---
section: Library
booktitle: "Zen: Zest, Zip, Zap and Zing"
booktype: "Discourses"
bookcode: "ZZZZZ"
dategiven: "10 January 1981 am"
place: " in Buddha Hall"
chapternum: "Chapter #15"
chaptertitle: "The Philousia"
acode: "8101100"
shorttitle: "ZZZZZ15"
audio: "Yes"
video: "Yes"
esttime: ""
displaytitle: "Zen: Zest, Zip, Zap and Zing: Chapter #15"
---

```style
.sutra {
  font-style: italic;
  white-space: pre-wrap !important;
}
```
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The first question
<p class="question">OSHO,
IS THERE ANYTHING YOU CAN SAY ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPENING TO VIMALKIRTI?</p>


Arup,
Nothing is happening to Vimalkirti -- exactly nothing, because nothing is nirvana. The West has no idea of the beauty of nothingness. The whole Western attitude is extrovert, oriented towards things, oriented towards actions. 'Nothing' sound like emptiness -- it is not so.


This is one of the greatest discoveries of the East: that nothing is not empty, on the contrary it is just the opposite of emptiness. It is fullness, it is overflowingness.


Break the word 'nothing' in two, make it 'no-thingness', and then suddenly its meaning changes, the gestalt changes.


Nothing is the goal of sannyas. One has to come to a space where nothing is happening; all happening has disappeared. The doing is gone, the doer is gone, the desire is gone, the goal is gone. One simply is -- not even a ripple in the lake of consciousness, no sound.


The Zen people call it 'the sound of one hand clapping'. Now, one hand clapping cannot create sound; it is soundless sound, the omkar, just silence. But silence is not empty, it is very full. The moment you are absolutely silent, absolutely attuned with nothingness, the whole descends in you, the beyond penetrates you.


But the Western mind has overpowered the whole world: we have become 'workaholics'. And my whole approach is to help you to become zeros. The zero is the most perfect experience in life; it is the experience of ecstasy.


Vimalkirti is blessed. He was one of those few of my chosen sannyasins who never wavered for a single moment, whose trust has been total the whole time he was here. He never asked a question, he never wrote a letter, he never brought any problem. His trust was such that he became by and by absolutely merged with me. He has one of the rarest hearts; that quality of the heart has disappeared from the world. He is really a prince, really royal, really aristocratic! Aristocracy has nothing to do with birth, it has something to do with the quality of the heart. And I experienced him as one of the rarest, most beautiful souls on the earth. It is not a question at all of asking about him: What is happening?


Of course, one tends to think in the old ways in which one was brought up, and more particularly so about a German!
I have heard:


One German reached heaven and knocked on the doors. St Peter opened a small window and looked out. He asked, 'How old are you?' Then he looked in the records and was very puzzled because the German said, 'Seventy.'


He said, 'This can't be right. According to your record of working hours you must be at least one hundred and forty-three years old!'


The German continuously works. The German represents the ultimate in Western mind, just as the Indian represents the ultimate in Eastern mind. The Indian is always sitting silently, doing nothing, waiting for the spring to come so that the grass can grow by itself. And it really grows!


Little Joey was sitting outside under a tree when he heard his mother cry out from the house, 'Joey, what are you doing?'
'Nothing, Mom,' he answered.
'No, really, Joey, what are you doing?'
'I said I ain't doing anything.'
'Don't lie to me! Tell me what you are doing!'


At this point Joey gave a deep sigh, picked up a stone and tossed it a few feet. 'I'm throwing rocks!' he said.


'That's what I thought you were doing! Now stop it immediately!'


'Golly!' Joey said to himself. 'No one will let ya do just nothin' anymore!'


Something has to be done... Nobody believes -- you will not believe me when I say Vimalkirti is doing nothing, is just being.


The day he had the haemorrhage I was a little worried about him, hence I told my doctor sannyasins to help him remain in the body at least for seven days. He was doing so beautifully and so fine, and then just to end suddenly when the work was incomplete... He was just on the edge -- a little push and he would become part of the beyond.


