'


So he was forced on the boundary by these officials. In three days he went and quickly wrote the whole 'Tao Teh Ching'. But in the first line he says, 'Tao cannot be uttered, and the tao that is uttered is no more tao.' So even taoism is not pure tao -- the 'ism' makes it impure. So forget about macrobiotics -- that it can be pure taoism. It is a theory, an hypothesis.


THERE ARE NO RULES AND NO PROHIBITIONS. If there are no rules and no prohibitions, then why be unnecessarily worried about macrobiotics? Then what is the point of calling yourself a follower of macrobiotics if there are no rules and no regulations? There are.


I would like that Dharmananda is right. I would like it perfectly; that is what my whole standpoint is. But Dharmananda cannot be approved of by macrobiotic people. They have rules and regulations. In fact, Dharmananda is smuggling me into macrobiotics. He is my follower, so of course, it can be understood.


ITS EMPHASIS IS ON AWARENESS, FREEDOM, SENSITIVITY AND FLEXIBILITY. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FOOD FADS, RIGID DIETS OR OBSESSIVE ATTITUDES. No, they will not agree with you, Dharmananda. They will not.


MACROBIOTICS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BROWN RICE. They are mad about brown rice. They think brown rice is god, and unless you live on brown rice you will miss. But he says: BROWN RICE IS MISTAKENLY REGARDED BY SOME AS THE BASIS OF MACROBIOTICS BUT IT IS ONLY ONE ELEMENT AND CAN BE USED OR DISCARDED, RECOGNIZED OR IGNORED. But then what remains? If even brown rice is discarded, ignored, and there are no principles and no regulations and it is pure taoism, then what remains? Nothing remains. Then I can happily say, 'Yes, be a macrobiotic follower, no problem.'


I am against fads. I am against a disciplined life. I am not against discipline; I am against disciplined life.


Discipline should come moment to moment from your inner being. It should be an inner light, not imposed from the outside. One should move in deep response to life. One should not follow any doctrine.


Because if you follow a doctrine then you already have a conclusion with you. You live through that conclusion. You live from a center which is already fixed. Then you are not free. You cannot be flexible. Your principle, your idea, your center, your conclusion, will not allow you to be flexible. You will react according to your conclusion.


But if you are free and each moment decides its own conclusion, it is not carried over from the past, then it is perfectly okay. Then you have a discipline -- real discipline -- but you don't have a disciplined life.


Any man who is really alive has no character, cannot have a character. Character is always dead -- a dead structure around you, carried over from the past, the past experience. If you act out of your character, you don't act at all; you simply react. You don't respond. Response is immediate. Life creates a situation, a challenge, and you respond. You respond out of your being, with no center, with no conclusion. Not through the past; herenow comes the response -- pure, virgin.


That discipline I appreciate. That discipline I love. But any other discipline that you force yourself in, that you practise, is dangerous. That is going to kill you. That's how many people are already dead. Their discipline has killed them.
<p class="question">WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOING WITHIN AND GOING NOWHERE?</p>


There is no difference. Going nowhere is going within. Going within is going nowhere. The difference is only that of terminology. If you ask upanishads, they say go within. If you ask Buddha, he says go nowhere. And if you ask me, both mean the same; but still, 'nowhere' is better than 'within'.


Why? Because the moment you say 'within' you have created a dichotomy of without and within -- as if god is only within and not without. God is without also. God is within also. It is the same life that is within me and without, within you and without. It is the same phenomenon, so why create a dichotomy?


When Buddha says go nowhere, that is what nirvana is -- going nowhere.


If you understand, going nowhere simply means going not. Going nowhere does not mean going nowhere. It simply means going not... just being, not going at all -- because all going is motivated, all going is because of desire.


When there is no desire, everything stops. When there is no desire, there is no movement. Time stops. Future drops, past disappears -- only this moment, only this moment....
Just the other day I quoted Basho's haiku:

THE ANCIENT POND
A FROG JUMPED IN
PLOP.

