Nirvana: The Last Nightmare

Mastered By Zen

Mastered By Zen. The poet Jitoku wanted to master Zen. He visited Master Ekkei and received a whack. Mortified, he planned a duel. Dokuon: 'Can't you see the master was being kind? Exert yourself in zazen.' Three days of desperate contemplation—then ecstatic awakening. Zen masters don't want to master Zen—they want to be mastered by it. The whack is not violence but compassion, shattering the ego's expectations. Zen is not about being a poet or scholar; it's about dropping all pretensions and becoming empty.

The Ultimate Nightmare

The Ultimate Nightmare. 'You tell us to be herenow without goals, yet you allure us with enlightenment.' Enlightenment is not a goal—it's a present possibility. Desire creates tension and always projects into the future. That which is here cannot be desired—only delighted in. Nirvana cannot be desired. The ultimate nightmare: the mind itself, which creates goals and then chases them. Be herenow—not as a goal but as a natural dropping of the mind. Enlightenment surrounds you right now; you're just asleep.

Players Of A Game

Players Of A Game. Muso the national teacher crossed a river. A drunken samurai threatened to drown him. Muso remained calm. That night, the samurai was arrested—Muso intervened for his release. 'I was not angry—why should you be?' The master sees life as a game: no one is an enemy, no one is a friend. Players of a game: the enlightened play their roles fully but are not identified with them. The drunken samurai is part of the game; the master's calm is the proof of awakening.

The Drunken Dancer

The Drunken Dancer. 'What does the word God mean?' God cannot be understood—only felt. Intellect is for the outside world; it misguides inward. Feeling is the right direction. God is not the creator of the world—God is the creativity of existence itself. God is not a person but a presence. The aboriginal: 'Nobody told me. I felt it.' The drunken dancer: life dances without purpose, without planning. God is the dance, not the dancer. Drop understanding and start feeling.

Killing the buddha

Killing the Buddha. Sato-Kaiseki defended Mount Sumeru cosmology against Copernicus. Master Ekido: 'The aim of Buddhism is to shatter the triple world! Why treasure Mount Sumeru? Blockhead!' Metaphysics gives a false sense of power and knowledge. Man remains childish—psychological age around twelve. Killing the Buddha: if you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him. The Buddha is not a doctrine to defend but a state to attain. Shatter all concepts, all cosmologies, all metaphysical consolations.

Taking the risk

Taking the risk. 'In the beginning you told me what to do. Now you say decide for myself. I'm afraid of wrong decisions.' Two paths: surrender (drop the ego entirely) or will (become more aware so ignorance dissolves). Ego and ignorance are two sides of the same coin. Surrender is a single step—thousand-mile journey complete. Will is gradual, inch by inch. Both paths require courage. Taking the risk: either way, you must risk the known for the unknown. Fear of wrong decisions is the ego's trick to keep you static.

Fingers at the moon

Fingers at the moon. Foso Hoyen: Buddha said 5048 truths—emptiness, being, sudden, gradual—all yea-sayings. Yoka said no beings, no buddhas—nay-sayings. If you say yea you deny Yoka; if nay, you contradict Buddha. 'When I say this is so, perhaps it's not a yea-saying.' Truth is experiencing, not experience—never finished, always moving. The journey is the goal. Don't mistake the finger for the moon. All scriptures, all sayings are fingers. Turn east and see the western land—the opposites meet in truth.

Collecting seashells

Collecting seashells. 'How can I feel life fresh day by day?' Life is always fresh but you are stale—carrying yesterdays. The past is a barrier. The moment the mind says 'beautiful,' the moment is already dead. Knowledge is always dead. To be fresh: listen to birds without mind interfering, see trees without verbalization. Look without words. A rose compared to other roses is no longer this rose. Die every moment to the past. Collecting seashells: the mind collects dead things; life is the living ocean. Drop the seashells and dive in.

Dead with dignity

Dead with dignity. Master Fugai dug his own grave, climbed in, and died standing with great dignity. Life is an opportunity—you can use it, misuse it, or waste it. Existence is given; life must be earned. Existence lived consciously is life. Life knows no death—only existence comes and goes. The man who lives unconsciously is always afraid of death. Dead with dignity: Fugai chose the moment and manner of his death. Living with dignity is the preparation for dying with dignity. Life is an adventure into the unknown.

Living in nirvana

Living in nirvana. 'If ego comes through humility, doesn't it come through meditation too? I see egoistic people in the ashram.' The psychologist and the sex-obsessed young man—who's projecting? If you see ego everywhere, it's your projection. When you become egoless, the ego disappears from the whole world. Don't worry about others—look within. Find the cause in yourself; it can be dropped. Living in nirvana: nirvana is not somewhere else—it's here, when the ego drops. Be a little selfish: think of your own being, your own wastage of life.