In fact, that's the reason why I want one of the most modern medical centres to be in the commune. If somebody is just on the verge and can be helped medically to remain in the body for a few more days, then he need not come back to life again.


Many questions have come to me about what I think of living through artificial methods. Now, he is breathing artificially. He would have died the same day -- he almost did die. Without these artificial methods he would have already been in another body, he would have entered another womb. But then I will not be available here by the time he comes. Who knows whether he will be able to find a Master or not? -- and a crazy Master like me! And once somebody has been so deeply connected with me, no other Master will do. They will look so flat, so dull, so dead!


Hence I wanted him to hang around a little more. Last night he managed: he crossed the boundary from doing to non-doing. That 'something' that was still in him dropped. Now he is ready, now we can say goodbye to him, now we can celebrate, now we can give him a send-off.


Give him an ecstatic bon voyage! Let him go with your dance, with your song!


When I went to see him, this is what transpired between me and him. I waited by his side with closed eyes -- he was immensely happy. The body is not at all usable anymore... The surgeons, the neurosurgeons and the other doctors were worried; they were asking again and again, enquiring about what I was up to, why I wanted him to be in the body, because there seemed to be no point in it -- even if he somehow managed to survive his brain would never be able to function rightly. And I would not like him to be in that state. It is better that he goes.


And they were worried about why I wanted him to go on breathing artificially. Even his heart stopped once in a while and then, artificially, his heart had to be stimulated again. His kidneys began to fail yesterday, his skull has been drilled -- there was such a great swelling inside. This was something congenital; it was bound to happen -- it was a programme in his body.


But he managed beautifully: before it could happen he used this life for the ultimate flowering. Just a little bit had remained; last night even that disappeared.


So last night when I told him, 'Vimalkirti, now you can go into the beyond with all my blessings,' he almost shouted in joy, 'Farrr out!' I told him, 'Not that long!'
And I told him a story...


The crow came up to the frog and said, 'There is going to be a big party in heaven!'


The frog opened his big mouth and said, 'Farrr out!'


The crow went on, 'There will be great food and drinks!'
And the frog replied, 'Farrr out!'


'And there will be beautiful women, and the Rolling Stones will be playing!'


The frog opened his mouth even wider and cried, 'Farrr out!'


Then the crow added, 'But anyone who has a big mouth won't be allowed in!'


The frog pursed his lips tightly together and mumbled, 'Poor alligator! He will be disappointed!'


Arup, Vimalkirti is perfectly beautiful. He will not need to come back again into a body; he is going awakened, he is going in the state of Buddhahood.


So you all have to rejoice, dance and sing and celebrate! You have to learn how to celebrate life and how to celebrate death. Life is really not as great as death can be, but death can be great only if one achieves the fourth state, turiya.


Ordinarily it is difficult to get disidentified from the body and the brain and the heart, but it happened very easily to Vimalkirti. He had to become disidentified because the body was already dead -- it has been dead for five days -- the brain was already lost, the heart was far away.


This accident is an accident for the people who are on the outside, but for Vimalkirti himself it has proved a blessing in disguise. You cannot get identified with such a body: the kidneys not functioning, the breathing not functioning, the heart not functioning, the brain totally damaged. How can you get identified with such a body? Impossible. Just a little alertness and you will become separate -- and that much alertness he had, that much he had grown. So he immediately became aware that 'I am not the body, I am not the mind, I am not the heart either.' And when you pass beyond these three, the fourth, turiya, is attained, and that is your real nature. Once it is attained it is never lost.


He used to love my jokes and this will be the last lecture for him, so two jokes for him:


An Italian couple was rushing to the hospital as the wife was about to have a baby. On the way there was a terrible automobile accident and the husband ended up in the hospital in a coma.