Time has stopped.


In Japanese it is even more beautiful; that cannot be translated.


If I try an exact translation then it will be like this:

ANCIENT POND
FROG JUMPED IN
PLOP.


A process. When we say 'a frog jumped in', it is as if something is ended, finished, completed. In Japanese it is not 'a frog jumped in'; it is 'a frog jump-in'. Just the process -- plop! -- the sound -- and everything has stopped.


Basho has also made a picture of that frog and the pond. If you look deep into the frog's eyes you will find Bodhidharma sitting there. The eyes of the frog are almost like Bodhidharma, plopping out.


A moment when time stops.... And why is the frog jumping in? There is no why. A jump-in -- for no motivation, for no desire. It just happened. It just happened that the frog found himself jumping in. A stirring... the pond stirred; the sound... the air stirred, and then nothing. Nothing was before, nothing is after -- just in between, a happening.


It is neither coming in, nor is it going out. It is going nowhere. It is not going at all. A moment when everything stops, an unmotivated moment. It does not mean that you will not be walking. You may jump in the ancient pond -- that is not the point -- but there is no motivation... for nothing.


You move for the sheer joy of movement. You breathe for the sheer joy of breathing. You don't desire anything out of it. You don't desire even the next moment. Plop. This moment is enough.


Buddha's saying, 'going nowhere', is a better expression. But don't be caught in words. All buddhas mean the same -- jesus, Mahavir, Zarathustra, Lao Tzu or Gautam Buddha. Whatsoever their expressions, they all mean the same. Don't by to be scholarly, and don't be a word-chopper. It is all the same.


You can call it coming in, or you can even call it going out. Christianity, islam, judaism, they all say god is there, thou, somewhere outside you. You have to fall in love with that and disappear in that love. Hinduism, buddhism, jainism, they say god is in, somewhere within you. You have to disappear there. But these are all ways of saying, because god is out and god is in, because all outs and ins are within him.


Don't be a word-chopper, otherwise you can go on and on playing with words.


Let me tell you one anecdote:
"'The last time I gave you money,' said the old lady, 'you promised you would not walk straight into the pub and spend it.'
'That's right,' said the tramp.
'Well, you did!'
'Lady, don't you know the difference between a walk and a sprint?"'


Don't be a word-chopper. Whether you run into the pub or you walk in, it is all the same. The tramp must have been a very clever man. He is saying, 'Lady, don't you know the difference between a walk and a sprint? I had promised not to walk. I never promised not to run.'


Remember, words can be a dangerous game. The whole point is, be unmotivated. Then whether you go out or you go in, or go somewhere or go nowhere, is irrelevant. Be unmotivated.


People come to me and they say, 'We would like to be happy.' Their whole life is motivated -- they would like to be happy -- and I feel very sad for them. Because happiness is not a motivation. You can either be happy this moment or you will never be happy. You cannot say, 'I would like to be happy tomorrow.' That is foolish.


And happiness needs no prerequirements, no prerequisites. Just see the point of it. You can be happy right now as you are. If you really want to be happy, then don't try to be happy -- just be happy. Who is blocking the way? Who is hindering you? Who is forcing you to be unhappy?


But you say, 'Right now I have to be unhappy, but tomorrow I would like to be happy.' The tomorrow is going to be the same. It will come as a today. This today was also tomorrow yesterday. And yesterday you told me, 'I'm going to be happy tomorrow.'


If this is the way, if this is your logic, happiness is never going to happen. It is already happening. Just be happy. You give it a try. Just for twenty-four hours remain happy. Whenever you catch yourself getting unhappy again, give a good jerk and be happy. Shake the whole body and be happy again. It is just a knack. It has nothing to do with the tomorrow or the future. It is just a knack, an art.


I have never seen any situation in which a man cannot be happy. And I have also not seen any situation in which a man cannot be unhappy. It depends on you. It is your decision.