When he finally came to he was told he had been in a coma for three months and that his wife was fine and he was the proud father of twins, a boy and a girl.


As soon as he could he left the hospital to be with his family and after being home for a little while he asked his wife the names she had given the children.


The wife replied, 'Well-a, in keeping with-a Italian-a tradition, I didn't name them. It's-a the man's-a place to name-a the newborn babies, and since you were unconscious the job-a went-a to your brother.'


Hearing this, the husband got very upset, saying, 'My brother is an idiot-a! He doesn't know-a anything! So what-a did-a he name them?'
The wife said, 'He named the girl-a Denise.'


'Hey,' the husband said, 'that's-a not-a bad! And-a the bambino?
'The boy he named Da nephew.'


Abe Einstein owned a company which manufactured nails in Ohio. He was doing so well that he could afford to spend the winter vacationing in Miami. The only problem was that he did not believe that his son, Max, had the good sense to run the business in his absence. Abe's friend, Moishe, convinced him to take the winter off, pointing out that Ma% was going to inherit the business some day anyway, so he ought to give himself a chance to prove himself now.


Abe was having a great time in Miami until he received a copy by post of the magazine, NAILS QUARTERLY. In the magazine was a full-page colour ad for Einstein's Nails with a picture of Jesus nailed to the cross. The caption read: 'They Used Einstein's Nails!'


Abe called Max immediately, 'Don't ever say such a thing again!'


Max assured his father that he understood. Abe felt assured until he got the next issue of NAILS QUARTERLY, containing an ad showing Jesus lying on the ground below the cross with the caption: 'They Didn't Use Einstein's Nails!'


These are the 'three L's' of my Philousia: life, love, laughter. Life is only a seed, love is a flower, laughter is fragrance. Just to be born is not enough, one has to learn the art of living; that is the A of meditation. Then one has to learn the art of loving; that is the B of meditation. And then one has to learn the art of laughing; that is the C of meditation. And meditation has only three letters: A,B,C.


So today you will have to give a beautiful send-off to Vimalkirti. Give it with great laughter. Of course, I know you will miss him -- even I will miss him. He has become such a part of the commune, so deeply involved with everybody. I will miss him more than you because he was the guard in front of my door, and it was always a joy to come out of the room and see Vimalkirti standing there always smiling. Now it will not be possible again.


But he will be around here in your smiles, in your laughter. He will be here in the flowers, in the sun, in the wind, in the rain, because nothing is ever lost -- nobody really dies, one becomes part of eternity.


So even though you will feel tears, let those tears be tears of joy -- joy for what he has attained. Don't think of yourself, that you will be missing him, think of him, that he is fulfilled. And this is how you will learn, because sooner or later many more sannyasins will be going on the journey to the farther shore and you will have to learn to give them beautiful send-offs. Sooner or later I will have to go, and this is how you will also learn to give me a send-off with laughter, dance, song.


My whole approach is of celebration. Religion to me is nothing but the whole spectrum of celebration, the whole rainbow, all the colours of celebration. Make it a great opportunity for yourself, because in celebrating his departure many of you can reach to greater heights, to new dimensions of being, it will be possible. These are the moments which should not be missed; these are the moments which should be used to their fullest capacity.


I am happy with him... and many of you are getting ready in the same way. I am really happy with my people! I don't think there has ever been a Master who had so many beautiful disciples. Jesus was very poor in that sense -- not a single disciple became enlightened. Buddha was the richest in the past, but I am determined to defeat Gautam the Buddha!

The second question
<p class="question">OSHO,
 MY IDEA OF A GOOD TIME IS TO GO TO A GOOD FRENCH RESTAURANT, EAT MY FAVOURITE FOOD, SMOKE BETWEEN COURSES, LISTEN TO MUSIC, DRINK LOTS OF WINE AND READ AN ABSORBING NOVEL -- ALL AT THE SAME TIME. WHAT TO DO? P.S. I AM IN THE ZAZEN GROUP AT THE MOMENT.
Anand Surendra,</p>


Zazen and Vipassana -- these two groups give people such beautiful ideas! Every day I receive many letters from the Zazen and Vipassana groups -- no other group gives such good ideas, because sitting silently doing nothing, one starts fantasizing about all kinds of things. Your idea is just farrr out!


Vimalkirti's brother is here, Georg. He has sent me a beautiful definition of the difference between heaven and hell. Surendra, that will help you.


Heaven is when the English are the policemen, the Germans are the engineers, the Italians are the lovers, the Swiss are the organizers and the French are the cooks.


Hell is when the Germans are the policemen, the English are the cooks, the French are the engineers, the Italians are the organizers and the Swiss are the lovers.

The third question
<p class="question">OSHO,
 HAVE YOU COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN ABOUT US, THE POOR POLACKS?
Rupam,</p>


It is impossible for me to forget the Polacks, but once in a while it is good for you to remind me because I have to take care of so many kinds of idiots that I cannot devote my whole time to the Polacks!


Marlboro cigarettes were advertised for the first time ever on Polish television recently. The response startled advertising executives throughout the world... sales of horses and cowboy hats went up by five hundred percent!


What does it say at the bottom of a Polish Coca-Cola bottle? 'Open other end.'


Did you hear about the Polack who lost his girlfriend? He could not remember where he laid her.


How can you tell if a Polack has been in your backyard? The garbage is gone and the dog is pregnant.


What do they call a Polack who marries an ape? A social climber.


What do you get when a Polack marries an ape? A retarded ape.


Did you hear about the Polack who thought his typewriter was pregnant when it skipped two periods?

How does a Polack grease his car?
He runs over an Italian.


Did you hear about the Polack who was so lazy he married a pregnant girl?


The Polack was asked in a political discussion, 'What would you do with Red China?'
He said he would put it on a purple tablecloth.


The two Polish astronauts were in outer space. One was walking outside the capsule and after a while he wanted to re-enter. He knocked on the door and the guy inside said 'Who's there?'


The Polish mother was baking. Her kid entered the house and asked, 'Ma, can I lick the bowl?' 'No,' she said, 'flush it like everyone else.'


A Polack walked into a butcher's shop with a pig. The pig said, 'Hey, how much can I get for this Polack?'

The last question
<p class="question">OSHO,
OUR MOTHER IS GOING REALLY CRAZY BEING HERE. IN THE MORNING BEFORE LECTURE SHE GOES TO THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, AND AFTERWARDS SHE COMES TO LECTURE -- AND EVEN ENJOYS IT! SHE HAS STARTED WEARING A RED DRESS AND SHE LAUGHS AND CRIES A LOT. AND DID YOU KNOW THAT OUR OTHER SISTER IS A CATHOLIC NUN? WHAT'S HAPPENING?</p>


Prem Bijo and Prem Cordula,
This is a good sign that your mother is going crazy, because that's the only way to escape from the so-called sanity of Catholicism. And you feel puzzled that:

IN THE MORNING SHE GOES TO THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, AND AFTERWARDS SHE COMES TO LECTURE -- AND EVEN ENJOYS IT!


There is no problem in it; it is very consistent. After the Catholic church one is bound to enjoy it here! The whole credit goes to the Catholic church. After hell you will enjoy anything!


But I am worried about your sister who is a Catholic nun...


Do you know what the favourite food of Catholic monks is?
A hot buttered nan!


Let her go a little more crazy! She is on the right track.


These priests -- Catholic, Hindu, Jew, Mohammedan -- they are the same people. They talk very consistently, their theologies are very systematic, logical. It appeals to the head, but only to the head -- and you are not the head. It destroys your heart.


My function here is to make your heart beat faster, to bring your energy more to the heart, because only from the heart can it go to the being; without the heart it can never reach the being. From the head there is no direct route to being, it has to go via the heart.