Happiness comes when you remain in an unmotivated moment... a sheer delight in being.
<p class="question">HOW TO BE CREATIVE WHILE DOING JOBS WHICH SEEM NOT TO LEAVE ANY SPACE FOR CREATIVITY, LIKE CLEANING, ETC.?</p>


It is from Krishna Radha. She cleans. But I also do the same thing: every morning, every evening, twenty-four hours -- cleaning your mind, cleansing. But I never feel that there is any need for any other creativity.


Cleaning a floor can be a tremendously creative act. Remember, creativity has nothing to do with any particular work. Creativity has something to do with the quality of your consciousness. Whatsoever you do can become creative. Whatsoever you do can become creative if you know what creativity means.


Creativity means enjoying any work as meditation; doing any work with deep love. If you love me and you clean this auditorium, it is creative. If you don't love me then of course it is a chore, it is a duty to be done somehow, it is a burden. Then you would like some other time to be creative. What will you do in that other time? Can you find a better thing to do? Are you thinking that if you paint, you will feel creative?


But painting is just as ordinary as cleaning the floor. You will be throwing colours on a canvas. Here you go on washing the floor, cleaning the floor. What is the difference? Talking to somebody, a friend, and you feel time is being wasted. You would like to write a great book; then you will be creative. But a friend has come: a little gossiping is perfectly beautiful. Be creative.


All the great scriptures are nothing but gossips of people who were creative. What do I go on doing here? Gossiping. They will become gospels some day, but originally they are gossips. But I enjoy doing them. I can go on and on for eternity. You may get tired some day, I am not going to get tired. It is sheer delight. It is possible that one day you may get so tired that you disappear and there is nobody -- and I will be talking. If you really love something, it is creative.


But this happens to everybody. Many people come to me. When they come for the first time they will say, 'Any work, Osho. Any work -- even cleaning!' Exactly they say, 'Even cleaning! -- but your work and we will be happy.' And then after a few days they come to me and they say, 'Cleaning.... We would like to have some great creative work.'
Let me tell you one anecdote:
"Worried about their lacklustre sex life, the young wife finally persuaded her husband to undergo hypnotic treatment. After a few sessions his sexual interest was kindled again, but during their lovemaking he would occasionally dash out of the bedroom, go to the bathroom and come back again.


Overcome by curiosity, the wife followed him one day to the bathroom. Tip-toeing to the doorway she saw him standing before the mirror staring fixedly at himself and muttering, 'She is not my wife. She is not my wife."'


When you fall in love with a woman, of course she is not your wife. You make love, you enjoy, but then things settle; then she is your wife. Then things become old. Then you know the face, you know the body, you know the topography, and then you get bored. The hypnotist did well. He simply suggested, While making love to your wife, you go on thinking, "She is not my wife. She is not my wife."'


So, Krishna Radha, while cleaning, you go on thinking you are painting. This is not cleaning. This is great creativity. And it will be. It is just your mind playing tricks. If you understand, then you bring your creativity to every act that you do.


A man of understanding is continuously creative. Not that he is trying to be creative. The way he sits is a creative act. Watch him sitting. You will find in his movement a certain quality of dance, a certain dignity. Just the other day we were reading the story of the zen master who stood in the hole with great dignity -- dead. Even his death was a creative act. He did it perfectly well; you cannot improve upon it. Even dead he was standing with dignity, with grace?


When you understand, whatsoever you do -- cooking, cleaning.... Life consists of small things; just your ego goes on saying these are small things. You would like some great thing to do -- a great poetry. You would like to become Shakespeare or Kalidas or Milton. It is your ego that is creating the trouble. Drop the ego and everything is creative.
I have heard:
"A housewife was so pleased with the promptness shown by the grocer's boy that she asked him his name. 'Shakespeare,' replied the boy.
'Well, that is quite a famous name.'
'It should be. I have been delivering in this neighbourhood for almost three years now."'