And whenever you have lived long enough in the head and you start slipping into the heart, you are torn apart. You will cry, you will laugh -- you will laugh because of the heart and you will cry because of the head! And you will feel crazy, torn apart, because you will be neither here nor there; you will be in a kind of limbo.


Getting rid of the priests is a difficult phenomenon, but once you are here it is bound to happen. And if your mother has started becoming a little crazy that means she is catching the disease -- the orange disease!


Fred Tannenbaum was stationed in a small Southern town. There he met a girl and fell madly in love. He called his mother to tell her he wanted to get married. Yes, the girl was Jewish.


'But you must be married by a rabbi!' insisted Mrs Tannenbaum.
'There aren't any rabbis around here!' said Fred.
'I'll send you one!'


And so Mrs Tannenbaum set off for her Lower East Side shul. She pleaded with her old rabbi to go South with her to marry her son, and he agreed. For the occasion the rabbi put on his best beaver hat, his favourite black silk wedding suit and his long black frock coat that almost touched the ground


When they got off the plane Mrs Tannenbaum showed the cab driver the girl's address, but somehow or other he dropped them at the wrong place and drove off. Mrs Tannenbaum, with the rabbi in tow, walked up and down the streets searching for Freddie and his bride-to-be. As they went along they seemed to attract a growing following. By the time they found the right address there were a dozen people behind them, staring at the rabbi.


The rabbi pulled himself up to his full height and faced the crowd of Southerners. 'What's the matter?' he said. 'Ain't you never seen a Yankee before?'

Logical but absurd, ridiculous!


The golf course was haunted by a malicious leprechaun who exploited the desperate ambitions of the poorer players. He slipped up beside one unfortunate man who was ploughing up the fairway in a club competition.


'Look,' he said, 'if you agree never to court a woman, flirt with a girl or marry, I'll help you win.'


'Done!' shouted the young golfer with the desperate abandon of his breed.


When the golfer was in the clubhouse changing and receiving the congratulations of the members, the leprechaun popped up on the shelf of the locker.


'Hey,' said the little elf, 'I have to have your name for my records. What is it?'


'Father Murphy,' grinned the golfer as he adjusted his Roman collar.


These people are cunning! Their cunningness appears as cleverness. They themselves are tired of what they are doing, bored, utterly bored; their only joy is to bore others. When they succeed at it they feel a little happy.


Your mother must have been bored enough, hence she is enjoying it here, because this is a totally different world. These are not gospels, these are gossips! And I am not talking religion, I am imparting it. And I am not a priest. I am simply enjoying myself, and whosoever wants to join in this merry-go-round is welcome.


The golfer was having a disastrous day. He had bogeyed nine holes and double-bogeyed three. Then on the eighteenth hole he was two feet from the pin for a possible birdie, but even then he couldn't do it. He took three strokes to sink his ball for another bogey.


At that point, understandably, his nerves cracked and he went to pieces. He threw his ball into the woods, broke his putter over his knee, and sat on the green and began to weep


'Oh!' he moaned. 'Oh! Oh! I'm going to give it up! I'm going to give it up! I'm going to give it up!'


Another golfer who was standing nearby said, 'Don't take it so hard. Just because of a bad day, don't give up golf! '


'Oh no,' the man moaned. 'I'm not going to give up golf. I'm going to give up the ministry!'


Your mother has come at the right time. It is still possible to take a quantum leap from the boring so-called religiousness into a really living godliness.


We are creating here a climate of life, love, laughter. This is a great opportunity if you have guts enough -- you can fulfil your destiny.


It is 9.05, and I agreed with Vimalkirti that at 8.30 he could leave the body, so he must have left the body. At 9.30 he will be here, and I will be coming back to give him a send-off. Get ready, rejoice, dance -- dance to abandon! Let him go like a prince. He was a prince. Everyone of my sannyasins is a prince.


I don't believe in beggars, I believe only in emperors!
		

> [!info]
> Copyright 1964-1990 Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh)
>