I like it. Why bother about being Shakespeare? Three years delivering in a neighbourhood -- it's almost as beautiful as writing a book, a novel, a p}ay.


Life consists of small things. They become great if you love. Then everything is tremendously great. If you don't love, then your ego goes on saying, 'This is not worthy of you. Cleaning? Krishna Radha, this is not worthy of you. Do something great -- become Joan of Arc.' All nonsense. All Joan of Arcs are nonsense.


Cleaning is great. Don't go on an ego-trip. Whenever the ego comes and persuades you towards some great things, immediately become aware and drop the ego, and then by and by you will find the trivia is sacred. Nothing is profane; everything is sacred and holy.


And unless everything becomes holy to you, your life cannot be religious.


A holy man is not what you call a saint. A saint may be just on an ego-trip. And also he will look a saint to you because you think he has done great deeds.


A holy man is an ordinary man who loves ordinary life. Chopping wood, carrying water from the well, cooking -- whatsoever he touches becomes holy. Not that he is doing great things, but whatsoever he does, he does it greatly.,


The greatness is not in the thing done. The greatness is in the consciousness that you bring while you do it.


Try. Touch a pebble with great love; it becomes a kohinoor, a great diamond. Smile, and suddenly you are a king or a queen. Laugh, delight....


Each moment of your life has to be transformed by your meditative love.


When I say be creative, I don't mean that you should all go and become great painters and great poets. I simply mean let your life be a painting, let your life be a poetry.


Always remember it, otherwise the ego is going to land you in some trouble. Go to the criminals and ask why they have become criminals: because they could not find any great thing to do. They could not become a president of a country -- of course, all persons cannot become presidents of a country -- so they killed a president; that is easier. They became as famous as the president. They were in all the newspapers with their pictures on the front page.


A man, just a few months ago, killed seven persons, and he was asked why -- because those seven persons were totally unrelated to him. He wanted to become great, he said, and no newspaper was ready to publish his poems, his articles; they were refused from everywhere. Nobody was ready to publish his picture, and life was fleeting, so he killed seven persons. They were not related to him, he was not angry with them; he just wanted to become famous.


Your politicians and your criminals are not different types of people. All criminals are political and all politicians are criminal -- not only Richard Nixon. Poor Richard Nixon was caught redhanded, that's all. Others seem to be more clever and more cunning.
"Mrs. Moskowitz was bursting with pride. 'Did you hear about my son Louie?' she asked her neighbour.
'No. What is with your son Louie?'
'He is going to a psychiatrist. Twice each week he is going to a psychiatrist.'
'Is that good?'
'Of course it is good. Forty dollars an hour he pays. Forty dollars! -- and all he talks about is me,' said the mother. " The mother is feeling very happy.


Never allow yourself this tendency for being great, famous, someone bigger than life-size -- never. Life-size is perfect. To be exactly life-size, to be just ordinary, is perfectly as it should be. But live that ordinariness in an extraordinary way. That is what a nirvanic consciousness is all about.


Now let me tell you the last thing. If nirvana becomes a great goal for you to achieve, then you will be in a nightmare. Then nirvana can become the last and the greatest nightmare. But if nirvana is in small things, the way you live them, the way you transform every small activity into a holy act, in a prayer, your house becomes a temple, your body becomes the abode of god, and wherever you look and whatsoever you touch, is tremendously beautiful, sacred; then nirvana is freedom.


Nirvana is to live the ordinary life so alert, so full of consciousness, so full of light, that everything becomes luminous.


It is possible. I say so because I have lived it so, I am living it so. When I say it, I say with authority. When I say it, I am not quoting Buddha or Jesus. When I say it, I am quoting only myself.


It has become possible for me; it can become possible for you. Just don't hanker for the ego. Just love life, trust life, and life will give you all that you need. Life will become a blessing for you, a benediction.
		

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> Copyright 1964-1990 Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh)
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